Very Liberal Arts (Socks CDLXXXIII)

“What did you learn in home ec?”
“My husband laughs about my degree, but you’d be surprised how rounded the curriculum was. I was required to take accounting, algebra, and I even had to take a basic automobile care course.”
“Sounds tough.”
“It was tougher than Dan’s music appreciation class.”
“I took one blow off class, so what?”
“What about the trip to Manitou Island?”
“Environmental science.”
“So that case of Miller’s you took was part of the environmental impact study?”
“As a mater of fact we used the empty cans to collect samples.”
“And the cigars?”
“For building camaraderie.”

College Talk (Socks CDLXXXII)

“They were bought by the sisters of St Isabel of France. I was in the last graduating class at Hudson. ”
“That makes sense. St Isabel’s over in Hudson. I didn’t know.”
“Before the sisters took over it was smaller than most community colleges.”
“What was your major.”
“It was a liberal arts college. That was my degree, liberal arts. I took a lot of history and English classes.”
From the kitchen, “I was in the first graduating class at St Isabel’s.”
“What’s your degree?”
“Home economics.”
“Never heard of that either.”
“It’s out of date, not offered any more.”

New Feet (Socks CDLXXXI)

“Can I put these on now?”
“Sure, you have time.”
Kyle sat in the chair, took off the white crews, replacing them with Lar and Rar.
“Hey brother, any bunions over there?”
“No. You?”
Kyle didn’t bother to put his shoes back on before leaving the room.
When he got to the next room, he pulled up his pants legs, “Look what Sophie got for me.”
Now Sophie’s face turned red.
A man sat at a table, “I had a pair of argyles when I was in college.”
“Where did you go, Sir.”
“Call me Dan. Hudson college.”
“Where’s that?”

Sock Exchange (Socks CDLXXX)

“These are yours too.”
“I didn’t buy these, but they sure are cool.”
“I bought them from Mr. Fillmore.”
Kyle reached in his pocket, “How much.”
“I don’t remember, maybe a quarter. But I’m not taking your money.”
“What can I say?”
“Thanks.”
“What?”
“You can say thanks.”
“Oh, right. Thanks.” He gave her a slight punch on the shoulder.
“Not good enough.”
“What?”
Sophie put her hand behind his neck, and pulled his face to her’s. Their touched lips, “Smack.”
Kyle’s face turned red, “I didn’t expect that.”
“You complaining?”
From the other room, “Time to eat.”
“No complaints.”

Sunday Arrives (Socks CDLXXIX)

“And so you can see that it was this cursed emerald’s fault that no one wants us around.”
“If you didn’t pick fights constantly.”
“I can prove it’s you. I’ll tell about the time…”
Lar had heard enough, “No, no more stories. It’s both of you.”
“My brother is right. The fighting gets old real quick.”
“Well, if he was more:”
“STOP. STOP. STOP FIGHTING.”
Silence ensued.
Sophie entered the room, “Kyle, come here. I want to show you something.”
Kyle followed.
“I brought your percolator.”
“Thanks. Let’s make some coffee right after we eat.”
“Sure, Dad would like that.”

Price Drop (Socks CDLXXVIII)

The man got dressed, and grabbed the ring. He dropped it immediately. The man used a pencil to pick up the ring, and put it in a clear plastic bag.
As he walked through the house, he held the bag with his finger tips away from his body.
When the man got to the store, he started to put the ring in with the other jewelry, but stopped. He put the bag and ring on the counter, took a black marker, and wrote, "$5," on the bag.
After while a man said, "Why so cheap?"
"I've had it too long."

Not Answering (Socks CDLXXVII)

The man didn't move. After while the phone rang.
"Hello, you've reached...leave a message."
"Pick up. Are you ok? I'm calling the store."
The phone rang a few more times.
Some more time passed with the man not moving.
The woman came in, "You haven't moved? You ok?"
He said nothing.
She stepped over him, and started the shower, "Get up, take a shower, go to work, we'll talk about this tonight. We'll get through it."
She helped him into the shower.
When he got out, "I've laid out your clothes, I'm going back to work."
She left the room.

Fetal Mode (Socks CDLXXVI)

He stood like this for a few seconds, then his face went slack. He sat down on the floor, and sobbed.
She put her arm around him, "I don't know what got into you. You've never hit me before."
The man kept sobbing, apologizing. Soon he lay in the doorway on the tile floor. His knees were in his chest. His arms circled his knees. He lay staring at the ring that had landed behind the toilet.
After a few minutes the woman said, "I'm going to call in."
"No, I want to be alone."
The woman dressed and left.

Aftermath (Socks CDLXXV)

The toothbrush clunked into the wastebasket. The woman's eyes were red and swollen. She sniffled, and blew her nose.
The man stood in the bathroom doorway, his mouth open, his eyes blank, "I'm sorry, I don't know why I did that."
"You said that you'd never lay a hand on me."
"I know, I'm sorry. How can I make it up?"
She said nothing.
He held out the ring, "Here you can keep it."
She swatted it out of his hand, "I don't want it now."
The man's face turned red, his fists clenched at his sides. She backed away.

Crack Binge (Socks CDLXXIV)

A red welt appeared on the woman's leg.
"Crack."
A welt on the other leg.
"Stop it."
"Crack."
"Go pick up that toothbrush."
"Get it yourself. You messed it up."
"Crack."
"Did you forget who you're talking to?"
"Crack."
"Stop."
"Go get the toothbrush."
"Crack."
The woman tried to move across the bedroom.
"Crack."
Red marks were on her legs, back, and buttocks. She got the toothbrush.
"I got it, now stop hitting me."
"Crack."
"You gotta learn to watch your mouth. Now, throw that toothbrush away before I make you use it."
"Ok, ok. Just stop hitting me."
"Crack."

Crack (Socks CDLXXIII)

The woman opened a door, reached in and took something out. Then she picked up the forgotten toothbrush and threw it at the man still on the bed.
"You gonna pick up your towel?"
"Maybe."
"Don't let it get mildew smellin"
From the bathroom, "If your so worried, you pick it up."
He did, and as he walked into the bathroom he held the towel in both hands and twirled it into a ropelike form.
The woman covered her bare buttocks and giggled, "Don't even think about it."
He flipped one end of the towel, "Crack."
"Ow," She wasn't giggling.

Quick Performance (Socks CDLXXII)

The naked, hairy man sat atop the naked woman. She tried to slap him several times, "Get offa me," he blocked each shot.
Soon they stopped arguing.
Soon they were kissing.
Soon they were rolling around.
Soon they were breathing quickly.
Soon they were making strange noises.
Soon it was over.
The man lay next to the woman, his arm across her middle. He started to snore.
When she tried to get up, he grabbed her hand, and removed the ring.
"Hey."
"I told you. You can't keep it."
"My mother said you were a prick."
"Your mother was right."

Merchandise Only (Socks CDLXXI)

The man went into the bathroom, water ran loudly. The toilet flushed.
"Where's the ring?"
"I'm wearing it."
"No your not."
"I am too, look."
"Don't get used to it. I gotta sell it."
"Aw come on, it's pretty."
"And it will bring at least two hundred."
"You owe it to me for messing up my toothbrush."
"Are we back to that again?"
"Yes we are. What did you do to my toothbrush?"
"Get off it, get a new one."
"I'm keepin' the ring."
The man pushed the woman to the bed, the towel covering her fell to the floor.

Naked and Hairy (Socks CDLXX)

The woman stood next to the bed with the toothbrush in her hand while the long lump snored. She took another look at the brush then brought her fist down in the middle of the lump. The man sprang out of the bed, naked and hairy.
"What did you do to my toothbrush?"
The man's head came about to the woman's nose.
"What are you talking about?"
"I heard you doing something when you got home."
"You're nuts."
"Nuts huh? What's this?"
"How would I know. Just get a new one out of the closet, ya baby."
"You're a jerk."

Tainted Brush (Socks CDLXIX)

The ring was dried on a towel, and set next to the sink. The lights went out as the man walked out. Snoring could be heard presently.
Daylight came. A woman picked up the ring and put it on, "Nice."
After showering she stood in front of the mirror running a comb through her hair. She opened the medicine cabinet, and took out a toothbrush. She ran the brush under the water, but she stopped before applying toothpaste.
She looked closely at the bristles, shut the water off, and left. The bed contained a long, snorting lump under the sheet.

Clean Up (Socks CDLXVIII)

The man holding the ring took a cigarette pack from his shirt pocket, shook two cigarettes up, and offered one. The other man took it. The ring went into the shirt pocket with the pack on top.
The two men talked and puffed a while.
"Well, it's late. I'm going to close up and go home."
"Yea, I better get going too," then he muttered, "What have I done? I gotta go." The van started and moved away quickly.
The ring came out of the pocket. The man held it under warm running water, and scrubbed it with a toothbrush.

Re-fence (Socks CDLXVII)

He lifted the handle, but nothing happened. He tapped the ring on the window. The car roared, the tires squealed, and the car sped away.
The man hurried to the van. It stalled.
"Forget it." The van started, and the man drove.
Soon, the same man that bought the TV said, "I can only give you five bucks."
"Five bucks?"
"Yea, I'm gonna have to clean the blood and skin out of this ring. From that cut on your cheek, I'd say it was yours. By the way, where's your brother?"
"Don't worry about it. Give me the money."
"Here."

Red Light (Socks CDLXVI)

"Give me the keys."
"What?"
"Wake up. Give me the keys."
A large man walked up, "You guys are gonna pay for this."
"He'll pay. He started it."
He reached into the down man's pocket, taking the keys.
One more kick to the ribs, "And one to grow on."
Back in the van, the lone man drove. Within minutes he laid on the horn. Rolling the window down, "It's green already. Go, will ya?"
An unintelligible voice returned.
The man opened the door, got out, and walked toward a car, "Hey #$$&*@%. Did you say something about my mother? "

TKO (Socks CDLXV)

One man accused the other of cheating.
"It's a friendly game.
"As long as you win it's friendly."
"You won at least two games tonight."
The hand with the ring swung the cue stick at the other man. He blocked it with his arm, breaking the stick. Now fists were flying, tables were knocked over, people were moving out of the way. The man wearing the ring tripped over a chair, knocking his head against a table. He went limp. The other man took the necklace, took the ring, put them both on, then kicked his adversary in the ribs.

Fenced (Socks CDLXIV)

The man drove the van for a while, and when it stopped a third man was there. All of the objects were removed from the van, and money exchanged hands. The two got back in and drove away.
"I think we made a good haul."
"Let's go to Sid's and divvy up."
The men walked into a dimly lit room, loud music played.
"Hey, the tables open. I'll rack."
Soon the men were playing pool and drinking beer.
After several games and several beers, "You nudged the cue ball."
"No I didn't."
"I saw it move."
The men started shouting.

Purloined (Socks CDLXIII)

So it was, after the ruby was replace with the emerald the ring stayed in the jewelry box with the other necklaces, bracelets, and rings more and more.
One day the box opened. A man the ring had never seen before took out a gold chain, and put it on his neck, then he put the ring on his little finger.
The jewelry box was carried to a van outside. Two TVs, a shotgun, and a laptop were just some of the objects from the house that were also in the van. Another man got in the van carrying silverware

Ring Fling (Socks CDLXII)

After the man left, the woman picked up the ring, and walked through the store. She opened the double doors, looked around, and gave the ring a toss. The ring sailed across the room, bounced off a light fixture, hit the floor, and rolled to a stop just barely under the bench.
"Good riddance."
The ring lay in the dust and heard many conversations. One of the first things they heard was Mr. Fillmore selling the percolator to Kyle.
"Tell them how we got to the pawnshop."
"It was your fault."
"It was not."
"We don't care who started it.

