A Date and A Phone Call (Socks DXIV, DXV, DXVI, DXVII, DXVIII, DXIX, DXX, & DXXI)

While Rar had enjoyed Red’s life story Lar had discovered a strange garment.
“I’ve never seen anything like you before. What are you?”
“I‘m a bib overalls, Mack?”
“Lar.”
“I’m not a liar.”
“I didn’t call you a liar.”
“OK. Let’s drop it.”
“Ok. What’s your job?”
“I‘m like pants that don‘t fall down, Mack.”
“Lar.”
“There you go again.”
“There I go what again?”
“You called me a liar. Again.”
“Why do you keep saying that?”
“Why do you keep calling me a liar?”
“I don’t…”
“Let’s drop it again. Ok?”
“Sure.”
Silence.
Red and Rar had stopped talking and were listening to the other conversation. They saw the misinterpretation that was taking place, but would not intervene. That would ruin the fun.
More silence.
“Won’t suspenders do the same thing?”
“I’m like pants with suspenders that don’t get lost.”
“What about a belt?”
The bibs went on to explain why bib overalls were superior to pants and a belt.
Finally, “How’s that for a story, Mack?”
“Lar.”
“No, it was all true.”
“I don’t doubt you.”
“Then why do you call me a liar, Mack?”
“Why do you call me Mack? I’m not a Mack, I’m a Lar.”
“So, you admit that you are the liar. All this time you been calling me a liar.”
This went on for some time.
Red whispered to Rar, “Who’s on first.”
Rar whispered back, “What?”
“It’s something that Kyle listens to once in a while, it makes him laugh real hard. I heard it a few times before I got the joke. You’ll get to hear it soon, I’m sure.”
They turned their attention to Lar and Big Smith.
Lar and Big Smith finally got it straight, but Big still wasn’t sure if Lar was teasing him or not. He wasn’t even sure if Lar was this characters name for real. Why didn’t he just call himself Fraud, Phony, or Fabricator.
When Kyle got home all garments went into their respective drawer or closet as he walked around talking again, “Hang this up. These in the top drawer. This in here. Leave this out, I’ll wear it to work.”
The drawer that the boys were in was partially open, so they could hear Kyle knocking around.
The phone rang, “Hello.”
*
“Where were you? I waited outside the math building.”
*
“Sorry, I hope you feel better.”
*
“I feel great.”
*
“No, I won’t be able to cover your shift. I’m scheduled at my other job.”
*
“Just Thursday afternoon and Saturday morning this week. I asked Mr. Fillmore to go easy on me, I have a couple tests this week.”
*
“Then I’ll see you Saturday, unless your still sick. Hey, maybe we can do something after work.”
*
“I dunno, get something to eat, see a movie, rent a movie and cook. Your choice.”
*
“Your house or mine, makes no difference.”
*
“Ok, we’ll decide then.”
*
“Bye, see you Saturday. Hope you feel better.”
Soon the boys heard the door shut, and the apartment was silent.
The phone rang. It rang seven times. A few minutes later it rang five times.
As the week progressed Kyle came and went from the apartment, talking to himself while he was there. The phone rang several times while Kyle was absent. One day just as the light was beginning to come in the windows the phone rang again.
“Hello.”
*
“How’d you get this number?”
*
“My mother?”
*
“We’ve been through this.”
*
“No, I don’t need to talk about it.”
*
“No, there is no chance that we will get back together.”
*
“The same two reasons I’ve had for the last year.”
*
“Yes, that’s one. I am going to wait, and I want to be with someone that wants to wait.”
*
“I don’t care what you did before you met me. I made this decision our senior year, I dated… Well, you know, and we… Well, you know. But you slept with Jason while we were dating.”
*
“I believe that my mother would take your side, I never told her what you did.”
*
“Because it’s between you and me. And Jason, of course, he is my cousin.”
*
“I told you I didn’t want to talk about it, and here I am talking. I’ve got to go to work.”
“Bye. Don’t bother calling back.”
A small voice was heard until a click was heard.
Kyle walked around the apartment talking until he left for work, but he never mentioned the phone call. He only talked of what he was going to wear, packing his lunch, and what movie he could rent for Saturday.
The door could be heard to open, but before it closed, the phone rang.
“Hello.”
*
“Mom, I’m just heading out the door for school.”
*
“Can we talk later? I don’t want to be late.”
*
“I promise.”
*
“Love you too, bye.”

Red‘s Story (Socks DX, DXI, DXII, & DXIII)

So, they found a common background in that Red had been worn by a different person than Kyle. He covered the torso of a boy that spent much time out-of-doors playing sports. Red was versed in baseball, basketball, and driver’s ed, which wasn’t really a sport, but he informed the brothers about it anyhow.
“The kid only had a few hairs on his armpit when I first went to work, but soon he had lots of hair and I fit tight across his chest.”
The kid was wearing Red, playing basketball, and they came inside to find the kid’s mother in his room. She had a big box in the middle of the floor. The box already contained clothes, shoes, and coats.
He recounted the incident.
“What’s this, Mom?”
“None of this stuff fits you any more. It’s all in good shape. We’re donating all of it.”
“But I like that coat.”
“Try it on.”
The sleeves of the coat came past his wrists and buttoning was out of the question.
“I just wore this last winter.”
“Yes, I know. Take that coat off, and put it in the box. While you’re at it, put that shirt in too.”
“It’s all sweaty.”
“Tough. Your Dad’s taking this stuff today. Whoever gets it can wash it.”
The kid started to leave the room.
“Where are you going?”
“To change my shirt.”
“You can change in front of me. I’ve seen you naked lots of times.”
“Aw, Mom,” The kid’s face was as red as Red.
When the box arrived at the store Red was perched on the top. Kyle had picked Red up professing his admiration for the shirt, especially the logo, but not liking the smell. Mr. Fillmore was there.
“We can’t sell this, it smells too bad. Just throw it in the trash.”
“I’ll buy it.”
“Kyle, if you work hard enough to get the smell out of this shirt, than you have earned it. Take it, it’s yours.”
Kyle took Red home that evening, and hung him over the shower curtain rod. After a day or two Kyle soaked Red in the sink, sprinkling in some type of powder. Then Red went in the wash with all of the other clothes, coming out of the dryer smelling fresh as spring.
“And Kyle and I have been together ever since.”
Rar liked the story, “Good story, Red.”
“Thanks, Rar.”

Red (Socks DIX)

Kyle left the room again. Noises could be heard coming from the kitchen. Soon Kyle walked back in, looked around, “Where’s my book? I remember.” He dashed out. A door shut, then clicked.
Red and the boys had all day to talk. Red told them that Kyle walked around talking when no other people were around. Red had heard people ask Kyle who he was talki9ng to. Kyle would look around and say, “Where did that guy go? He was just here.”
Red had been acquired at the same place that Kyle worked.
“Actually, all the clothes came from there.”

Almost Dry (Socks DVIII)

After tumbling in the dryer until they were almost dry, all of the clothes went in the basket. Lar and Rar were near the top, with only a grey shirt between them and Red.
Kyle carried the basket home, setting it on the bed. He moved around the apartment talking as if he were reminding himself what he had to do.
Grabbing a book from the dresser, “Ok, class starts in forty five minutes.”
Kyle left the room, and retuned without the book. He started to pick up the basket, “I’ll get these later. I need to eat before class.”

Red Handed (Socks DVII)

When Kyle pulled Red out, Lar was in the neck hole, with Rar hanging out of the right sleeve. He put them on a table that way.
“Look at that,” Kyle said to himself, for the Laundromat was empty.
“I’ve seen clothes turn wrong side out, or get lost, but this is a new one.”
Red was happy, “This worked out better than I thought it would.”
“Glad we could help.”
Red had another idea, “Maybe we can do something like this every time we’re in the wash together.”
They would have shook on the deal, had they had hands.