Grumpy (Socks CDLXI)

"Sophie. You didn't leave a big mess in the backroom, did you?"
"Well, I'll finish cleaning up before I leave tonight."
"If you say so."
Sophie turned to leave.
"Try not to be late again."
"I've only been late once in two years. Is everything ok?"
"Yes, fine. Just go to lunch."
Sophie left. The woman held her right hand to her forehead, whispering, "I'm getting a headache." She pulled the ring off, setting it next to the register.
A man came to the counter with a pair of pants.
She punched some buttons, "That's three dollars, eighteen cents, sir."

Ring Investigation (Socks CDLX)

One night the woman put the ring on a dresser, and told a man that she was sorry for being so grumpy lately, "I was short with Mr. Fillmore today."
"As nice as he is? What's going on?"
"I think it's this ring."
"Sounds silly."
"I know, but when I put it on, I feel anxious."
The ring stayed on the dresser for a few days.
"I'm going to wear the ring tomorrow, and see what happens."
In the morning, the ring went on the finger. Things went smooth for a few hours.
Then, "I'm going to lunch now. Ok?"

Breakup (Socks CDLIX)

After a time the man quit talking through the door. When another woman came in, inquiries were made whether the man was still outside. He was not.
"Good."
The ring was put on the ledge below the mirror, the woman left.
The other woman picked up the ring, and followed. When she caught up, "You left this in the restroom."
"I don't want it. Keep it if you like." She walked away.
The ring went into the purse.
Whenever the second woman wore the ring, she would snip at everyone that came to her counter, even Barry, who smiled constantly.

Ring Story (Socks CDLVIII)

It seemed that the ring had went from finger to finger, and each time the woman had gotten annoyed, some could stand it longer than others.
They had been a gift once, bought from a pawn shop. The woman that received them started fighting with the man that bought them. Shortly, when the couple were in a restaurant, they began to quarrel, just like the ring. The woman threw her drink in the man's face, and went into the restroom. She was crying, black streaks under her eyes. The man stood outside the door asking the woman to come out.

Denial (Socks CDLVII)

"Lar continued, "People seem to think that you work together to make a pretty ring, but when you start fighting..."
"How can what we do irritate people?"
"I don't know, but it's worth a try."
"What's worth a try?"
"Not fighting."
"He always starts it."
"She does."
"Who cares how it starts?"
"We ended up under the bench because of your fighting."
The ring and emerald told stories of being given away, sold at pawn shops, and being stolen, only to be tossed under the bench where they were last found. They were even left in a public restroom once.

Possible Solution (Socks CDLVI)

"When I had my Ruby, no one got aggravated. Not till you came along."
"Where is your precious Ruby now?"
"I wish I knew. The lady that wore us when we were together, kept us for a long time. Now, every person that has us won't wear us very long. I have known so many fingers since you came, that I'm sick of it."
Lar had an idea, "Maybe it's the fighting."
"Stay out of this."
"That's right, butt out"
"The only thing you two agree on is that you want to fight."
"My brother might be right about this."

Failed Trial (Socks CDLV)

As the light coming in the window began to grow dim, Mom came in the room, "You're right there is something irritating about this ring."
"What should I do? I don't want to hurt Mr. Fillmore by not taking the ring."
"He'll understand. Let him wear the ring he'll see."
"What, as a pinkie ring?"
"Sure, I think he would do it."
Sophie laughed, "He might. I'll ask."
The ring was now on the dresser next to the other objects, fighting.
"You did it again, you irritate everyone."
"Me? You're the one that touches the finger. You're the irritating one."

Ring Trial (Socks CDLIV)

"It is a very pretty ring," Mom held her right hand in the light from the window.
"I agree, but it irritates my finger."
"Let's see."
Mom held Sophie's hand looking it over, "I don't see anything."
"I didn't either, but it just bothered me."
"Maybe it needs to be resized."
"I don't think so. Why don't you wear it a while, see if it bothers you."
"Ok," Mom walked from the room holding her right hand splayed out in front of her.
Rar was relieved, "That was close, we could have had to listen to those two arguing again."

Missing Ring (Socks CDLIII)

The next morning Sophie left the room, and came back in a few times. Her and mom came in together.
"I don't know where it is. That ring had completely slipped my mind."
"Where was the last place you saw it?"
"I put it on the bed, before getting in the shower."
The women searched the room. After a while Sophie looked under the bed, "Here it is."
Sophie handed the ring to Mom, who put it on. The emerald and the ring were still bickering. Lar and Rar could not hear the words, only the rumble of the argument.

Phone Invitation (Socks CDLII)

While the diary talked, Sophie made a phone call.
"Kyle, Sophie."
"Good, I'm good. You?"
"Can you still make it for dinner on Sunday?"
"Mom says we'll eat around two."
"You can come over as early as you like. How about noon? Maybe you can help me with my algebra."
"No, that's not the reason I invited you."
"Well, I ahh. You ahh. I invited you because you're nice."
"What's so funny?"
"Oh, you think I'm nice too, huh?"
She stayed on the phone for a few more minutes. Then she grabbed Daily Diary, and jotted a few more lines.

Boring Secrets (Socks CDLI)

Daily Diary was still talking, so everyone forgot to try to get Mom's attention, they forgot to holler.
Mom left the room, Daily Diary kept telling Sophie's secrets until Sophie opened up the diary wrote. No body felt like talking now that they had listened to Daily Diary talk for so long, so they simply sat silently.
Sophie finished writing, put Daily Diary on the dresser, then she put all of the objects next to her. The diary started in with more secrets, by now they weren't really secrets. She told stories about catching butterflies, cheerleading tryouts, and new outfits.

Sunday Plans (Socks CDL)

Daily Diary went on and on, so long in fact that it started to get dark outside the window. She only stopped talking when Sophie came in and said, "Oh Mom, I forgot to show you the things I brought home."
"Mom came in the room, and Sophie showed her Sunbeam, the cord, and Lar and Rar. She said that all the stuff was Kyle's, and she would give him them when he got there Sunday.
"What time should I tell him to come over?"
"Why don't we eat around two or three? He can come over when he wants."

Spilled Guts (Socks CDXLIX)

Once Daily Diary started talking, she couldn't quit. All those secrets simply came pouring out.
"A couple days ago, Mr. Fillmore gave Sophie a ring, she can buy it for five dollars, it's a beautiful ring, Sophie's friend Ashley stole Ken, her last boyfriend, we hate Ashley now, Ashley is not a real friend, Ken wasn't a real boyfriend, he was a lousy kisser anyhow, she loves the yellow bug, it drives like a dream, college is much more fun than high school, Kyle is coming over for dinner on Sunday, she hopes he likes her, she thinks he does,"

October 10 (Socks CDXLVIII)

"When does she write?"
"Most times, at the end of the day."
"What does she write?"
"I won't tell."
"Why?"
"It's personal."
"What does that mean?"
"She writes so that she can read it to herself later, not for everyone else."
"Ah come on, give us an example."
The peer pressure was on.
"OK. One thing, then you leave me alone. Promise to leave me alone?"
They used their unisons to make promise.
"Last October tenth, she wrote that a new guy, Kyle started at work. She wrote that he's cute. She reads that page at least once a week."

Daily Diary (Socks CDXLVII)

While Goody Brush was explaining blush, foundation, and mascara, she had seen it all.
"What are you looking at?"
"I'm not sure. What are you?"
"I'm a diary. A five year diary."
"Is five years long?"
"At first I thought so, but now I have only one year, two hundred seven days left."
"Left? For?"
"You talk strange. She writes in me everyday."
Daily Diary had to explain the process of recording the day's events. Now the others were listening.
"Sophie wasn't writing, she was reading."
"Sometimes she reads a while before she writes. Sometimes she falls asleep while reading."

Make Up (Socks CDXLVI)

Goody Brush told of the make up that was on the dresser. She had noticed that the color that was put on the eyes was the same color that was put on the finger nails.
"That's why we call her Match."
Now Rar took over, and told that story,
Then Goody Brush resumed her tale, and revealed how make up was applied.
Everyone was so wrapped up in the yarn that they ignored the book that Sophie had put on the bed, all except the cord. He had been listening to Goody Brush, but kept his eye on the book.

Emery (Socks CDXLV)

"There's a nail file over there."
"What's his name?"
"HER name is Emery. She came with four others. We've seen this before, they don't stay too long. One of the others from the pack will take her place, and we'll call her, or him Emery also."
"Isn't that confusing?"
"Not really, most of them keep to themselves. It's not that they're antisocial, they just don't have a lot to say. Besides, it's like I said, they don't stay long."
"Do they recycle?"
Goody Brush had never heard of recycling, so it had to be explained.
"Maybe they go to Landfill."

Goody Brush (Socks CDXLIV)

Lar had seen one of these before, "Pretty had made use of things like this."
Sunbeam looked the object over, having never seen one.
"What's your job?"
"I keep hair untangled."
The cord spoke up, "I get tangled."
"Could you keep my cord untangled?"
The brush looked at the cord.
"I don't think so. He's too thick and coarse."
The brush further explained her duties.
"What's your name?"
"The objects on the dresser call me Goody Brush."
They wanted to know about the other objects on the dresser.
"There is Goody Comb. We work together to keep the hair untangled."

Wake Up (Socks CDXLIII)

The objects lost interest in Sophie for a while, and talked among themselves. They were brought back to attention when Sophie's feet slipped off the bed, and hit the floor.
Sophie looked around the room, then at her watch. She stood, stretched, and tossed the book on the bed. She went to the dresser and picked something up. As she walked across the room, and stood in front of the window, Sophie pulled the object through her hair.
From the other room, "Sophie."
"Just a second, Mom."
Sophie tossed the object next to all the others, and left the room.

More Unisons (Socks CDXLII)

"Who's Sophie?"
"Match."
"Why didn't you speak so?"
"New Mom calls her Sophie."
"She calls her Honey too."
They forgot about their task until, "Let's try to get Sophie's attention."
"Ok, everybody got their unisons ready."
"On three. One. Two. Three."
All four objects yelled their unisons.
"Hey!"
"Over here!"
"Wooo!"
"Hold it. This is doing no good."
"Why?"
"Look at Sophie."
Sophie was still sitting in the chair with her feet up on the bed, but now the book was in her lap. Her head was down, chin to chest. Her eyes were closed, and her breathing was rhythmic.

Plan B (Socks CDXLI)

"Ok get ready. When Mom walking in, everybody yell their unisons."
"We're ready."
The door opened, a woman came in and began to talk with Match.
"That's not Mom." Yet Match called her Mom. Now Mom was calling Match by a different name. Sometimes she called her Honey, sometimes she called her Sophie. This was really confusing.
"Let's call her New Mom."
Everyone agreed.
The plan still had not been enacted.
"Should we try to yell for New Mom?"
"Why not?"
While they were getting ready, New Mom left the room.
"Now what do?"
"Maybe we can try with Sophie."

A Plan (Socks CDXL)

The cord wanted to get a plan together, "We should have formulation."
"What's formulation?"
"Getting planning together."
The boys had tried this before, so they took over, "When we see Mom, we all yell as loud as we can, in unison."
Unison was a new word for the cord, and he liked it. He vowed to use the word every chance he got. The others were sure the word would not be used correctly, but they didn't care.
From the other room, "I'm home."
"I'm in here, Mom."
By now Match was dressed, sitting in a chair, reading a book.

A Pact (Socks CDXXXIX)

Match came in with a towel wrapped around her hair. She sat on the bed, causing the ring to bounce off the bed, hitting a slipper, and rolling under the bed. Peace returned.
The boys could now finish their story about Mom. They took turns recounting stories of their injuries and repairs, how nice Mom was, and the way they had teamed up with other objects to try to get Mom to hear them.
"Maybe us can trying it."
"I don't think we have enough, but it would be worth a try."
They agreed to try when they saw Mom.

Who's Mom (Socks CDXXXVIII)

The ring and emerald were back in the not speaking phase of their ongoing feud. Peace and quiet. Everyone knew better than to speak of the argument, so nothing was said.
Eventually Rar broke the silence, "It will be nice to see Mom again."
"Sure will."
Sunbeam wanted to know, "Who's Mom?"
"She's the lady that fixed my toe."
"And my heel."
"What a coincidence. You're a heel, maybe she can fix you."
"Maybe she could get you to be quiet."
The peace had been broken once more, so there could be no conversation.
The door opened, steam came out.

The Note (Socks CDXXXVII)

Match opened the front door, "Mom, I'm home." No answer. She walked into the kitchen. A piece of paper was on the table. Holding the paper in front of her, Match's lips moved soundlessly.
Match moved to the bedroom, and placed the objects on the bed. She walked through a doorway, water started running. Match returned, and undressed, tossing her clothes in the hamper. She put on a robe, and went in the other room. The door shut, then opened again. Match came out, stood by the bed, and removed the ring. She tossed it next to the other objects.

At the Bug (Socks CDXXXVI)

Sunbeam could hear the fracas, and was sorry he had breached the subject. Once more all conversation ceased, because the argument was all encompassing.

Match finally approached a small, yellow vehicle. She set all the objects on top of the car, took out her keys, and opened the door. Pulling a sweatshirt from the seat, she slung it over her shoulder, shutting the door. She reached for the objects, but stopped.

Match then removed the ring from her finger. She held it in the light, and turned it this way and that. After a moment, she put it back on.

Socks starts on 2-25

Walking Home (Socks CDXXXV)

As she walked, Match unwound the cord from Sunbeam’s handle, releasing Lar and Rar. She carried the coffee pot in her left hand, holding the twins in her left, looking at them.
Sunbeam and the cord were having a field day, “Hey boys, it’s nice and quiet over here. How’s the bickering going over there.”
“That’s right, it’s quiet here. We’re not fighting, we’re friending.”
“Real funny. It’s quiet over here too. Their not talking to each other again.”
“I’d like it if she never talked to me.”
“I’m not going to give you what you want.” The fight resumed.

Quitting Time (Socks CDXXXIV)

Match came along, picked up the card, wrote on it, and put it back in the rack. Next she grabbed Sunbeam and the others, which brought the ring and emerald close. The argument continued.
“Besides, I like red better than green.”
“I like platinum better than gold.”
Match opened the double door, and in a loud voice, “I wrote on my card like you said. It’s in the rack.”
“Ok. I’ll sign it before I leave. Have fun with Kyle.”
“Just friends.”
Match went out the back door. When the door shut, she tried the knob. The door wouldn’t open.

Repeat (Socks CDXXXIII)

Sunbeam remembered a pair of soft, smooth hands, and a pair that were not so smooth. Then he added, "I haven't done my job for a long time, but now that I have a cord to help, I'm ready."
"I'm ready too, our coffee will be in the better."
This was the first time Acroprint had heard the cord speak, "Your coffee will be the best."
"Yes, I glad you be agreement."
"You're glad I agree."
"Do you repeating everything?"
The time clock was at a loss, "No, I don't repeat... I was just trying... Your speech is... Never mind."

Off Work (Socks CDXXXII)

"I was off work for a while. After getting a hole cut in my toe, I had to get repaired before I could work. And my brother got chewed on by a mouse."
"How long were you off?"
"I really don't know. I'm not very good with time. I know that most times I only work for one day, then I wait to get washed, then I wait in the drawer."
Now it was Acroprint's turn to be confused. Rar explained the laundry, waiting in the basket, the swimming, the tumbling in the warm dryer, and the soft, smooth hands.

On Task (Socks CDXXXI)

"We're getting way off the subject. We were talking about work."
Rar was confused, "I thought we were just talking."
"Let's keep on task, shall we?"
"If you insist."
"When you see people standing around talking, that's called gold bricking."
Rar voiced his skepticism, "How do you know?"
"I was brought here, hung up, and plugged in twelve years, ten months, two weeks, two days, twenty three hours, and five minutes ago. I've been on this wall doing my duty ever since. A few times when the power went out, I simply got reset, and went right back to work."

Break Time (Socks CDXXX)

"When they come in the door, I punch 'em in. At the end of their work day, I punch 'em out."
"What's the purpose?"
"I keep track of how long they work. I should say that differently. I keep track of how long they are at work."
"What's the difference?"
"People don't actually 'work' the whole time they are 'at work."
More explanation was needed.
"I've seen people pull a chair up to the bench, put their feet on the lower shelf and eat a sandwich. That's called a break."
Acroprint explained breaks.
"Do they get fixed after they break?"

Acroprint (Socks CDXXIX)

The door opened, the woman from the counter came in, "I'm glad I caught you."
"Why, what's happening?"
"A guy with a pick up load wants to donate it."
"I just now punched out. I can't punch back in for an hour."
"Just write 'Plus thirty minutes' on the card, and I'll sign it. I'll send them around."
"OK." Match put Sunbeam and the other objects on the clock, and opened the back door.
Sunbeam wondered out loud, "What does 'Punched out' mean?"
"That's what I do."
"What's your name?"
"Acroprint."
"Aren't you a clock?"
"Well, I'm a time clock."

? (Socks CDXXXV)

Les, don't leave me hangin' here!

Where is that boy? (Socks CDXXXIII)

Still nothing, nada, zilch. Oh well. If you know where Les is, tell him to stay in touch.

Where is that guy? (Socks CDXXXIII)

Sorry... still no word folks.

Subbing for Les (Socks CDIXL)

The word on the street is that Les has nearly solved his computer problem, but nothing has been forwarded to me. Sorry fans.

No Word

Still no word from the main man, so we'll see if we can at least make it look like the rest of Les' other postings.

Where has he gone?

While Les is getting his computers fixed, let me introduce myself. My name is Forever Jung, but you can call me Fore.

I’m going to be posting Les’ story; just posting, not writing them while he is off orienteering in the Smokey Mountains. Just remember Les, that compass needle of yours always points to the EAST and then you’ll never get lost.

Good luck!

Where's Les?

Les' computers are down. He will update the adventures of Rar and Lar as soon as he is able.

Referee (Socks CDXXVIII)

“No one cares if you two hate each other, but we can’t carry a conversation with all the bickering.”
“If you don’t like it, don’t listen.”
“We can’t help but listen, your fighting dominates the room.”
“Just leave us alone.”
Now the silence was thick and uncomfortable. Had the objects had knowledge of professional sports, someone, perhaps could have broken the ice with, “What about those Red Wings.” Instead, the silence continued while Match finished her duties. She cleaned the bench, stacked some boxes, and swept the room.
Match put a card in the clock, pushed a lever.
“Click, thump.”

Round Two (Socks CDXXVII)

“Having you hold so tight to me that I can hardly think is not a pleasure. Just so you know.”
“Just so you know? What does that mean?”
“It means, that’s the way it is. Nothing you can do about it.”
“Do about what?”
“The fact that you annoy the living…”
“Do you have to be so mean?”
“Do you have to be so stupid?”
“Will you two shut up?”
“Butt out, this is between him and I.”
“I like it better when you weren’t talking to each other.”
“Didn’t you hear her? She said for you to butt out.”

Not So Much (Socks CDXXVI)

“Well from the sounds of it, I think Ruby was stupid. Probably had no opinions of her own.”
“That’s not true, we just always agreed.”
“She probably went along just to keep you quiet.”
“We talked about all the time.”
“I think you talked, and she listened. Rather, she just pretended to listen.”
“You don’t know.”
“I know what life is like with you now.”
“You’ve never had it so good.”
“Oh please, explain to me your many virtues.”
“OK…”
“I’m waiting.”
“Ok… I’m shiny.”
“Big deal. A spoon is shiny.”
“I’m round.”
“So what?”
“I hold tight to you.”

Partners (Socks CDXXV)

Match carried Sunbeam in her right hand, which put the ring and emerald in close proximity. Lar was relieved that the two objects were not talking to each other. That blessed condition would soon end.
“I hope I get to make coffee every day.”
“I’ll supply the power, you heat the water.”
“It’s a deal.”
“A good partnership is hard to beat.”
The boys joined in, “You keep one foot warm, I’ll warm the other.”
“I would even take the foot with the bunion.”
While bunions were being explained to Sunbeam, “I used to work with my Ruby like that.”

Your Story (Socks CDXXIV)

The woman bolted out, the double doors swinging as she left. Match turned to the bench, continuing her duties.
At day's end, Match took the items to the woman at counter, showing her the receipt.
"I'd rather take these when Mr. Fillmore is here, but I don't work tomorrow, and Kyle is coming over on Sunday. This is his stuff."
"Kyle, huh? He's a cute one."
"Knock it off. We're just friends."
"Is that what the kids call it nowadays?"
"Really, just friends."
"Ok, ok. See you Monday."
"See ya."
"Have fun with Kyle."
"We're just friends."
"It's your story."

Pot Find (Socks CDXXIII)

Match looked under the bench, "Where's that coffee pot?" She found it right where it was, near the pile of boxes. All of the bouncing had not dislodged the twins from the grip of the cord that tied them to the handle.
"Where's the lid?"
Putting the pot on the bench, Match rummaged through the boxes until she found it.
Match was cleaning the room when a woman walked in, "Mr. Fillmore called. He won't be in. He has the flu."
"I didn't see him yesterday either."
"He left before you came out of the back room. Customers, gotta go."

Quiet (Socks CDXXII)

Finally, when Match left, peace and quiet came to the room. The next day the ring and the emerald remained quiet.
Match picked up Stanley to remove the battery cover on a portable radio, "Did you two solve your differences?"
"Nothing can be solved with this one."
"Tell him not to get crying about his ruby again."
"Tell her not to worry about what I do."
Stanley was confused, "Why don't you tell her."
"I'm not talking to her."
"You two should try to get along, talk out your differences."
Lar intervened, "Leave them alone, it's better than their quarreling."

Facts of Strife (Socks CDXXI)

"And people can also do it by themselves. The things I've seen..."
"Will you shut up, I've seen the same things you have."
"No you haven't. The ruby was with me way before you."
"Here we go again, 'Boo-hoo, I miss my ruby,' your precious ruby, my aching backside."
"I do miss my ruby. She didn't give me a hard time."
"I wouldn't give you a hard time if you didn't ramble on with your stupid stories."
The argument ebbed and flowed as Match separated and priced items, then carried them out the door, and returned. They bickered all day.