Trapped (Socks DVI)

During the rinse cycle, Rar came near Red, and grabbed his sleeve. He shoved it inside, just like Lar had asked. Lar had slipped through the neck hole, and pulled the sleeve inside.
They pulled and pushed for all they were worth, but couldn’t get red turned inside out.
“That’s good enough, boys. Kyle will still be surprised,” Red announced.
“Next time we’ll get you turned all the way inside out.”
The spin cycle started. The water left the washer, trapping the boys where they were.
The spinning stopped, the lid opened, and Kyle removed items one at a time.

Slosh Slosh (Socks DV)

They talked as they agitated past each other.
Slosh, slosh.
“Well, what did he say?”
Slosh, slosh.
“The red shirt said…”
Slosh, slosh.
“That they always wash up…”
Slosh, slosh.
“With what ever color…”
Slosh, slosh.
“Is in the basket.”
Slosh, slosh.
“Red has an idea.”
Slosh, slosh.
“What is it?”
Slosh, slosh.
“He wants to turn…”
Slosh, slosh.
“Inside out.”
Slosh, slosh.
“Why?”
Slosh, slosh.
“To play a joke…”
Slosh, slosh.
“On Kyle, but…”
Slosh, slosh.
“He needs help.”
Slosh, slosh.
“I’m in.”
Slosh, slosh.
“Ok, grab his sleeve…”
Slosh, slosh.
“And shove it inside.”
The plan was set.

Familiar Territory (Socks DIV)

“I think I recognize this, brother.”
“Me too.”
“We’re going to the washer.”
They were right. Kyle carried the basket into the kitchen, and had breakfast while the dirty clothes waited in the basket.
The snow had stopped falling by the time they went outside. The walk to the Laundromat wasn’t as long as the previous nights walk.
The boys talked as the washer filled.
“We’ve never been in the wash with so many different colored clothes before.”
The washer , moving them apart.
Slosh, slosh.
“That’s what’s different.”
Slosh, slosh.
“I just talked to the red shirt…”
Slosh, slosh.

Almost Right (Socks DIII)

The shoes were propped against the wall, toes down. Kyle had draped the boys over the shoes. The conversation carried, even though Lar was on the right shoe, Rar on the left.
“Looks like you guessed right.”
“I’m glad you were here to see it, I have so little talking company.”
The heat kicked on.
“This will dry us out.”
“We’re not very wet.”
The shoe added, “I’m not totally right, he didn’t put powder on us.”
“Close enough.”
In the morning Kyle put the brothers in a basket, atop of the tee shirt Kyle had worn the night before.

Home Safe (Socks DII)

Kyle took his phone out of his pocket, “I’m home, safe and sound.”
*
“Yea, I got snowed on a little.”
*
“I think I’ll do a little reading. I have a history test on Thursday.”
*
“Ok, bye.”
*
“Oh, wait,” Kyle recounted wearing the ring, how it made him nervous just to wear it. He took the ring out, putting it on the counter.
*
“No, I’ll never wear it again, it’s right here next to the sink.”
After hanging up, Kyle set on a kitchen chair, and took off all his footwear. He put one shoe on each side of the register.

Solitaire (Socks DI)

The shoe told Rar that she had to play games by herself, “My brother doesn’t talk.”
Kyle eventually walked up a flight of steps, strange steps. The unpainted stairs went up the outside of a building. Garbage cans were visible under the stairs through the open risers. Most of the treads creaked, one near the bottom was especially loose. The only place that was covered was the landing at the top, where Kyle stopped to unlock the door.
Kyle shook the snow from his coat before entering.
Once inside, Kyle locked the door, and hung the coat on a hook.

Guessing (Socks D)

Lar and Rar had never been out in the snow. Lar tried to ask his shoe about the snow, but he didn’t talk. Rar attempted a conversation with his shoe. She informed him that they had walked in the snow only a few times.
“I don’t mind the light snow, but I don’t like getting too wet. When we get home Kyle will put powder in us, and set us next to the heater.”
“Does he do that every time?”
“No, and I’m just guessing what he will do. I like to try to guess. It‘s a game I play.”

Light Snow (Socks CDXCIX)

“Mother…”
Kyle stopped waking. He took the ring off his finger.
“Wow, it’s only a light snow. You’ve walked in snow worse than this.”
“Who you talking to, son?”
Kyle turned. A gray haired man walked quickly toward him. The man wore a band on his head, covering his ears, and tight fitting clothes. The man’s arms were bent, his hands near his chest, pumping.
“Just myself, sir.”
The man laughed as he whizzed by, “Better watch doing that, it’s a habit that’s hard to break. I speak from experience.”
Kyle put the ring in the pocket opposite the change.

Exercise (Socks CDXCVIII)

Kyle said his good-byes. Sophie stepped outside on porch with Kyle.
“Where’s your car?”
“I walked.”
“Let me give you a ride home.”
“No thanks, I need to exercise away that pie and ice cream.”
“It’s kind of chilly.”
“I’ll be ok. It’s only about a mile. I walk as much as I can.”
More good-byes.
As Kyle walked, he softly sung to himself, jingling the ring together with the change in his pocket. He slipped the ring on his pinkie.
Now the change in his pocket rattled faster and faster, and the singing had stopped.
Snow stared to fall.

Ring Again (Socks CDXCVII)

The TV turned off. No one spoke for a minute. Nobody moved.
Kyle and Sophie went into her room, leaving the door open.
“What should I do with the ring?”
Kyle already knew the story, but had no advice.
“I wouldn’t feel right giving it back to Mr. Fillmore.”
“I don’t think he would be offended.”
“I just don’t want to hurt his feelings.”
“Give me the ring, I’ll explain the whole thing to him.”
“He’ll think we’re nuts.”
“Then have him wear it for a while.”
The plan was set. Kyle put the ring and emerald in his pocket.

Game End (Socks CDXCVI)

Maiden continued, “Sometimes Dan gets a sweet tooth, and eats a lot of candy. He especially likes the chocolates.”
Maiden had to explain to Rar that Dan’s tooth was really normal, it was just an expression.
“Who made up that expression?”
“Sophie says it, but I don’t know who made it up.”
The game was winding down, and Kyle put his feet on the floor.
Sophie sat between Kyle and Dan, slightly closer to Kyle, “They should pull the goalie pretty soon.”
No one spoke, but everyone leaned forward in their seat.
Then, “Crap, anyone but the Ducks.”
“I agree.”

Off Subject (Socks CDXCV)

“That emerald doesn’t deserve a name.”
“What about the ring?”
A pause.
“I’m not sure. In fact I’m not sure I care. I just wish they’d shut up.”
“I’m with you there Lar. We’re getting off the subject.”
“What is the subject?”
“Maiden, and his crappy job.”
“Ah, that was the subject. His job really bothers you. Doesn’t it?”
“Sure does.”
“Maybe you need Dr. Phil.”
“Maybe you need to…”
“Hold it bro. I’m just messing with you.”
Kyle put his feet on the coffee table. The candy dish was nearly empty.
“Hi Maiden. You’ve been busy.”
“Life is good.”

Worked Up (Socks CDXCIV)

Kyle’s feet were on the floor during the power play, so the boys were free to talk.
“I feel bad for Maiden.”
“Why?”
“He has a girls name. Imagine that?”
“It’s just a name.”
“Well, I say…”
“Don’t get worked up brother, it’s just a name. Besides, he wasn’t even sure of his own name.”
“That’s another reason, he’s just not sure of his name.”
“Rar, you’re sweating the small stuff.”
“I know, but I can’t help it. It’s that ring. And that emerald.”
“Hold it. We don’t even know the emerald’s name. Why aren’t you worked up about that?”