More Information (Socks CDXX)

"So that's what they were doing. What's the purpose?"
"They seem to do it mostly for fun, but it's also how they get new people."
"What's your source of information?"
"Remember I told you that I read every book the lady read?"
No one could dispute his claim.
The ring gave more details while the other objects listened as Match put Stanley back on the bench. She carried the picnic table out the door, taking the talkative ring and the emerald with her. The ring was talking when they left, "After the wedding they..."and still talking when Match came back.

Facts of Life (Socks CDXIX)

The memories of the weddings sent the ring off on a tangent, "Objects and animals come in male and female. The only difference between the sexes in objects is voice and attitude. The animals, humans included, have those same differences between the genders, plus physical differences."
The ring went on to explain the differences, and what the animals did with those differences.
The twins were close enough to hear, "Lar, I think we saw that. That's how Grunter got his name." He told the ring the story.
The ring confirmed their suspicions, "Not all of them make that much noise."

Human Activity (Socks CDXVIII)

Now the ring had to explain bathroom tissue to Stanley.
Because the ring had been on one person's hand constantly for some time, he had seen all manner of activities that humans endeavored. He went on at length about these activities, describing such things as typing, bowling, and gardening.
"These humans do some very strange things."
Stanley agreed.
The ring said that he had always surrounded the third finger of the right hand, then clarified right and left.
"Because the left is reserved for the wedding ring."
Now the ring explained what he knew about weddings, having only seen two.

Some Reward (Socks CDXVII)

"There is no luck involved. The Manufacturer has predestined which form each will take."
"Who determines which form we Recycle to?"
"The Manufacturer is always in control."
"How does he decide."
"If we have done our duties well, then we will recycle to a different form, and as a reward, perform different duties."
"Is it always as a reward?"
"That, and to learn new lessons."
"What could I Recycle into."
"Perhaps a necklace, earrings, or a gold tooth."
"OK, what about a newspaper. He performs well, and gets recycled as a roll of bathroom tissue. Not much of a reward."

Crappy Duties (Socks CDXVI)

"Well, I tell you that I was on the hand that plunged a toilet. The plunger didn't seem to be having much joy, or peace."
"Did you ask the plunger?"
"I didn't have to. He complained the whole time."
"I wish I had had the opportunity to instruct that poor plunger. He could have enjoyed his duties."
"Do you know what a plunger does?"
"Well, no."
The ring went on to explain the process.
The emerald laughed and joined the conversation, "Sounds like a good job for you, Stanley."
"My form would not be fitting for such duties."
"Lucky break."

More Doctrine (Socks CDXV)

"He was nice to me as long as I didn't disagree with his views."
"And I'm supposed to believe that god is in all things?"
"Actually, there are many gods and goddesses, but the Earth Mother is chief among them."
"All objects are just slaves to people. If we could move faster, we could rise up out of our bondage. They use us as they will, and toss us out when they are finished with us."
Stanley had to interject, "The Manufacturer has given each of us a job to do, and we should do it with joy and peace."

White Goddess (Socks CDXIV)

"When I got set in this old buzzard..."
"Who you calling a buzzard?"
"You be quiet, it's my turn to talk."
"You always have to be nasty."
"Alright, I won't call you names. OK, when I got set in this fabulous ring he taught me to read as the lady read to her children. He was nice to me in those days. The lady and I read a book call White Goddess. She read dozens of other books on dozens of subjects, but this one I really liked. I believe it to be true."
"I told you, she's not logical."

Earth Mother (Socks CDXIII)

"My prongs became thin from wear, and one day she fell out. I watched her bounce on the sidewalk, but there was nothing I could do. When the lady noticed Ruby was gone, she cried and put me in the jewelry box. I wasn't in there very long when her husband..."
The ring now explained marriage. This screwdriver didn't seem to know a lot about people.
"Anyway, he took me to a man that set this cantankerous emerald, and repaired my prongs."
"Where did the idea of the Earth Mother come from?"
"Well..."
"This is my story, I'll tell it."

Thor H (Socks CDXII)

"What do you mean, far away?"
"Another planet."
"Planet?"
The ring explained the solar system.
"How did you come to believe this?"
"I read it."
Now he had to explain reading, then read the signs in the room.
"I once was on the finger of a lady who would read to her children. I listened, and followed. Soon I was able to read on my own. I read everything that the lady read. We read a book called Chariots of the Gods. That was in the days when I held a red stone, a ruby."
"What happened to the ruby?"

Logical (Socks CDXI)

"Go ahead and preach about the little green men, I think Stanley would like to hear."
"It's more logical than your Earth Mother."
"Tell him, I dare you."
"If you'll keep quiet, I will."
"OK, I'm quiet."
"First of all, your Manufacturer is just a man."
"It could be a woman."
"Alright. A person. Now will you be quiet?"
"Maybe."
"People have made all objects."
"No. The Manufacturer has formed us all, in the way that he sees fit."
"Are you going to interrupt me too?"
"Sorry."
"The knowledge and skill to make objects came from people from far away."

The Mother (Socks CDX)

"You didn't have to be so mean to that screwdriver. He was only being nice."
"What about you? If I hadn't stopped you, you would have started that goddess shit."
"I was merely trying to enlighten him to the power of The Mother."
"Mother shmother."
"Do not profane The Mother."
"There is no Mother, or Manufacturer for that mater."
"There is, I can feel her power."
"What about you, Stanley. Do you feel the Manufacturer's power."
"We have free will to do as we will in this life."
"What a load of... You're both wacko. There is no higher being."

Butt Out (Socks CDIX)

"What business is it of yours if we do?"
"And who are you, anyhow?"
"I am called Stanley."
"Boy that's clever, it's written right on your side. Stanley."
"I'm not here to fight. I'm here to help."
"Well, you can help by butting out."
"Fighting is no good. The Manufacturer doesn't..."
"The Manufacturer? What does she have to do with us fighting?"
"The Manufacturer is a he."
"She."
"He."
"Please don't fight."
In unison, "Butt out, Stanley."
Stanley was at a loss. Nobody had ever talked to him that way. He went about his business of tightening picnic table screws.

The Fight Starts (Socks CDVIII)

"Besides that, I'm not hanging onto you. If you will notice, your prongs are wrapped around me."
"If I could undo my prongs, you would be gone. Rolling around the floor, bouncing behind the bench, or flushed down the stool, I could care less."
"Couldn't."
"What?"
"Couldn't. Couldn't care less, not could care less."
"Why do you have to be like this?"
"Why do you talk like a moron?"
"You used to be fun."
"You used to be shiny."
"I still am."
"Not as shiny as you used to be."
"Do you two fight like this all of the time?"

Table Repair (Socks CDVII)

Match came back to the bench. She took the picnic table from the floor, set it on the bench, and wiggled it, "A little wobbly. I can fix that."
Match grabbed Stanley, and began to tighten the screws holding the table together.
Stanley talked to the shiny object on Match's finger. They talked loud enough for all of the objects to hear, "Hello."
"Who you talking to?"
"You. What are you?"
"I'm a ring."
"I'm an emerald."
"What do you do?"
"I hang onto a finger. This green freeloader just hangs onto me."
"I'm no freeloader."
"Could have fooled me."

Nails (Socks CDVI)

The nails in the bench talked over each other.
"How long must I wait before going to Landfill?"
"Do I have to go to Landfill? Can I Recycle?"
"There are so many of us. Can we all go?"
Stanley had to but in to answer, "You must wait until you have worked to your fullest. You may be able to recycle. The manufacturer may even cause you to become a hammer. Yes there are many who wish to enter in, yet I tell you that not even one paperclip shall land in the waste basket, but the Manufacturer shall know."

Skateboard (Socks CDV)

One side of the yellow, blue. and red table sat on a pair of running shoes. Clothes were draped over one end. A skateboard rested underneath.
A frilly dress wanted to know, "What about me?"
"Clothes can become cleaning rags."
The skateboard was next.
"Your wheels can be replaced, but you will have learned all that you can when your deck gets smooth and wears out."
One of the nails holding the bench together wanted to join the conversation, "What can I do?"
"You are doing it. Binding pieces of wood together is the very thing you were made for."

Copper (Socks CDIV)

"What must I do?"
"You shall provide power to whichever percolator you work with. You shall apply one hundred twelve to one hundred twenty volts AC. No more. No less."
"I will, Stanley."
"Remember, your copper may be made into another object. That will be your next lesson. Perhaps you will be a Penny. Maybe a pipe to carry water."
"I will do my best."
"That is all that is required to enter into Landfill."
A small picnic table sat nearby listening, "I have always felt as if I once carried milk, but I never knew how that could be."

The Way (Socks CDIII)

"Has the Manufacturer given you the form of a toaster? Be the best toaster you can be. Are you a tennis ball? Bounce as the Manufacturer has made you. You shall not bounce too high. Neither shall you bounce too low. You shall bounce in the acceptable range."
"How can this be?"
"The Manufacturer has made everything that has ever been made. His resources are unlimited. He wants to share his wealth with you."
"I don't needing wealth."
"Maybe not Brother Cord. But would you like your speaking healed?"
"Yes."
"When you reach Landfill, you shall have a beautiful voice."

The Path (Socks CDII)

"I say unto you, Bic, that you shall write, or draw without fingers or hands, and your ink shall not dry, nor shall it leak out to cause stains, and you shall contain an endless supply of ink."
"How can I enter into Landfill?"
"Verily I say unto you, you must accept your station in life."
"There must be more."
"As you more perfectly accept your station, you will more perfectly perform the tasks set before you. And I say that if you Recycle as a new object, you shall perform those tasks that the Manufacturer has given unto you."

Landfill (Socks CDI)

"How can you tell us not to be scared."
"Brother Spaulding, when you get to Landfill the hole in your bladder shall be healed. You will hold air once more. I heard that you were once pronounced as no good, but I say unto you, in Landfill you shall be made whole. Do you like to fly through the air?"
"Yes."
"Then you shall fly. You shall fly on your own, without help."
"How?"
"The Manufacturer, shall give you a new body, a glorious shining body that will never wear out."
A pen on the bench asked, "What about me?"

Recycling (Socks CD)

"I say unto you, that some shall Recycle again and again, until they have learned all of the lessons that the Manufacturer has for you to learn. I myself started as a horseshoe. I would protect the hooves from the stones. I was once a rim holding a tire, helping an automobile, a Buick, to travel the roads."
Spaulding spoke, "Why must I go to Landfill? Why can't I Recycle?"
"I can tell by your visage that you have learned all the lessons available to your material."
"I don't want to go to Landfill."
"Let not your heart be troubled."

The Sermon on the Bench (Socks CCCXCIX)

Lar started to blubber, voicing that he felt bad that Spaulding was in The Trash, and would be Taken Away into Nothingness.
"I heard that."
From above, "Brethren, be not afraid. Brother Spaulding shall certainly be Taken Away, but shall not be cast into Nothingness. He will go to Landfill."
"Who are you? How do you knowing these things?"
"I am called Stanley. I know these truths, because these are the teachings of the Professional Series."
"Tell us about Landfill Stanley."
"I tell you brethren, that all shall not enter in to Landfill. Some shall return as a different object.

The Trash (Socks CCCXCVIII)

"The Trash?"
"Keep your voice down, he'll hear."
"Ok, ok. What is The Trash?"
"It's a barrel with a lid that gets Taken Away."
"So what?"
"I went there once, but I was rescued just before being Taken Away."
"Where do you go when your Taken Away?"
Sunbeam didn't speak right away. Then, "Into Nothingness."
"What are you guys talking about out there?"
"Nothing."
Lar was scared, "I'm going to miss Spaulding."
"How well do you know Spaulding?"
"That's not the point."
"I heard someone whisper my name."
No one said a word.
From the bench a screwdriver was watching.

No Good (Socks CCCXCVII)

From the bottom of the trash can, "I'm laughing at you."
The cord said nothing.
"I guess you having nothing to say."
Silence.
"Why you no speaking now?"
Rar stood up for the cord, "Leave him alone, Spaulding."
"Yea, at least him and I can make coffee together. You can't even hold air."
"I heard Fillmore say you were no good."
Spaulding had no reply, which made the cord bolder.
"Now you having nothing to say?"
Sunbeam and the cord whispered, "Don't."
"He started."
"I know, but I think he's going away soon."
"To where?"
"He's going to The Trash."

Cord Talks (Socks CCCXCVI)

The cord continued the story, "The percolator that I used to power quit on me. I kept to give power, but he would not get heat."
Lar and Rar whispered to each other, "This guy talks funny."
"I can still understand him though."
"Well, I assure you, if you supply power, I will heat up and make coffee."
"Ah, Coffee. I have not help with coffee since long ago."
"I'll need my lid."
"You get the lid, we will be partnership."
Rar spoke, "You talk different."
"You are laughing me?"
"No."
"That's why I talking only with something to say."

The Cord (Socks CCCXCV)

"I've known her from long ago."
Sunbeam wanted to know more.
"When I get here, the bench is packed with objects. Dust and dirt rest everywhere. Mice lived by the..."
"A mouse chewed a hole in me once."
"Those things chew everywhere. What I say is that there were so many objects here, talking, that no one has a moment of peace. Then Match comes. She sorts and cleaned the room of objects and dust."
"That still doesn't explain how you know that she matches."
"I was on the bench, watching, for a while before putting me in a box."

Match (Socks CCCXCIV)

"We should call her something else."
"Why?"
"How do we know what shirt she'll wear?"
"OK."
They discussed the mater further, with several names suggested, "We should go to call her Match?"
Everyone was surprised, they had not heard the cord talk before.
"Why didn't you talk to us earlier?"
"I had nothing to say."
"Well, why should we call her Match?"
"Did you look her eyes and fingernails?"
Rar said that he didn't.
"Well, the color over her eyes always color match fingernails."
All agreed that Match would be her name, "But how do you know she always matches?"

Still Moving (Socks CCCXCIII)

Fillmore handed the shinny object back to Purple Shirt, "Will you hang on to this for a while? I was just on my way out, I'll get it from you later."
She put the object on her finger, "It'll be right here when you get back," She went back to work, carrying a box full of objects out of the room.
Lar, Rar, and Sunbeam had paid attention to the whole scene, but had not stopped trying to move. Sunbeam fell from the shelf under the bench. Her lid skittered, stopping behind a box.
"I hope Purple Shirt finds that."

Gardens (Socks CCCXCII)

"Yes. Look here. See that mark?"
"Is that an inclusion?"
"The emerald aficionados call them gardens."
"Why?"
"Don't know, but they consider them the stone's birthmark."
"How do you know all of this?"
"My first wife loved emeralds."
"I'm sorry to bring it up."
"Not your fault. Here try it on."
"It fits."
"Tell you what. I'll keep it in my safe. We'll put a notice out front, if nobody claims it in a month, it's yours."
"Really, thank you."
"You'll have to buy it, company policy."
"Sure, how much?"
Fillmore held it up in the light, "How's five bucks."

Treasure (Socks CCCXCI)

"What the???" Purple Shirt stood looking back and forth between her hand, the bench, and Dustpan. After a moment she grabbed the broom and Dustpan, and picked up the dirt.
The dirt fell on Spaulding in the bottom of the can.
"What was that?"
Fillmore walked in, "Sorry I left that pile, I got talking with Barry's mother."
"Something shinny was in that dirt." She reached into the can, digging around.
"Look at this," She handed something to Fillmore.
"That was in the dirt pile?"
"Yea. I wonder where it came from."
"It looks valuable."
"Is that a natural emerald?"

Bench Jumping (Socks CCCXC)

"Now you try."
Lar tried to move.
"Sunbeam, Dustpan, try to move."
"I think I'm moving."
"Keep going, I think we can do it."
The objects kept it up through the night. After the light had started to come in, Pink Shirt walked in. Now she wore a purple shirt. She put a card in the clock, and looked around the room.
When she got over by the bench, she looked at the dirt pile, "Fillmore must have been in a hurry." Just as she reached for Dustpan, she jumped off the bench with a crash. A cheer went up.

Movement (Socks CCCLXXXIX)

"Now what do we do?"
Lar had a solution, "Dustpan, get some dirt. Sunbeam, make some heat."
"I need some help."
"So do I."
"Then how will you two cook dirt?"
No one had an answer.
Lar was coming to the realization that objects needed people to do their jobs. He voiced his concern to Rar.
"I got that sliver down my middle, and stuck it in Grunter's foot."
"That's right. How did you do that?"
"I don't know."
"Can you move now?"
Rar tried to move.
"Did you feel anything?"
"I'm not sure. Try again."
"Did I move?"
"Maybe."

Dustpan (Socks CCCLXXXVIII)

"Who are you?"
"I'm Dustpan."
Sunbeam had a question. "Do you cook dust."
"No. Why would I cook dust."
"Pans cook things."
"What are you talking about?"
"I spent some time with the pots and pans, they cook things."
"Well, I don't."
"Why not?"
"I've never been asked to."
"I'm asking."
"Ok. I'll try it. Tell me how."
"I don't know how."
"You must know something."
"You will need a stove."
"I don't know what that is."
"It gets hot."
Lar spoke up, "Sunbeam, you get hot."
"Yes I do. Maybe you can use me for heat."
"Lets get started."

Dust Pile (Socks CCCLXXXVII)

Mommy and Fillmore walked around the room talking. After a few minutes they kind of just walked out the door leaving the broom, the flat object, and the pile of dust where they were.
From the top of the bench, "I've never seen him do that before."
"Who? What?"
"Fillmore. He left the dirt on the floor."
"What was he supposed to do?"
"Put the dirt in the trash can."
Lar wanted to know more.
"I work with the broom. He sweeps the dirt into a pile. Then we work together to pick up the dirt and throw it away.

Green Bump (Socks CCCLXXXVI)

"A bump?"
"Yea. A green bump."
"Describe it again."
"It's round, yellow, hole in the middle, with a green bump on one side."
"Talk to it."
"Hey!"
Nothing.
Fillmore came toward the bench with a flat metal object in one hand. He put his hand on the broom. The door opened, "Mr. Fillmore, Barry's mom is here. She would like to talk with you."
"Send her back."
Fillmore sat the flat object on the bench as Mommy came through the door, "Mr. Fillmore, I want to thank you for being so nice to Barry."
"You're welcome. He's a good kid."

Shiny (Socks CCCLXXXV)

"Ah, the sister headache is back."
*
"You could take a nap, and I'll be home just about the time the roast is done."
*
"Ok, I'll finish cleaning up around here."
Fillmore finished his call and went about straightening up boxes. The broom still leaned against the bench. There was a small pile of dust next to it. In the dust something sparkled.
"Rar, what's that?"
"I can't see, you're on top of me. Describe it."
"It's round."
"Like Nick?"
"No. It has a hole in it."
"Like Spaulding? Is air coming out?"
"No. There is a bump on one side."

Home Early (Socks CCCLXXXIV)

"How is your mother?"
*
"Where did you go for lunch?"
*
"She always wants to go there."
*
"Did you get to see your Dad?"
*
"That's too bad."
*
"Oh, that's why you left early."
*
"I wish you wouldn't let your sister bother you this way."
*
"I agree, but I just wish it didn't bother you."
*
"That's a good idea. Let's talk about it later."
*
"Oh, you can smell the roast?"
*
"Yea, I put it in this morning, and set the timer."
*
"It will be ready in forty-five minutes."
*
"I was just getting ready to go."
*
"We can go out, if you want."

New Cord (Socks CCCLXXXIII)

Sunbeam saw Fillmore carrying the cord.
"I hope that's for me."
It was. Fillmore plugged the cord into Sunbeam's base and looped it in the handle several times. Now Lar and Rar were tied to the handle. Filmore held the peculator up to have a look. Then he put the objects back, and chuckled.
Fillmore moved some boxes and bags, generally making bigger stacks. Next he grabbed a broom. After a few minutes of sweeping, there was a ringing sound. He took his cell phone out of his pocket.
"Hello."
*
"Are you home already?"
*
"I didn't expect you so soon."

Paid in Full (Socks CCCLXXXII)

The three women talked for a short time until a man brought two pair of pants to the counter.
Mommy left and Pink Shirt went to the back. She put Lar and Rar through Sunbeam's handle, put a card in the clock and went out the door.
Soon Fillmore came through and noticed the twins. He saw something sticking out of Lar, "What's this?"
"Wow, she paid for this already."
He opened Sunbeam's lid and read a piece of paper, "He paid for this too." Then he took a shoebox from a shelf, opened it, and took out a cord.

Thraight Thtory (Socks CCCLXXXI)

Barry's mother brought the ball inside, Barry followed.
"Did Barry pay for this ball?"
Pink shirt spoke up, "It was free. Mr. Fillmore said to mark it free."
"Thee, I told you tho."
"Don't get cheeky with me, young man."
Barry hung his head, "I'm thorry."
"Why don't you head on home, you have homework."
"Ok, Mommy."
Barry left, waiting to get all the way outside before dribbling.
"I hope Barry doesn't bother you here."
"No, he's no trouble."
"Well, don't let him get in the way."
"Oh, don't worry. If I have customers, I tell him to go home."

Buth-ted (Socks CCCLXXX)

A woman was walking on the sidewalk, toward the door. She stopped, folded her arms, and watched Barry dribble.
"I'm dribbling out-thide."
Pink shirt and the other lady just stood there, "Watch this, this will be good."
Barry started shaking his but toward the woman behind the counter, "I'm dribbling out-thide. I'm dribbling out-thide."
Just then he looked up, the ball bounced off his toe, and rolled to the woman on the sidewalk.
"I wuth jutht going home."
"I thought I'd find you here."
"I got a new bathketball."
"Where'd you get the money?"
"It wuth free."
"Is that so?"

Dribbling Out-thide (Socks CCCLXXIX)

"I better go, I wuth thuppothed to go thtraight home."
"Bye Barry."
"Tell Mithter Fillmore thankth."
"I will."
"I want to work here."
"You should."
"In two yearth I'll be thixteen, I can't wait."
"Barry, there's your mother."
Barry jumped, "Where? The'th not here. You got me."
"I sure did."
"Thome day I'm gonna get chew."
"I'm ready for you, Cowboy."
Barry laughed and headed for the door. He held the ball while the automatic door opened. He put his toes inside the edge of the door sill, and dribbled Bouncy on the outside of the sill.
"I'm dribbling out-thide."