03:53 (Socks CDXCIII)

“No, thanks. I’d just fall asleep.”
“Again?”
“Yea, again.”
Sophie got up, “Do you want ice cream with your apple pie?”
“Am I having pie?”
“I made it, so I think you are.”
“I think I am, too.”
“Good choice,” Dan added.
“Well?”
“Well what?”
“Ice cream?”
“Yes, please.”
“Another good choice.”
Sophie came back, giving each man a dessert. When she returned with her own plate, she sat next to Kyle on the couch.
“Does your mom watch hockey?”
“Not usually. She takes Sunday afternoons to read.”
The third period started.
The bad guys got two for goalie interference.

Three to One (Socks CDXCII)

The tale of the ring and the emerald, and their constant hostility was recounted. The brothers and Maiden were in agreement that Dr. Phil’s competence could be put to good use.
The second period ended, and Kyle got up from the couch, “Can I use your bathroom?”
He was told where to find the correct door.
As he moved down the hall toward the living room the brothers talked, “There’s a good sign.”
“Yea?”
“We didn’t get wet. This guy has good aim.”
The boys laughed.
Dan asked, “How old are you, Kyle?”
“Twenty-one. Why?”
“Would you like a beer?”

Moniker (Socks CDXCI)

“That’s your name? Maiden China?”
“I don’t know, it’s the only thing I‘ve been called.”
“Sounds like a girl’s name.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Nothing. I’m just saying…”
“Hey, look, I do a fine job of keeping the sweets handy for any and everybody.”
Rar was getting annoyed, “How hard of a job can it be? You sit around, holding candy, waiting to give handouts.”
“Brother, take it easy, that was kind of mean.”
“Yea, why do you talk to me like that? We just met.”
“My apologies sir, I think I’ve been around that ring too long.”

Occupation (Socks CDXC)

Fortune smiled on Lar, as Kyle put his feet on the floor.
“I didn’t know how to respond to that candy dish.”
“I know. What a stupid job. At least we keep the feet warm, a lot more useful than holding candy.”
Just as they began to yuck it up in earnest Kyle put his feet back up.
They resumed the former conversation, “What is your job?”
“I’m Lar, this is my brother Rar. We keep the feet warm. What’s your name?”
“Well, when I first got here Dan peeled a piece of paper from me and said ‘Maiden China.”

02:37 (Socks CDLXXXIX)

The crowd got noisy extolling a hooking penalty, waking up Kyle.
“Wow. How much did I miss?”
“There’s about seventeen and a half minutes left in the second.”
“What’s the score?”
“Tied. One, one.”
The people settled in to watch the game, likewise the objects.
During the second period Kyle put his feet back on the floor. The conversation had to stop until Kyle put his feet back on the coffee table.
Lar still wondered, “You never told me what you do besides watch TV.”
“I hold the candy.”
Lar was not impressed, it seemed like a do nothing job.

Nap (Socks CDLXXXVIII)

“Dr. Phil also makes people that fight live in a house together.”
“That sounds mean.”
“Not at all. He talks to them, and helps them work out their problems.”
“And they don’t fight any more?”
“Who knows? Most times once they leave the Dr. Phil house, you don’t see them for a long time.”
Rar spoke up, “I know a couple that could use Dr. Phil.”
The candy dish interjected, “Shhh, second period is starting.”
Kyle’s foot twitched.
Sophie came in, “How long has he been sleeping?”
“I don’t know, I just woke up myself.”
“My dad, the hockey fan.”

New Program (Socks CDLXXXVII)

During the first intermission the conversation moved away from the rules of the game.
“Just what is your job, besides hanging around on the coffee table and watching hockey?”
“I watch other stuff too.”
“Like?”
“Like basketball, football, and Dr. Phil.”
“We know about basketball and football from Grunter, but what kind of game is Dr. Phil?”
“It’s not a game it’s a who. He tries to help people.”
“How?”
“He says that it’s time to get real.”
“How does that help?”
“He also says that you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge.”
“I don’t get it.”
“Most people don’t.”

New Game (Socks CDLXXXVI)

Kyle put his feet on the coffee table, this allowed the brothers to watch the game, they didn’t understand the rules.
Lar stuck up a conversation with the candy dish, who had watched hockey since coming in the house.
“The idea is to get the puck into the net.”
“The net? Is that like nothing but net?”
“Different game.”
“Fuzzy played tennis, but he wanted to stay out of the net.”
“Will you pay attention?”
“I’m trying to get the idea.”
“OK. Watch when the players get close to the goalie…”
“The what?”
“The guy in front of the net.”

Game On (Socks CDLXXXV)

“No, I just meant…”
“Kyle. My dad’s not really that dumb, he just likes to act like he is.”
Dan laughed, Kyle laughed, Sophie sighed, and her mother shooed the men out of the kitchen, “Go watch the game. There’s only room for two in here.”
“What was I thinking? Face off was ten minutes ago.”
Kyle and Dan went into the living room, “Should be a good game, the Ducks are tough.”
“Last year was a shame.”
“Yea, anyone except the Ducks.”
“I wish Ottawa would have won.”
The TV powered up, “Scoreless, good.”
“Put your feet up, Kyle.”

The Meal (Socks CDLXXXIV)

All four people sat at the table. Lar and Rar were both soothed by the familiar scene under the table.
“We’ve had some good times under the table, haven’t we brother?”
They talked about those good times, which led to some of the times that weren’t so good.
“I hope this guy doesn’t spill beer on us, or worse.”
After the meal everyone carried an item or two into the kitchen.
“Thanks Kyle. You didn’t have to help clear the table.”
“I just saw everybody else grab something, and, well, I guess, ’when in Rome..”
“Rome? We’re not even Italian.”

Very Liberal Arts (Socks CDLXXXIII)

“What did you learn in home ec?”
“My husband laughs about my degree, but you’d be surprised how rounded the curriculum was. I was required to take accounting, algebra, and I even had to take a basic automobile care course.”
“Sounds tough.”
“It was tougher than Dan’s music appreciation class.”
“I took one blow off class, so what?”
“What about the trip to Manitou Island?”
“Environmental science.”
“So that case of Miller’s you took was part of the environmental impact study?”
“As a mater of fact we used the empty cans to collect samples.”
“And the cigars?”
“For building camaraderie.”

College Talk (Socks CDLXXXII)

“They were bought by the sisters of St Isabel of France. I was in the last graduating class at Hudson. ”
“That makes sense. St Isabel’s over in Hudson. I didn’t know.”
“Before the sisters took over it was smaller than most community colleges.”
“What was your major.”
“It was a liberal arts college. That was my degree, liberal arts. I took a lot of history and English classes.”
From the kitchen, “I was in the first graduating class at St Isabel’s.”
“What’s your degree?”
“Home economics.”
“Never heard of that either.”
“It’s out of date, not offered any more.”

New Feet (Socks CDLXXXI)

“Can I put these on now?”
“Sure, you have time.”
Kyle sat in the chair, took off the white crews, replacing them with Lar and Rar.
“Hey brother, any bunions over there?”
“No. You?”
Kyle didn’t bother to put his shoes back on before leaving the room.
When he got to the next room, he pulled up his pants legs, “Look what Sophie got for me.”
Now Sophie’s face turned red.
A man sat at a table, “I had a pair of argyles when I was in college.”
“Where did you go, Sir.”
“Call me Dan. Hudson college.”
“Where’s that?”