LeBron Jameth (Socks CCCLXXVIII)

The boy started dribbling Bouncy right away. He bounded off the boy's toe and down the aisle, "I'm thorry. I'll wait till I get out-thide."
"That's ok, but that's a good idea to wait."
Both people walked to where Bouncy lay, waiting. The boy picked him up, and everybody walked to the woman behind the table.
"Mr. Fillmore said to give this ball away."
"I alwayth wanted a bathketball."
"Good for you, Barry."
"I'm gonna be like LeBron Jameth."
"Don't you want to be like Mike?"
"Jordan ith old thcool."
Everyone laughed.
Barry bounced the ball once, "Thorry, I forgot."

New Bathketball (Socks CCCLXXVII)

She picked up Bouncy and as soon as she stepped through the door she started dribbling him holding the twins in the other hand. She dribbled quite a ways before setting bouncy on a shelf next to a number of different size balls. A boy that came up to Pink shirt's shoulder was there.
"Ith that bathketball free?"
"Yes."
"Can I hab it?"
"Sure," She picked up Bouncy and handed him to the boy.
Lar noted that the boy's eyes were very round, and he had patches of hair missing, but his smile was huge. He kept jiggling and squirming.

Purchase (Socks CCCLXXVI)

Pink shirt put a piece of tape on Bouncy, wrote on it, and set him under the bench near Sunbeam.
She picked up Lar and Rar, carrying them out the door, and set them on a table in front of a woman, "Mr. Fillmore said I could have these for a dime."
"Cool, I think my husband would like these."
"If any more come in I'll let you know."
"Do that. Here's your receipt."
"Thanks. See you tomorrow."
"You out of here?"
"Five minutes."
Pink shirt walked slowly through the store, suddenly she stopped, then she hurried through the door.

Just Friends (Socks CCCLXXV)

Pink shirt asked again, but Fillmore had turned to go. Just as he reached the door, "Mr. Fillmore?"
"Yes."
She had picked up the twins, "How much for these?"
"One dime. For your father?"
"No, Kyle is coming over for Sunday dinner. I think he'll like them."
"Are you two an item?"
"No, just friends."
"That's a good place to start."
"Really, we're just friends."
"All I'm saying is, don't rule out anything else. He's a smart young man, he'll go far."
"I agree, but..."
"Just keep an open mind."
"Ok."
Fillmore turned to leave, "Say hello to your mother."

Gratis Globe (Socks CCCLXXIV)

"I guess there's no saving it. What about the basketball?"
"It's pretty worn, I didn't inflate it."
Fillmore picked up Basketball, "It is quite smooth, to worn to sell. Let's inflate it, maybe it holds air."
They did as Fillmore suggested.
"It looks like it holds air. Mark it free, and put it out."
"Ok."
"On second thought, wait until you see that kid with the teeth missing in the front, and set it out while he's in the store."
"OK?"
"You know who I mean?"
"Yea."
"He'll really appreciate it. He always does."
"He always does?"
Fillmore didn't answer.

Deflating (Socks CCCLXXIII)

Lar wondered, "Why didn't you tell us your name?"
"It's not my name. My name is Spaulding. When Spaulding showed up she started calling me Bouncy."
"Well it's a good fit, besides it would have been confusing having two of you."
"Two?"
Spalding chimed in, "Don't forget the tennis balls, Fuzzy and Furry."
Fillmore came into the room, and looked in the barrel, he picked up Spaulding, "This looks in pretty good shape."
"It is, except it won't hold air."
Pink shirt put a needle in Spaulding, and pumped. Spaulding swelled to official size, but was soon hissing and deflating.

Fantasy Football (Socks CCCLXXII)

"Isn't that a foul?"
"You were listening."
"Of course I was. She should have gotten a free throw."
"She would have made it too."
From the other end of the bench, "Cantu stays in the pocket, looking for an open receiver. Mones is outrunning the coverage, she's open. Cantu throws."
A deflated football sailed toward the barrel, bouncing off the edge.
Pink shirt picked up the ball, and held it out in front of herself, "The snap. Cantu looks downfield. Quarterback sneak." She trotted over, spiking the football in the barrel.
"Touchdown."
Basketball laughed, "Hey, Spaulding."
"Hey Bouncy. Together again."

Cheat (Socks CCCLXXI)

Basketball knew different names for the people, but by now was calling them the names that the twins used.
"I remember when Grunter taught Pretty how to throw me."
"She has smooth hands."
"Yes she does. At first she could hardly hit the basket, but before long she beat him at Pig almost every time. He tried to get her to play One-on-one, but she said it wasn't fair because he was taller and stronger. She didn't know that he cheated, too."
"He did?"
"Yea, he said that he could hit her hand, as long as she had the ball."

Free Throw (Socks CCCLXX)

Basketball's favorite activity was the free throw contest, "Once, I got tossed through the hoop fifty three times in a row."
"Grunter did that?"
"No, a guy named Greg. He was good. Grunter's best was nine in a row."
The conversation moved on, it seemed as if Basketball had seen Grunter in action for quite a while. Apparently Grunter used to like to keep Basketball with him while watching games on TV, bouncing him between his feet when someone stepped up to the line. This practice had stopped when Pretty came into Basketball's life.
"She can hit a free throw."

Air Ball (Socks CCCLXIX)

The boys described Grunter to Basketball.
"I think that's him, but he didn't have any hair on his face when I first saw him, and he was shorter. He could barely hit the basket."
Basketball said that a few times he got to bounce on a wooden floor, "It's not as hard on my surface as concrete."
Basketball said that people said mean things to each other while they played almost any game, "They call it trash talk." He didn't understand some of it.
"One guy called Grunter, Shack when he would free throw. Another guy called him Air Ball."

Passes (Socks CCCLXVIII)

Basketball next told of the bounce pass, the behind the back pass, and the no-look pass.
Then Basketball started telling a story, "When I first came out of the box my surface was much rougher, and I could hold air for a long time. I used to bounce on the concrete, then fly through the air, but most of the time I'd bounce off the rim."
"I thought that the idea was to go through the hoop."
"It is, but the guy that bounced me most of the time, didn't start out very good."
"Who was it? Was it Grunter?"

Basketball (Socks CCCLXVII)

The boys were hanging over the bench, talking with Basketball, "That looked like fun."
"I don't know how many times I've heard a speech like that one before I got tossed."
"I didn't that understand speech."
Basketball explained the game to the boys, then he told of other games that he had played.
"Horse sounds the same as Pig, only longer."
"Another game is 21. You get 2 points for a free throw, and 1point for a lay-up."
"What's a lay-up?"
The explanation about the lay-up led to other shots: the jumper, the fade-away, the sky hook, and the dunk.

From the Line (Socks CCCLXVI)

Pink Shirt carried Lar and Rar to the bench. She set them aside while she sorted items.
She held the basketball, "Too worn." She put the deflated ball next to her face, her elbow shoulder high, pointing in the direction of a large grey barrel at the opposite end of the bench.
"Mazzante is six for six at the line tonight. Here's the release."
The twins watched the ball arching through the air toward them, ending in the barrel, "The crowd goes wild," pink shirt turned back to the bench.
"That was fun, I just wish I wasn't so deflated."

More Nice Hands (Socks CCCLXV)

"I'll need directions."
"Right. Come over here."
Black shirt walked over to the pink shirt. She put her arm around his shoulders, pointing out the window, "See that green house down the street?"
"OK."
"My house is around the corner, steel grey, you'll see my Bug in front."
"Good, see you Sunday," He walked out the door.
The girl continued to sort. She finished the pile on the bench, took care of the items, and came for more boxes. She carried the sports equipment, and a large white bag to the bench, "One more"
She picked up the twins, "Nice."

Dinner Date (Socks CCCLXIV)

The twins watched the boxes next to them get toted away, and placed on the bench.
"That's enough, I only have a half hour to sort."
"I put my name on that percolator. Fillmore said I could have it for a buck."
"You got plans this weekend?"
"I have an exam on Monday, so I can't do much."
"OK. Why don't you come over for Sunday dinner. You can ask my Mom about Fillmore's wife."
"OK. Gotta go."
Black shirt took a card from a rack, and put it in a clock.
"What time?"
"I'll call, to let you know."

Believe, but Confirm (Socks CCCLXIII)

"I'm not lying, ask my mother."
"I don't know your mother."
"I'll tell you something else. His wife is a fox."
"No."
"It's true. His first wife got cancer. He quit working, to take care of her."
"That part of this story I believe. He's a really good guy."
"Do you think I'm lying?"
"My creed is: Believe, but confirm."
"Fillmore's wife used to be the weather girl, Heidi."
Pink shirt took the box and left the room for a short time.
"When does your shift end?"
"Ten minutes."
"Help me get this stuff on the bench. I'll sort it."

Double Life (Socks CCCLXII)

"Fillmore used to be one of the vice presidents over at Essex."
"Our Fillmore?"
"Yea. My mother said that he made some good investments, and got out of the rat race. He's really quite rich"
The two young people continued sorting the CD's silently. After a few minutes Pink shirt put some of the CD's in a box, "I'll go put these out front."
"So, Fillmore has a masters."
"Sure does."
"Well, if he's so loaded, why does he wear that ill-fitting rug?"
"You've never seen him outside here, have you?"
"Why?"
"You wouldn't recognize him."
"You're so full of..."

CD Sort (Socks CCCLXI)

The pink shirt girl came into the room, "Do we have time to go through those CD's before you leave?"
"Oh yea, plenty of time."
They stood by the bench opening the cases, "This ones got the wrong disk in it. I'll put it aside for now."
"Did you know that it took Fillmore four years to get an Associates?"
"It did not. He has a masters degree."
"He told me..."
"That's his idea of a joke. My mother went to school with him."
"What's his masters in?"
"I don't know, but he used to do the corporate thing."
"Really?"

Curriculum (Socks CCCLX)

"I don't want to go into management."
"I didn't mean that you would do exactly what I did. I just admire your spunk."
"Thank you."
"Now, what is it you're taking in college?"
"Film."
"You want to be an actor?"
"No, I get stage fright. I lean more towards writing or directing."
Mr. Fillmore turned to leave, "The things you don't find out about a guy." When he got to the door he turned, "Don't forget us when you get famous."
"I won't."
"Especially don't forget us when you get rich."
Black shirt laughed. He put Sunbeam under the bench.

Corporate Ladder (Socks CCCLIX)

"Can I leave this here tonight? I'm not going right home, I have a shift at the gas station."
"Sure, just put your name on it, and leave it under the bench."
Black shirt did as Mr. Fillmore suggested.
"You certainly are industrious. Two jobs and college."
"It keeps me busy, sir."
"You remind me of myself when I was your age."
"How's that?"
"I worked in the backroom, right here. I kept at it, and in four years got my Associates. That was ten years ago. Well, I moved my way up, and today I manage the whole place."

Purchase (Socks CCCLVIII)

"What part of my story don't you believe?"
"I don't know. What would he want with you?"
"I make great coffee."
"But you have no cord."
"My cord just plugs in."
"Plugs...in?"
"Yea, that's why it didn't hurt to get shut in the dishwasher."
A man wearing a red vest, and hair that didn't quite fit his head came in the room. The black shirt grabbed Sunbeam, "Mr. Fillmore, can I take this home?"
"You'll have to purchase it."
"How much?"
"How's one dollar?"
"I'll take it. Do we have any cords around here?"
"I think we can find one."

Treasure (Socks CCCLVII)

"What is this place?"
"I'm not sure, but the guy with the black tee shirt takes objects to the bench, and looks them over."
"How do you know?"
"I've watched him all day."
Lar looked over at the black shirt guy.
"This morning, he took me to the bench."
"What did he do to you?"
"Polished me with a towel, and said that he might take me home, if he could find a cord."
"He told you that?"
"No. He told the woman with the pink shirt."
"What did she say?"
"She told him not to get caught."
"I'm skeptical."

Power Struggle (Socks CCCLVI)

"Well, one day the man took me out side, put me in a large plastic barrel, and shut the lid. It was dark, and soon the lid opened. The woman looked in, pulled me out, and put a small bag in. Then she said some words that I didn't hear very often. She carried me back inside, putting me in with the pans. She took me out one day, and called the man some names before putting me back with the pans. Yesterday the man put me in the car, I stayed there overnight. This morning he brought me here."

Replaced (Socks CCCLV)

"Did it hurt?"
"No way. The woman that I worked for said that she would get a new cord, but the man said that he wanted to get an under the cabinet coffee maker."
"What's that?"
Sunbeam told Lar the differences. "She left me on the counter, and I watched the new coffee maker take over."
"How long were you there?"
"Long enough for about ten pots to brew. The woman said that she like my coffee better, but the man said that I cluttered up the counter."
"If she liked your coffee better, how did you end up here?"

Sunbeam (Socks CCCLIV)

There were boxes and bags of objects all around the boys. Lar stuck up a conversation with a percolator.
"I like hot water too. I like to swim in it, in the washer, of course."
"I don't get to swim. Right on my base is a warning not to immerse in water."
"You keep the hot water on the inside?"
"I start with cold water, and make hot coffee." Then Sunbeam went on to explain coffee.
"I haven't made coffee for a long time. My cord was hanging over the counter, and got caught in the door of the dishwasher."

Donation (Socks CCCLIII)

The car stopped. The ladies got out, and a mans voice said, "Can I help you?"
"We have some items to donate."
The three people carried the boxes into a room, setting them on the floor along with a number of boxes and bags that were there already.
"This one is mostly clothing. These are sporting goods. Let's see, this one has a bunch of CD's."
"I'll sort that one, we don't need many clothes on the floor now." The man set a
box on top of the twins, and a box in front.
"Do you need a donation receipt?"

Plead Out (Socks CCCLII)

After several days, and several boxes that were deposited in the closet, Pretty and Mom stared carrying boxes to the car. The boys listened to the conversation in the car.
"He pled guilty to Unlawful Entry."
"What about Breaking and Entering?"
"They dropped it for a plea."
"How much time did he get?"
"Two years, suspended."
"What's that?"
"He doesn't really have to go to jail. He got one year probation."
"He lucked out."
"He can't even attempt to have any contact with me. The judge said that if he broke probation, he'd go to jail for the full sentence."

Purloined Pun (Socks CCCLI)

In the morning Pretty continued with her cleaning. The box went into a closet in the spare bedroom. As days passed, other boxes, containing various items, mostly sports equipment, were brought in.
There was a basketball who said that he hadn't been bounced for so long that he was now deflated and no longer supple.
The football had been out only a couple times more than the basketball.
The tennis ball claimed to have been knocked around just last season. The golf ball got used all the time.
Rar noted that the older Grunter got, the smaller his balls were.

Evidence (Socks CCCL)

The blue woman said that she had some advice, "Next time you decide to break and enter, do it sober."
"I'll take that into consideration."
Pretty shook her head, "You never give up, do ya?"
Fred started putting the items that the blue woman held back into Grunter's pockets.
"I'll take him down to the station, if you want to do the report."
The blue woman gave Fred a key, "Let's keep this as evidence."
Fred put the key in a clear bag, and walked Grunter out.
For an hour the blue woman asked questions and wrote while Pretty talked.

Address Change (Socks CCCXLIX)

The blue woman helped grunter to sit up, and told him to, "Sit right there, and don't move."
"Is anything missing, Ma'am?"
"I don't think so, he just walked in when you got here."
"Do you want to press charges?"
"You bet."
Fred helped Grunter stand, "I'm going to frisk you. Is there anything sharp in your pockets?"
Fred pulled things out of Grunter's pockets, placing them in the blue woman's hands. Fred opened Grunter's wallet, "Didn't get your address changed yet, huh?"
"Not yet."
"You're about to get an address change, for the next three to five years anyhow."

Be a Knee (Socks CCCXLVIII)

Grunter shoved the box aside, running for the back door.
Rar could see down the hall, and when Grunter opened the door a flashlight shone in his eyes, "Don't move,"
Grunter stopped.
"Lay down, and put your hands behind your back."
Grunter complied, the blue woman did something that caused a click.
"Ma'am, are you ok?"
"Yes, I'm ok."
"FRED, AROUND BACK. How many were there Ma'am?"
"I only heard one," Pretty came out of the bedroom.
Fred came in, and looked around the house.
By now lights were on, and Pretty could see the man on the floor, "You!"

Emergency Call (Socks CCCXLVII)

There came a noise at the back door, a click. Pretty stirred in the other room, her breathing had changed.
Whispering, "I can hear someone at my back door."
*
"I heard them in the back yard a few minutes ago, so I got dressed."
*
"Yes, I can stay on the line."
*
"Please hurry, the door is opening."
*
"Yes, I'm hiding behind the bed."
*
"OK, I won't talk unless I need to."
The only sound in the house was footsteps in the hall, then in the living room. Grunter was pawing in the box.
Red and blue flashed through the window.

Smelly Shoes (Socks CCCXLVI)

The twins didn't talk much, they just hung around, listening. There was a sweater in the bottom of the box complaining about the smell coming from the golf shoes, apparently the grass from the cleats was on his sleeve. A golf ball, with a nick, was in the right shoe telling the sweater that the smell was much worse in the shoe. The shoes were silent, longing for the days of walking out in the open, before the odor had set in. If the man hadn't quit using the powder, the shoes would still smell new.
"Cuckoo, cuckoo..." twelve times.

Boxing Day (Socks CCCXLV)

The boys were together again, held by the hands they both admired.
Very quietly, "This was a gift, but all you did was complain. You'll never see these again."
She put the Gylegreys on the bed, opened the closet, and piled more items with them, mostly clothing, all the while muttering. She left the room, coming back with a box. All the objects went in the box, with Lar and Rar tucked in the side, hanging over the edge. Pretty carried the box into the living room.
"You had your chance."
Pretty turned off the lights. Soon she breathed rhythmically.

Cleaning Again (Socks CCCXLIV)

Dyson understood what Margreth and Phil were saying, but remained a bit sullen over being picked on.
When the alarm sounded, Pretty, or Honey as Margreth knew her, knocked around the house and left, staying gone all day.
In the evening when Pretty returned, she stood in the doorway of the bedroom, "I'm tired of this mess." She picked up the phone, "A large with pepperoni," then gave the address.
She plugged Dyson into the wall, and hit the on button. She eventually moved the dresser, "Wow." Rar was once again in the soft hands.
She pulled the drawer open.

Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch (Socks CCCXLIII)

"Well, I clean all the rooms, while you just hang on the wall, and say that stupid cuckoo."
"And what is that noise that you make? Is it a roar?"
Phil couldn't help but interject, "Sounds like a rumble to me."
Dyson didn't dare mention Phil's sounds.
The argument went on for a short time until Phil felt sorry for the youngster.
"What say we give her a break. Look Dyson, we're just having fun with you."
Margreth complied, "What we've figured out is that each object has it's own talent. It's own job, if you know what I mean."

He's Back (Socks CCCXLII)

The next day Oma left. Margreth and Phil stayed in the house watching the happenings.
They saw the walls painted a different color. They saw more furniture come in. They saw the young man that visited, and after a time, moved in.
The young man didn't really answer questions directly, he made guttural noises, so Phil started calling him Grunter.
Grunter was nice for a while, then he began to talk roughly to Honey. Margreth nor Phil liked him, and when he was asked to move out, they were glad, even giddy. That's why they were pestering the vacuum cleaner.

Slumber Party (Socks CCCXLI)

Oma pronounced the home as, "lovely."
"Oma, would you like to stay here tonight? I have a double bed."
Oma and Honey sat in the living room talking, and eating the pizza that a young man brought to the front door until after one AM. Oma recounted her youth, the tale of the cuckoo clock, and their escape to America.
Margreth had been on the wall when Dana had told Honey these same stories, but Honey listened, asking questions as if she heard them for the first time.
After the women went to bed, Margreth could still hear them talking.

Another Move (Socks CCCXL)

The next afternoon Dad picked Phil up from his table, and Mom took Margreth from the wall. The objects were carried to the car.
Oma sat in the back seat, holding Margreth in her lap. Margreth felt water, "Oh Margreth, after all these years, I still miss you. Tell Wilhiem I'll be there soon."
"Were you talking to me, Oma?"
"No, I was talking to the Das Cuckoo."
"I haven't heard it called that for years."
Soon Margreth was on the wall in the new house. Phil, his table, and a couch were the only other objects in the room.

Oma Visits (Socks CCCXXIX)

Oma was now very slow, and bent, she gave a small piece of paper to Honey, "For the new house."
"I still have the money you gave me for graduation."
"Good, Opa wanted you to have this."
"But Oma, this is half of what the house costs."
"Then you can start life with a savings."
"Oma, I can't."
"Don't argue with your Oma, I want you to have it."
"OK. Thank you."
They hugged, and Honey cried.
"Now, take your Oma to see the new place."
"I'll have to call my realtor, I close tomorrow."
"Then we wait until tomorrow."

Four Years (Socks CCCXXXVIII)

Margreth seldom saw Honey when the weather was cold, but she was around the house in the summer, and when the house was decorated. By this time, she knew it was called Christmas. In fact, she had picked up on lots of holidays. This went on for four years, then Honey was around the house every day, but worked at night.
Honey told Mom that she thought it was time to get a place of her own, and asked if Dad would, please, look at a house with her.
The next week Donald, Kathernia, and Oma were at the house.

Honey Grows (Socks CCCXXXVII)

The day came when Margreth and Phil were wrapped in cloth, and each put in a box, when they came out it was in a different house.
Honey grew, past the day when she could pull on the chains.
One day when Honey had carried suitcases into the room, Dana, Edison, and Honey stood and talked, "I'll make you the same deal that Oma made to me."
"Mom, that's your clock."
"It would be worth twice the price to hear from you every week."
A horn honked outside, they hugged, and Honey went out the door, "Bye, I'll miss you."

A letter (Socks CCCXXXVI)

Late in the day Chris and the woman carried their bags into the room, "We better get going before dark."
"Call as soon as you get home."
"I hope Nixon gets us out soon, I want to move back."
"Be careful at the border, Chris."
"Call me Pete. Want to see my license?"
There were hugs all around.
The next day Cassie left with her bag. The others stayed about a week.
Time slipped by, Honey grew. Margreth knew that Honey was going to school, she had heard the conversations.
One day Edison received a letter, "It's a job offer."