Sock Exchange (Socks CDLXXX)

“These are yours too.”
“I didn’t buy these, but they sure are cool.”
“I bought them from Mr. Fillmore.”
Kyle reached in his pocket, “How much.”
“I don’t remember, maybe a quarter. But I’m not taking your money.”
“What can I say?”
“Thanks.”
“What?”
“You can say thanks.”
“Oh, right. Thanks.” He gave her a slight punch on the shoulder.
“Not good enough.”
“What?”
Sophie put her hand behind his neck, and pulled his face to her’s. Their touched lips, “Smack.”
Kyle’s face turned red, “I didn’t expect that.”
“You complaining?”
From the other room, “Time to eat.”
“No complaints.”

Sunday Arrives (Socks CDLXXIX)

“And so you can see that it was this cursed emerald’s fault that no one wants us around.”
“If you didn’t pick fights constantly.”
“I can prove it’s you. I’ll tell about the time…”
Lar had heard enough, “No, no more stories. It’s both of you.”
“My brother is right. The fighting gets old real quick.”
“Well, if he was more:”
“STOP. STOP. STOP FIGHTING.”
Silence ensued.
Sophie entered the room, “Kyle, come here. I want to show you something.”
Kyle followed.
“I brought your percolator.”
“Thanks. Let’s make some coffee right after we eat.”
“Sure, Dad would like that.”

Price Drop (Socks CDLXXVIII)

The man got dressed, and grabbed the ring. He dropped it immediately. The man used a pencil to pick up the ring, and put it in a clear plastic bag.
As he walked through the house, he held the bag with his finger tips away from his body.
When the man got to the store, he started to put the ring in with the other jewelry, but stopped. He put the bag and ring on the counter, took a black marker, and wrote, "$5," on the bag.
After while a man said, "Why so cheap?"
"I've had it too long."

Not Answering (Socks CDLXXVII)

The man didn't move. After while the phone rang.
"Hello, you've reached...leave a message."
"Pick up. Are you ok? I'm calling the store."
The phone rang a few more times.
Some more time passed with the man not moving.
The woman came in, "You haven't moved? You ok?"
He said nothing.
She stepped over him, and started the shower, "Get up, take a shower, go to work, we'll talk about this tonight. We'll get through it."
She helped him into the shower.
When he got out, "I've laid out your clothes, I'm going back to work."
She left the room.

Fetal Mode (Socks CDLXXVI)

He stood like this for a few seconds, then his face went slack. He sat down on the floor, and sobbed.
She put her arm around him, "I don't know what got into you. You've never hit me before."
The man kept sobbing, apologizing. Soon he lay in the doorway on the tile floor. His knees were in his chest. His arms circled his knees. He lay staring at the ring that had landed behind the toilet.
After a few minutes the woman said, "I'm going to call in."
"No, I want to be alone."
The woman dressed and left.

Aftermath (Socks CDLXXV)

The toothbrush clunked into the wastebasket. The woman's eyes were red and swollen. She sniffled, and blew her nose.
The man stood in the bathroom doorway, his mouth open, his eyes blank, "I'm sorry, I don't know why I did that."
"You said that you'd never lay a hand on me."
"I know, I'm sorry. How can I make it up?"
She said nothing.
He held out the ring, "Here you can keep it."
She swatted it out of his hand, "I don't want it now."
The man's face turned red, his fists clenched at his sides. She backed away.

Crack Binge (Socks CDLXXIV)

A red welt appeared on the woman's leg.
"Crack."
A welt on the other leg.
"Stop it."
"Crack."
"Go pick up that toothbrush."
"Get it yourself. You messed it up."
"Crack."
"Did you forget who you're talking to?"
"Crack."
"Stop."
"Go get the toothbrush."
"Crack."
The woman tried to move across the bedroom.
"Crack."
Red marks were on her legs, back, and buttocks. She got the toothbrush.
"I got it, now stop hitting me."
"Crack."
"You gotta learn to watch your mouth. Now, throw that toothbrush away before I make you use it."
"Ok, ok. Just stop hitting me."
"Crack."

Crack (Socks CDLXXIII)

The woman opened a door, reached in and took something out. Then she picked up the forgotten toothbrush and threw it at the man still on the bed.
"You gonna pick up your towel?"
"Maybe."
"Don't let it get mildew smellin"
From the bathroom, "If your so worried, you pick it up."
He did, and as he walked into the bathroom he held the towel in both hands and twirled it into a ropelike form.
The woman covered her bare buttocks and giggled, "Don't even think about it."
He flipped one end of the towel, "Crack."
"Ow," She wasn't giggling.

Quick Performance (Socks CDLXXII)

The naked, hairy man sat atop the naked woman. She tried to slap him several times, "Get offa me," he blocked each shot.
Soon they stopped arguing.
Soon they were kissing.
Soon they were rolling around.
Soon they were breathing quickly.
Soon they were making strange noises.
Soon it was over.
The man lay next to the woman, his arm across her middle. He started to snore.
When she tried to get up, he grabbed her hand, and removed the ring.
"Hey."
"I told you. You can't keep it."
"My mother said you were a prick."
"Your mother was right."

Merchandise Only (Socks CDLXXI)

The man went into the bathroom, water ran loudly. The toilet flushed.
"Where's the ring?"
"I'm wearing it."
"No your not."
"I am too, look."
"Don't get used to it. I gotta sell it."
"Aw come on, it's pretty."
"And it will bring at least two hundred."
"You owe it to me for messing up my toothbrush."
"Are we back to that again?"
"Yes we are. What did you do to my toothbrush?"
"Get off it, get a new one."
"I'm keepin' the ring."
The man pushed the woman to the bed, the towel covering her fell to the floor.

Naked and Hairy (Socks CDLXX)

The woman stood next to the bed with the toothbrush in her hand while the long lump snored. She took another look at the brush then brought her fist down in the middle of the lump. The man sprang out of the bed, naked and hairy.
"What did you do to my toothbrush?"
The man's head came about to the woman's nose.
"What are you talking about?"
"I heard you doing something when you got home."
"You're nuts."
"Nuts huh? What's this?"
"How would I know. Just get a new one out of the closet, ya baby."
"You're a jerk."

Tainted Brush (Socks CDLXIX)

The ring was dried on a towel, and set next to the sink. The lights went out as the man walked out. Snoring could be heard presently.
Daylight came. A woman picked up the ring and put it on, "Nice."
After showering she stood in front of the mirror running a comb through her hair. She opened the medicine cabinet, and took out a toothbrush. She ran the brush under the water, but she stopped before applying toothpaste.
She looked closely at the bristles, shut the water off, and left. The bed contained a long, snorting lump under the sheet.

Clean Up (Socks CDLXVIII)

The man holding the ring took a cigarette pack from his shirt pocket, shook two cigarettes up, and offered one. The other man took it. The ring went into the shirt pocket with the pack on top.
The two men talked and puffed a while.
"Well, it's late. I'm going to close up and go home."
"Yea, I better get going too," then he muttered, "What have I done? I gotta go." The van started and moved away quickly.
The ring came out of the pocket. The man held it under warm running water, and scrubbed it with a toothbrush.

Re-fence (Socks CDLXVII)

He lifted the handle, but nothing happened. He tapped the ring on the window. The car roared, the tires squealed, and the car sped away.
The man hurried to the van. It stalled.
"Forget it." The van started, and the man drove.
Soon, the same man that bought the TV said, "I can only give you five bucks."
"Five bucks?"
"Yea, I'm gonna have to clean the blood and skin out of this ring. From that cut on your cheek, I'd say it was yours. By the way, where's your brother?"
"Don't worry about it. Give me the money."
"Here."