Reception (Socks CCCXXXV)

The man in black told Edison to kiss Dana, he did, and everyone cheered.
Margreth was confused, "What was that all about? They kiss all the time."
Long into the night the party went on, and around nine Opa started singing and clapping Edison on the shoulder. Just after ten Oma guided him upstairs vowing to be back after she tucked him in. She didn't come back until the next morning.
By midnight the only ones at the party were the people that had once lived in the house.
Oma and Honey were up early. Everyone else slept till noon.

A Ceremony (Socks CCCXXXIV)

When the weather turned it's hottest, there was yet another party at the house.
Oma, Opa, Katherina, and Donald were there, as was the couple that Edison called Mom and Dad.
Margreteh had seen these people a few times over the last few years, but not all at the same time.
Cassie was there, and Chris brought a woman.
Cassie and Dana stood on one side of a strange, smiling man dressed in black, Edison and Chris stood on the other.
When Honey carried a pillow through the room all the women cried.
Phil and Margreth agreed, this was strange.

Two Years (Socks CCCXXXIII)

During the party Cassie said that she would go home to Ohio, there was lots of industry there, "Maybe GM needs an engineer."
Margreth heard Chris tell someone that he had two offers, one in LA, the other in Vancouver. "I think Canada would be a good place to live till this all blows over."
Chris and Cassie moved out, Honey got Cassie's room.
Two more springs brought two more parties, then only Edison, Dana, and Honey lived in the house.
Honey was walking, and knew not to pull Margreth's chains, but she did touch them when Dana wasn't looking.

It's a Girl (Socks CCCXXXII)

The next morning Edison came in, his clothes were disheveled, his hair sticking up in places, and his eyes red.
Chris was at the kitchen table, "Well?"
"It's a girl."
Damn, she was right."
"You surprised?"
"Not really."
"Will you wake me if I'm not up by noon?"
"Sure. When can she have visitors?"
"She was asleep when I left, this afternoon I suppose."
Edison dragged himself to his room.
In a few days Honey came home, and stayed in the room with Edison and Dana.
Spring came, Honey was crawling, and there was a party for Cassie and Chris.

Breaking Water (Socks CCCXXXI)

Dana agreed that she was stubborn, "but only when I'm right."
As Dana got larger, Chris, the dark man, would occasionally suggest boy's names.
"Don't need it," was the reply.
One day Margreth watched Dana dusting, cleaning, and cooking. While standing in the kitchen, water pooled under Dana's dress. She sat down for a moment, grabbed a mop, then made a phone call, "It's time," was the gist of the conversation. She carried a suitcase into the room.
Edison came rushing in talking fast, his face red, he tried to get Dana to, "Hurry."
"There's time. Let's not kill ourselves."

One Name (Socks CCCXXX)

Phil and Margreth settled into an easy existence, enjoying each others company, and the company of the people that lived in the house.
As Dana's belly grew, everyone, even the objects, called her Mom.
On one of the rare occasions that the six people living in the house were together, the dark man asked, "What names do you have picked out?"
"Honey Margreth, after my great-grandma."
"Cool, what about boy's names?"
"Don't need one."
"What? You got to..."
"Don't bother Chris," came from Edison.
"But what if..."
"I have a girl in here," Mom pointed at her belly.
"You're stubborn."

Group Support (Socks CCCXXIX)

"You'll see," Phil answered to Margrteh's questions about this guitar thing.
Soon, the man went up, got his guitar, and began to strum. Most of the group sang with him.
Margreth had seen both Wilhiem and Donald smoke, but these people shared their cigarettes, passing them one to another.
Edison was offered one of the cigarettes, "No thanks. When Dana can, I will."
"Fair enough," the dark man said, "I'll quit too, till Dana can partake," handing his cigarette to a woman.
"Me too," that woman said.
The whole group followed suit.
Margreth didn't see this activity again for months.

Party (Socks CCCXXVIII)

"Does Dana pay rent?"
"Yes, I heard them talking, she insisted, or she wouldn't move in."
The party was changing, the four people that brought Margreth had left, and some others had arrived. The new people were dressed in bright colors, with pants that were big at the bottom, or headbands.
One of the guests was a man with a dark face. His hair was big and round, and shook when he laughed, which was a lot.
This was the second dark face that Margreth had seen, she remarked to Phil about it.
"He lives here, upstairs. He plays guitar."

Edison (Socks CCCXXVII)

With only Dana in the room, Phil finished his yarn, "He brought me back to Dana, and she gave him a bundle of shirts."
He went on to explain that the man came around more often, until one day Dana brought Phil here, along with all her other stuff, "She stays in a room with Dad."
"What's Dad's name?"
"They call him Edison, but I don't think that's his name."
Phil said that Dad knew how to repair all manner of objects.
"Also a few other people live here, and pay rent to Edison."
"What's rent?"
"Green pieces of paper."

Dad and Daddy (Socks CCCXXVI)

"That's why Oma gave you the clock."
"No, you don't get it, they really missed each other, they know each other."
The two men looked at each other.
"Dad, you never believed me about this stuff."
"I've only known you a little over a year."
"All right, from now on, you are Dad," she punched her finger in the bearded man's chest, "and you are Daddy," doing the same to Donald.
"Now, both of you, get back to the party."
The bearded man rubbed Dana's belly, and put his face waist high, "Don't listen to her, I think she's unstable."

New Guts (Socks CCCXXV)

About half of the crowd had left, and the rest had migrated to the kitchen, except Dana. Phil continued his story, "He took out my guts and put AM-FM guts back in."
"What's that?"
"That's what he called it, it helps me grab two types of signal."
Dana turned her head toward the other room, "Dad, come in here."
The bearded man and Donald walked in, all three people laughed.
Dana had one man on each side, "Listen."
Nobody moved, even Phil stopped his story.
"What?"
"Shhh."
Dana said, "The clock and the radio are happy to be together again."

Cool Radio (Socks CCCXXIV)

The radio and the clock picked up where they had left off. Interrupting during a story was great fun.
Margreth let Phil finish his tale, "Dana pulled me from the closet, and handed me to the guy with the beard. He said that I was a cool radio."
"Phil, you are cool."
"Thanks. He put me under his arm, said 'I'll have it ready in two weeks,' and headed for the door."
Dana was standing in front of Margreth, playing her earlobe, looking from the clock to the radio.
"Then he said, 'The price is three tie-dyes,' and walked out."

Interrupting (Socks CCCXXIII)

"Why does Dana call that guy Dad?"
"Did you see her belly?"
"Oh," Margreth looked.
"He's the one that fixed me."
Phil explained, "I used to live in a room with Dana and Cassie, the girl talking to Oma."
"Do they know each other?"
"Cassie talks to everybody. Her and Dana used to let me report until it got hard for me to grab the signal."
"Do they have good signals here?"
"Lots of good music. I sat for a long time, unplugged. Then I got put in a closet."
"Was it dark?"
Phil didn't answer.
Both objects started laughing.

Phil Spotting (Socks CCCXXII)

The man came back, and tapped on the wall with the handle of the hammer, "Here's a stud. How high do you want it, Mom?"
Margreth was on the wall looking around the room. As soon as she saw the table on the other side of the window, "Hello."
"Phil."
"That's me."
Margreth was so happy she couldn't wait to cuckoo. It was almost noon, but it felt more like three or four in the afternoon.
Phil and Margreth were glad to see each other, and carried on a conversation in spite of all of the people in the house.

Hippie Spotting (Socks CCCXXI)

Margreth knew she was being carried again, and could hear different voices. She heard Dana's voice again. She was being removed from the bag and unwrapped. Next she was looking into Dana's face. Margreth was so happy that she wanted to cuckoo, but she couldn't.
"Oma, Opa, you can't give me your Mama's clock."
"We can. It was our deal."
Finally, Oma and Opa won. Margreth would stay with Dana.
"Dad, lets hang it between those two windows."
"I'll get a hammer and nail."
Margreth saw a strange man, with shoulder length hair and a beard walk from the room.

Pre-Party (Socks CCCXX)

After a while, Margreth heard the door open again, then she heard the voices of Wilhiem, and Elsebeth, "This bag has been moved."
She was picked up, "Nothing is missing."
"Maybe they moved it to clean, Oma."
"Probably so."
"We should get to the party now."
"We finally get to meet Dana's... What shall we call him? Her Boyfriend?"
"They will be married soon enough, then he will be her husband."
Margreth felt the bag move, being carried. She heard the door shut.
She heard a knock. A door opened, "You ready?"
Katherina's voice said, "Just about. Donald's downstairs waiting"

Two Friends (Socks CCCXIX)

Margreth was back in, and could hear the women talking as they finished their tasks.
"This room's done. On to the next."
"I'd like to take one last look at that clock."
"We can't, if we get caught..."
"I know, I won't."
"We can't tell nobody about that clock."
"If John knew we did that, he'd fire us both, on the spot."
"We? You opened it."
"But you looked too."
The two women bickered like that until Margreth heard a door shut. She got the feeling that this was kind of like Wilhiem and Donald's banter. These women were friends.

Antique Peek (Socks CCCXVIII)

The bundle was being picked up, and Margreth was being unwrapped.
"Ooh, look at this."
"That's beautiful."
Margreth was looking at two women she didn't recognize. Both had huge smiles. One had a very dark face, darker than any she had ever seen.
"It looks old."
"I bet it's an antique."
She started wrapping Margreth up again.
"I better put this away before someone comes in."
"Why would anyone bring something that valuable on vacation?"
"I don't know, it's none of our business."
"Your right, but it sure was pretty."
"You're the nosiest thing alive."
"You looked too, you know."

Rich People (Socks CCCXVII)

Margreth heard two women, then she could feel herself being moved. suddenly she could see more light.
"Stay out of that bag."
"Mind your own business."
"It is my business. If you steal something, I get in trouble too."
"I'm not going to steal anything, I just want to look. See what these rich people have."
"It's none of your business. Besides, what makes you think they're rich?"
"They flew all the way across the country."
"How do you know?"
"Here's the plane ticket."
"Wow, you sure are right. They flew non-stop from... Wait, this ain't none of our business."

Day Counting (Socks CCCXVI)

Margreth wished that she would get back to the wall, any wall, so her pendulum would swing again. This was not as bad as when she was stuck in the suitcase, but it was close. Her concept of time was way off. She knew that people went to bed, whatever that meant, and that ended one day. She counted to herself.
"Elsebeth wrapped me up, then told Opa it was time for bed. That was one day."
She had to think hard, "Did the strange, loud noises last for one, two, or three days?"
There was a knock, "Room service."

Graduation Day (Socks CCCXV)

Margreth remained in the container while the people went to supper with Dana. She remembered how Dana would mimic the cuckoo, only able to stand or walk by hanging on to the couch or coffee table. Dana would even harmonize with the clock occasionally, up to the day she left for college. Margreth missed Dana.
The next morning Margreth only heard Oma amd Opa's voices, but the phone rang twice. She could tell that Katherina was on the other end once, "Yes, we're awake," and Dana the next, "OK, see you in an hour."
Margreth wanted to see the graduation.