Red Light (Socks CDLXVI)

"Give me the keys."
"What?"
"Wake up. Give me the keys."
A large man walked up, "You guys are gonna pay for this."
"He'll pay. He started it."
He reached into the down man's pocket, taking the keys.
One more kick to the ribs, "And one to grow on."
Back in the van, the lone man drove. Within minutes he laid on the horn. Rolling the window down, "It's green already. Go, will ya?"
An unintelligible voice returned.
The man opened the door, got out, and walked toward a car, "Hey #$$&*@%. Did you say something about my mother? "

TKO (Socks CDLXV)

One man accused the other of cheating.
"It's a friendly game.
"As long as you win it's friendly."
"You won at least two games tonight."
The hand with the ring swung the cue stick at the other man. He blocked it with his arm, breaking the stick. Now fists were flying, tables were knocked over, people were moving out of the way. The man wearing the ring tripped over a chair, knocking his head against a table. He went limp. The other man took the necklace, took the ring, put them both on, then kicked his adversary in the ribs.

Fenced (Socks CDLXIV)

The man drove the van for a while, and when it stopped a third man was there. All of the objects were removed from the van, and money exchanged hands. The two got back in and drove away.
"I think we made a good haul."
"Let's go to Sid's and divvy up."
The men walked into a dimly lit room, loud music played.
"Hey, the tables open. I'll rack."
Soon the men were playing pool and drinking beer.
After several games and several beers, "You nudged the cue ball."
"No I didn't."
"I saw it move."
The men started shouting.

Purloined (Socks CDLXIII)

So it was, after the ruby was replace with the emerald the ring stayed in the jewelry box with the other necklaces, bracelets, and rings more and more.
One day the box opened. A man the ring had never seen before took out a gold chain, and put it on his neck, then he put the ring on his little finger.
The jewelry box was carried to a van outside. Two TVs, a shotgun, and a laptop were just some of the objects from the house that were also in the van. Another man got in the van carrying silverware

Ring Fling (Socks CDLXII)

After the man left, the woman picked up the ring, and walked through the store. She opened the double doors, looked around, and gave the ring a toss. The ring sailed across the room, bounced off a light fixture, hit the floor, and rolled to a stop just barely under the bench.
"Good riddance."
The ring lay in the dust and heard many conversations. One of the first things they heard was Mr. Fillmore selling the percolator to Kyle.
"Tell them how we got to the pawnshop."
"It was your fault."
"It was not."
"We don't care who started it.

Grumpy (Socks CDLXI)

"Sophie. You didn't leave a big mess in the backroom, did you?"
"Well, I'll finish cleaning up before I leave tonight."
"If you say so."
Sophie turned to leave.
"Try not to be late again."
"I've only been late once in two years. Is everything ok?"
"Yes, fine. Just go to lunch."
Sophie left. The woman held her right hand to her forehead, whispering, "I'm getting a headache." She pulled the ring off, setting it next to the register.
A man came to the counter with a pair of pants.
She punched some buttons, "That's three dollars, eighteen cents, sir."

Ring Investigation (Socks CDLX)

One night the woman put the ring on a dresser, and told a man that she was sorry for being so grumpy lately, "I was short with Mr. Fillmore today."
"As nice as he is? What's going on?"
"I think it's this ring."
"Sounds silly."
"I know, but when I put it on, I feel anxious."
The ring stayed on the dresser for a few days.
"I'm going to wear the ring tomorrow, and see what happens."
In the morning, the ring went on the finger. Things went smooth for a few hours.
Then, "I'm going to lunch now. Ok?"

Breakup (Socks CDLIX)

After a time the man quit talking through the door. When another woman came in, inquiries were made whether the man was still outside. He was not.
"Good."
The ring was put on the ledge below the mirror, the woman left.
The other woman picked up the ring, and followed. When she caught up, "You left this in the restroom."
"I don't want it. Keep it if you like." She walked away.
The ring went into the purse.
Whenever the second woman wore the ring, she would snip at everyone that came to her counter, even Barry, who smiled constantly.

Ring Story (Socks CDLVIII)

It seemed that the ring had went from finger to finger, and each time the woman had gotten annoyed, some could stand it longer than others.
They had been a gift once, bought from a pawn shop. The woman that received them started fighting with the man that bought them. Shortly, when the couple were in a restaurant, they began to quarrel, just like the ring. The woman threw her drink in the man's face, and went into the restroom. She was crying, black streaks under her eyes. The man stood outside the door asking the woman to come out.

Denial (Socks CDLVII)

"Lar continued, "People seem to think that you work together to make a pretty ring, but when you start fighting..."
"How can what we do irritate people?"
"I don't know, but it's worth a try."
"What's worth a try?"
"Not fighting."
"He always starts it."
"She does."
"Who cares how it starts?"
"We ended up under the bench because of your fighting."
The ring and emerald told stories of being given away, sold at pawn shops, and being stolen, only to be tossed under the bench where they were last found. They were even left in a public restroom once.

Possible Solution (Socks CDLVI)

"When I had my Ruby, no one got aggravated. Not till you came along."
"Where is your precious Ruby now?"
"I wish I knew. The lady that wore us when we were together, kept us for a long time. Now, every person that has us won't wear us very long. I have known so many fingers since you came, that I'm sick of it."
Lar had an idea, "Maybe it's the fighting."
"Stay out of this."
"That's right, butt out"
"The only thing you two agree on is that you want to fight."
"My brother might be right about this."

Failed Trial (Socks CDLV)

As the light coming in the window began to grow dim, Mom came in the room, "You're right there is something irritating about this ring."
"What should I do? I don't want to hurt Mr. Fillmore by not taking the ring."
"He'll understand. Let him wear the ring he'll see."
"What, as a pinkie ring?"
"Sure, I think he would do it."
Sophie laughed, "He might. I'll ask."
The ring was now on the dresser next to the other objects, fighting.
"You did it again, you irritate everyone."
"Me? You're the one that touches the finger. You're the irritating one."

Ring Trial (Socks CDLIV)

"It is a very pretty ring," Mom held her right hand in the light from the window.
"I agree, but it irritates my finger."
"Let's see."
Mom held Sophie's hand looking it over, "I don't see anything."
"I didn't either, but it just bothered me."
"Maybe it needs to be resized."
"I don't think so. Why don't you wear it a while, see if it bothers you."
"Ok," Mom walked from the room holding her right hand splayed out in front of her.
Rar was relieved, "That was close, we could have had to listen to those two arguing again."

Missing Ring (Socks CDLIII)

The next morning Sophie left the room, and came back in a few times. Her and mom came in together.
"I don't know where it is. That ring had completely slipped my mind."
"Where was the last place you saw it?"
"I put it on the bed, before getting in the shower."
The women searched the room. After a while Sophie looked under the bed, "Here it is."
Sophie handed the ring to Mom, who put it on. The emerald and the ring were still bickering. Lar and Rar could not hear the words, only the rumble of the argument.

Phone Invitation (Socks CDLII)

While the diary talked, Sophie made a phone call.
"Kyle, Sophie."
"Good, I'm good. You?"
"Can you still make it for dinner on Sunday?"
"Mom says we'll eat around two."
"You can come over as early as you like. How about noon? Maybe you can help me with my algebra."
"No, that's not the reason I invited you."
"Well, I ahh. You ahh. I invited you because you're nice."
"What's so funny?"
"Oh, you think I'm nice too, huh?"
She stayed on the phone for a few more minutes. Then she grabbed Daily Diary, and jotted a few more lines.

Boring Secrets (Socks CDLI)

Daily Diary was still talking, so everyone forgot to try to get Mom's attention, they forgot to holler.
Mom left the room, Daily Diary kept telling Sophie's secrets until Sophie opened up the diary wrote. No body felt like talking now that they had listened to Daily Diary talk for so long, so they simply sat silently.
Sophie finished writing, put Daily Diary on the dresser, then she put all of the objects next to her. The diary started in with more secrets, by now they weren't really secrets. She told stories about catching butterflies, cheerleading tryouts, and new outfits.

Sunday Plans (Socks CDL)

Daily Diary went on and on, so long in fact that it started to get dark outside the window. She only stopped talking when Sophie came in and said, "Oh Mom, I forgot to show you the things I brought home."
"Mom came in the room, and Sophie showed her Sunbeam, the cord, and Lar and Rar. She said that all the stuff was Kyle's, and she would give him them when he got there Sunday.
"What time should I tell him to come over?"
"Why don't we eat around two or three? He can come over when he wants."

Spilled Guts (Socks CDXLIX)

Once Daily Diary started talking, she couldn't quit. All those secrets simply came pouring out.
"A couple days ago, Mr. Fillmore gave Sophie a ring, she can buy it for five dollars, it's a beautiful ring, Sophie's friend Ashley stole Ken, her last boyfriend, we hate Ashley now, Ashley is not a real friend, Ken wasn't a real boyfriend, he was a lousy kisser anyhow, she loves the yellow bug, it drives like a dream, college is much more fun than high school, Kyle is coming over for dinner on Sunday, she hopes he likes her, she thinks he does,"

October 10 (Socks CDXLVIII)

"When does she write?"
"Most times, at the end of the day."
"What does she write?"
"I won't tell."
"Why?"
"It's personal."
"What does that mean?"
"She writes so that she can read it to herself later, not for everyone else."
"Ah come on, give us an example."
The peer pressure was on.
"OK. One thing, then you leave me alone. Promise to leave me alone?"
They used their unisons to make promise.
"Last October tenth, she wrote that a new guy, Kyle started at work. She wrote that he's cute. She reads that page at least once a week."

Daily Diary (Socks CDXLVII)

While Goody Brush was explaining blush, foundation, and mascara, she had seen it all.
"What are you looking at?"
"I'm not sure. What are you?"
"I'm a diary. A five year diary."
"Is five years long?"
"At first I thought so, but now I have only one year, two hundred seven days left."
"Left? For?"
"You talk strange. She writes in me everyday."
Daily Diary had to explain the process of recording the day's events. Now the others were listening.
"Sophie wasn't writing, she was reading."
"Sometimes she reads a while before she writes. Sometimes she falls asleep while reading."

Make Up (Socks CDXLVI)

Goody Brush told of the make up that was on the dresser. She had noticed that the color that was put on the eyes was the same color that was put on the finger nails.
"That's why we call her Match."
Now Rar took over, and told that story,
Then Goody Brush resumed her tale, and revealed how make up was applied.
Everyone was so wrapped up in the yarn that they ignored the book that Sophie had put on the bed, all except the cord. He had been listening to Goody Brush, but kept his eye on the book.

Emery (Socks CDXLV)

"There's a nail file over there."
"What's his name?"
"HER name is Emery. She came with four others. We've seen this before, they don't stay too long. One of the others from the pack will take her place, and we'll call her, or him Emery also."
"Isn't that confusing?"
"Not really, most of them keep to themselves. It's not that they're antisocial, they just don't have a lot to say. Besides, it's like I said, they don't stay long."
"Do they recycle?"
Goody Brush had never heard of recycling, so it had to be explained.
"Maybe they go to Landfill."

Goody Brush (Socks CDXLIV)

Lar had seen one of these before, "Pretty had made use of things like this."
Sunbeam looked the object over, having never seen one.
"What's your job?"
"I keep hair untangled."
The cord spoke up, "I get tangled."
"Could you keep my cord untangled?"
The brush looked at the cord.
"I don't think so. He's too thick and coarse."
The brush further explained her duties.
"What's your name?"
"The objects on the dresser call me Goody Brush."
They wanted to know about the other objects on the dresser.
"There is Goody Comb. We work together to keep the hair untangled."

Wake Up (Socks CDXLIII)

The objects lost interest in Sophie for a while, and talked among themselves. They were brought back to attention when Sophie's feet slipped off the bed, and hit the floor.
Sophie looked around the room, then at her watch. She stood, stretched, and tossed the book on the bed. She went to the dresser and picked something up. As she walked across the room, and stood in front of the window, Sophie pulled the object through her hair.
From the other room, "Sophie."
"Just a second, Mom."
Sophie tossed the object next to all the others, and left the room.

More Unisons (Socks CDXLII)

"Who's Sophie?"
"Match."
"Why didn't you speak so?"
"New Mom calls her Sophie."
"She calls her Honey too."
They forgot about their task until, "Let's try to get Sophie's attention."
"Ok, everybody got their unisons ready."
"On three. One. Two. Three."
All four objects yelled their unisons.
"Hey!"
"Over here!"
"Wooo!"
"Hold it. This is doing no good."
"Why?"
"Look at Sophie."
Sophie was still sitting in the chair with her feet up on the bed, but now the book was in her lap. Her head was down, chin to chest. Her eyes were closed, and her breathing was rhythmic.

Plan B (Socks CDXLI)

"Ok get ready. When Mom walking in, everybody yell their unisons."
"We're ready."
The door opened, a woman came in and began to talk with Match.
"That's not Mom." Yet Match called her Mom. Now Mom was calling Match by a different name. Sometimes she called her Honey, sometimes she called her Sophie. This was really confusing.
"Let's call her New Mom."
Everyone agreed.
The plan still had not been enacted.
"Should we try to yell for New Mom?"
"Why not?"
While they were getting ready, New Mom left the room.
"Now what do?"
"Maybe we can try with Sophie."

A Plan (Socks CDXL)

The cord wanted to get a plan together, "We should have formulation."
"What's formulation?"
"Getting planning together."
The boys had tried this before, so they took over, "When we see Mom, we all yell as loud as we can, in unison."
Unison was a new word for the cord, and he liked it. He vowed to use the word every chance he got. The others were sure the word would not be used correctly, but they didn't care.
From the other room, "I'm home."
"I'm in here, Mom."
By now Match was dressed, sitting in a chair, reading a book.

A Pact (Socks CDXXXIX)

Match came in with a towel wrapped around her hair. She sat on the bed, causing the ring to bounce off the bed, hitting a slipper, and rolling under the bed. Peace returned.
The boys could now finish their story about Mom. They took turns recounting stories of their injuries and repairs, how nice Mom was, and the way they had teamed up with other objects to try to get Mom to hear them.
"Maybe us can trying it."
"I don't think we have enough, but it would be worth a try."
They agreed to try when they saw Mom.

Who's Mom (Socks CDXXXVIII)

The ring and emerald were back in the not speaking phase of their ongoing feud. Peace and quiet. Everyone knew better than to speak of the argument, so nothing was said.
Eventually Rar broke the silence, "It will be nice to see Mom again."
"Sure will."
Sunbeam wanted to know, "Who's Mom?"
"She's the lady that fixed my toe."
"And my heel."
"What a coincidence. You're a heel, maybe she can fix you."
"Maybe she could get you to be quiet."
The peace had been broken once more, so there could be no conversation.
The door opened, steam came out.

The Note (Socks CDXXXVII)

Match opened the front door, "Mom, I'm home." No answer. She walked into the kitchen. A piece of paper was on the table. Holding the paper in front of her, Match's lips moved soundlessly.
Match moved to the bedroom, and placed the objects on the bed. She walked through a doorway, water started running. Match returned, and undressed, tossing her clothes in the hamper. She put on a robe, and went in the other room. The door shut, then opened again. Match came out, stood by the bed, and removed the ring. She tossed it next to the other objects.

At the Bug (Socks CDXXXVI)

Sunbeam could hear the fracas, and was sorry he had breached the subject. Once more all conversation ceased, because the argument was all encompassing.

Match finally approached a small, yellow vehicle. She set all the objects on top of the car, took out her keys, and opened the door. Pulling a sweatshirt from the seat, she slung it over her shoulder, shutting the door. She reached for the objects, but stopped.

Match then removed the ring from her finger. She held it in the light, and turned it this way and that. After a moment, she put it back on.

Socks starts on 2-25

Walking Home (Socks CDXXXV)

As she walked, Match unwound the cord from Sunbeam’s handle, releasing Lar and Rar. She carried the coffee pot in her left hand, holding the twins in her left, looking at them.
Sunbeam and the cord were having a field day, “Hey boys, it’s nice and quiet over here. How’s the bickering going over there.”
“That’s right, it’s quiet here. We’re not fighting, we’re friending.”
“Real funny. It’s quiet over here too. Their not talking to each other again.”
“I’d like it if she never talked to me.”
“I’m not going to give you what you want.” The fight resumed.

Quitting Time (Socks CDXXXIV)

Match came along, picked up the card, wrote on it, and put it back in the rack. Next she grabbed Sunbeam and the others, which brought the ring and emerald close. The argument continued.
“Besides, I like red better than green.”
“I like platinum better than gold.”
Match opened the double door, and in a loud voice, “I wrote on my card like you said. It’s in the rack.”
“Ok. I’ll sign it before I leave. Have fun with Kyle.”
“Just friends.”
Match went out the back door. When the door shut, she tried the knob. The door wouldn’t open.

Repeat (Socks CDXXXIII)

Sunbeam remembered a pair of soft, smooth hands, and a pair that were not so smooth. Then he added, "I haven't done my job for a long time, but now that I have a cord to help, I'm ready."
"I'm ready too, our coffee will be in the better."
This was the first time Acroprint had heard the cord speak, "Your coffee will be the best."
"Yes, I glad you be agreement."
"You're glad I agree."
"Do you repeating everything?"
The time clock was at a loss, "No, I don't repeat... I was just trying... Your speech is... Never mind."

Off Work (Socks CDXXXII)

"I was off work for a while. After getting a hole cut in my toe, I had to get repaired before I could work. And my brother got chewed on by a mouse."
"How long were you off?"
"I really don't know. I'm not very good with time. I know that most times I only work for one day, then I wait to get washed, then I wait in the drawer."
Now it was Acroprint's turn to be confused. Rar explained the laundry, waiting in the basket, the swimming, the tumbling in the warm dryer, and the soft, smooth hands.

On Task (Socks CDXXXI)

"We're getting way off the subject. We were talking about work."
Rar was confused, "I thought we were just talking."
"Let's keep on task, shall we?"
"If you insist."
"When you see people standing around talking, that's called gold bricking."
Rar voiced his skepticism, "How do you know?"
"I was brought here, hung up, and plugged in twelve years, ten months, two weeks, two days, twenty three hours, and five minutes ago. I've been on this wall doing my duty ever since. A few times when the power went out, I simply got reset, and went right back to work."

Break Time (Socks CDXXX)

"When they come in the door, I punch 'em in. At the end of their work day, I punch 'em out."
"What's the purpose?"
"I keep track of how long they work. I should say that differently. I keep track of how long they are at work."
"What's the difference?"
"People don't actually 'work' the whole time they are 'at work."
More explanation was needed.
"I've seen people pull a chair up to the bench, put their feet on the lower shelf and eat a sandwich. That's called a break."
Acroprint explained breaks.
"Do they get fixed after they break?"

Acroprint (Socks CDXXIX)

The door opened, the woman from the counter came in, "I'm glad I caught you."
"Why, what's happening?"
"A guy with a pick up load wants to donate it."
"I just now punched out. I can't punch back in for an hour."
"Just write 'Plus thirty minutes' on the card, and I'll sign it. I'll send them around."
"OK." Match put Sunbeam and the other objects on the clock, and opened the back door.
Sunbeam wondered out loud, "What does 'Punched out' mean?"
"That's what I do."
"What's your name?"
"Acroprint."
"Aren't you a clock?"
"Well, I'm a time clock."

? (Socks CDXXXV)

Les, don't leave me hangin' here!

Where is that boy? (Socks CDXXXIII)

Still nothing, nada, zilch. Oh well. If you know where Les is, tell him to stay in touch.

Where is that guy? (Socks CDXXXIII)

Sorry... still no word folks.

Subbing for Les (Socks CDIXL)

The word on the street is that Les has nearly solved his computer problem, but nothing has been forwarded to me. Sorry fans.

No Word

Still no word from the main man, so we'll see if we can at least make it look like the rest of Les' other postings.

Where has he gone?

While Les is getting his computers fixed, let me introduce myself. My name is Forever Jung, but you can call me Fore.

I’m going to be posting Les’ story; just posting, not writing them while he is off orienteering in the Smokey Mountains. Just remember Les, that compass needle of yours always points to the EAST and then you’ll never get lost.

Good luck!

Where's Les?

Les' computers are down. He will update the adventures of Rar and Lar as soon as he is able.

Referee (Socks CDXXVIII)

“No one cares if you two hate each other, but we can’t carry a conversation with all the bickering.”
“If you don’t like it, don’t listen.”
“We can’t help but listen, your fighting dominates the room.”
“Just leave us alone.”
Now the silence was thick and uncomfortable. Had the objects had knowledge of professional sports, someone, perhaps could have broken the ice with, “What about those Red Wings.” Instead, the silence continued while Match finished her duties. She cleaned the bench, stacked some boxes, and swept the room.
Match put a card in the clock, pushed a lever.
“Click, thump.”

Round Two (Socks CDXXVII)

“Having you hold so tight to me that I can hardly think is not a pleasure. Just so you know.”
“Just so you know? What does that mean?”
“It means, that’s the way it is. Nothing you can do about it.”
“Do about what?”
“The fact that you annoy the living…”
“Do you have to be so mean?”
“Do you have to be so stupid?”
“Will you two shut up?”
“Butt out, this is between him and I.”
“I like it better when you weren’t talking to each other.”
“Didn’t you hear her? She said for you to butt out.”

Not So Much (Socks CDXXVI)

“Well from the sounds of it, I think Ruby was stupid. Probably had no opinions of her own.”
“That’s not true, we just always agreed.”
“She probably went along just to keep you quiet.”
“We talked about all the time.”
“I think you talked, and she listened. Rather, she just pretended to listen.”
“You don’t know.”
“I know what life is like with you now.”
“You’ve never had it so good.”
“Oh please, explain to me your many virtues.”
“OK…”
“I’m waiting.”
“Ok… I’m shiny.”
“Big deal. A spoon is shiny.”
“I’m round.”
“So what?”
“I hold tight to you.”

Partners (Socks CDXXV)

Match carried Sunbeam in her right hand, which put the ring and emerald in close proximity. Lar was relieved that the two objects were not talking to each other. That blessed condition would soon end.
“I hope I get to make coffee every day.”
“I’ll supply the power, you heat the water.”
“It’s a deal.”
“A good partnership is hard to beat.”
The boys joined in, “You keep one foot warm, I’ll warm the other.”
“I would even take the foot with the bunion.”
While bunions were being explained to Sunbeam, “I used to work with my Ruby like that.”

Your Story (Socks CDXXIV)

The woman bolted out, the double doors swinging as she left. Match turned to the bench, continuing her duties.
At day's end, Match took the items to the woman at counter, showing her the receipt.
"I'd rather take these when Mr. Fillmore is here, but I don't work tomorrow, and Kyle is coming over on Sunday. This is his stuff."
"Kyle, huh? He's a cute one."
"Knock it off. We're just friends."
"Is that what the kids call it nowadays?"
"Really, just friends."
"Ok, ok. See you Monday."
"See ya."
"Have fun with Kyle."
"We're just friends."
"It's your story."

Pot Find (Socks CDXXIII)

Match looked under the bench, "Where's that coffee pot?" She found it right where it was, near the pile of boxes. All of the bouncing had not dislodged the twins from the grip of the cord that tied them to the handle.
"Where's the lid?"
Putting the pot on the bench, Match rummaged through the boxes until she found it.
Match was cleaning the room when a woman walked in, "Mr. Fillmore called. He won't be in. He has the flu."
"I didn't see him yesterday either."
"He left before you came out of the back room. Customers, gotta go."

Quiet (Socks CDXXII)

Finally, when Match left, peace and quiet came to the room. The next day the ring and the emerald remained quiet.
Match picked up Stanley to remove the battery cover on a portable radio, "Did you two solve your differences?"
"Nothing can be solved with this one."
"Tell him not to get crying about his ruby again."
"Tell her not to worry about what I do."
Stanley was confused, "Why don't you tell her."
"I'm not talking to her."
"You two should try to get along, talk out your differences."
Lar intervened, "Leave them alone, it's better than their quarreling."

Facts of Strife (Socks CDXXI)

"And people can also do it by themselves. The things I've seen..."
"Will you shut up, I've seen the same things you have."
"No you haven't. The ruby was with me way before you."
"Here we go again, 'Boo-hoo, I miss my ruby,' your precious ruby, my aching backside."
"I do miss my ruby. She didn't give me a hard time."
"I wouldn't give you a hard time if you didn't ramble on with your stupid stories."
The argument ebbed and flowed as Match separated and priced items, then carried them out the door, and returned. They bickered all day.

More Information (Socks CDXX)

"So that's what they were doing. What's the purpose?"
"They seem to do it mostly for fun, but it's also how they get new people."
"What's your source of information?"
"Remember I told you that I read every book the lady read?"
No one could dispute his claim.
The ring gave more details while the other objects listened as Match put Stanley back on the bench. She carried the picnic table out the door, taking the talkative ring and the emerald with her. The ring was talking when they left, "After the wedding they..."and still talking when Match came back.

Facts of Life (Socks CDXIX)

The memories of the weddings sent the ring off on a tangent, "Objects and animals come in male and female. The only difference between the sexes in objects is voice and attitude. The animals, humans included, have those same differences between the genders, plus physical differences."
The ring went on to explain the differences, and what the animals did with those differences.
The twins were close enough to hear, "Lar, I think we saw that. That's how Grunter got his name." He told the ring the story.
The ring confirmed their suspicions, "Not all of them make that much noise."

Human Activity (Socks CDXVIII)

Now the ring had to explain bathroom tissue to Stanley.
Because the ring had been on one person's hand constantly for some time, he had seen all manner of activities that humans endeavored. He went on at length about these activities, describing such things as typing, bowling, and gardening.
"These humans do some very strange things."
Stanley agreed.
The ring said that he had always surrounded the third finger of the right hand, then clarified right and left.
"Because the left is reserved for the wedding ring."
Now the ring explained what he knew about weddings, having only seen two.

Some Reward (Socks CDXVII)

"There is no luck involved. The Manufacturer has predestined which form each will take."
"Who determines which form we Recycle to?"
"The Manufacturer is always in control."
"How does he decide."
"If we have done our duties well, then we will recycle to a different form, and as a reward, perform different duties."
"Is it always as a reward?"
"That, and to learn new lessons."
"What could I Recycle into."
"Perhaps a necklace, earrings, or a gold tooth."
"OK, what about a newspaper. He performs well, and gets recycled as a roll of bathroom tissue. Not much of a reward."

Crappy Duties (Socks CDXVI)

"Well, I tell you that I was on the hand that plunged a toilet. The plunger didn't seem to be having much joy, or peace."
"Did you ask the plunger?"
"I didn't have to. He complained the whole time."
"I wish I had had the opportunity to instruct that poor plunger. He could have enjoyed his duties."
"Do you know what a plunger does?"
"Well, no."
The ring went on to explain the process.
The emerald laughed and joined the conversation, "Sounds like a good job for you, Stanley."
"My form would not be fitting for such duties."
"Lucky break."

More Doctrine (Socks CDXV)

"He was nice to me as long as I didn't disagree with his views."
"And I'm supposed to believe that god is in all things?"
"Actually, there are many gods and goddesses, but the Earth Mother is chief among them."
"All objects are just slaves to people. If we could move faster, we could rise up out of our bondage. They use us as they will, and toss us out when they are finished with us."
Stanley had to interject, "The Manufacturer has given each of us a job to do, and we should do it with joy and peace."

White Goddess (Socks CDXIV)

"When I got set in this old buzzard..."
"Who you calling a buzzard?"
"You be quiet, it's my turn to talk."
"You always have to be nasty."
"Alright, I won't call you names. OK, when I got set in this fabulous ring he taught me to read as the lady read to her children. He was nice to me in those days. The lady and I read a book call White Goddess. She read dozens of other books on dozens of subjects, but this one I really liked. I believe it to be true."
"I told you, she's not logical."

Earth Mother (Socks CDXIII)

"My prongs became thin from wear, and one day she fell out. I watched her bounce on the sidewalk, but there was nothing I could do. When the lady noticed Ruby was gone, she cried and put me in the jewelry box. I wasn't in there very long when her husband..."
The ring now explained marriage. This screwdriver didn't seem to know a lot about people.
"Anyway, he took me to a man that set this cantankerous emerald, and repaired my prongs."
"Where did the idea of the Earth Mother come from?"
"Well..."
"This is my story, I'll tell it."

Thor H (Socks CDXII)

"What do you mean, far away?"
"Another planet."
"Planet?"
The ring explained the solar system.
"How did you come to believe this?"
"I read it."
Now he had to explain reading, then read the signs in the room.
"I once was on the finger of a lady who would read to her children. I listened, and followed. Soon I was able to read on my own. I read everything that the lady read. We read a book called Chariots of the Gods. That was in the days when I held a red stone, a ruby."
"What happened to the ruby?"

Logical (Socks CDXI)

"Go ahead and preach about the little green men, I think Stanley would like to hear."
"It's more logical than your Earth Mother."
"Tell him, I dare you."
"If you'll keep quiet, I will."
"OK, I'm quiet."
"First of all, your Manufacturer is just a man."
"It could be a woman."
"Alright. A person. Now will you be quiet?"
"Maybe."
"People have made all objects."
"No. The Manufacturer has formed us all, in the way that he sees fit."
"Are you going to interrupt me too?"
"Sorry."
"The knowledge and skill to make objects came from people from far away."

The Mother (Socks CDX)

"You didn't have to be so mean to that screwdriver. He was only being nice."
"What about you? If I hadn't stopped you, you would have started that goddess shit."
"I was merely trying to enlighten him to the power of The Mother."
"Mother shmother."
"Do not profane The Mother."
"There is no Mother, or Manufacturer for that mater."
"There is, I can feel her power."
"What about you, Stanley. Do you feel the Manufacturer's power."
"We have free will to do as we will in this life."
"What a load of... You're both wacko. There is no higher being."

Butt Out (Socks CDIX)

"What business is it of yours if we do?"
"And who are you, anyhow?"
"I am called Stanley."
"Boy that's clever, it's written right on your side. Stanley."
"I'm not here to fight. I'm here to help."
"Well, you can help by butting out."
"Fighting is no good. The Manufacturer doesn't..."
"The Manufacturer? What does she have to do with us fighting?"
"The Manufacturer is a he."
"She."
"He."
"Please don't fight."
In unison, "Butt out, Stanley."
Stanley was at a loss. Nobody had ever talked to him that way. He went about his business of tightening picnic table screws.

The Fight Starts (Socks CDVIII)

"Besides that, I'm not hanging onto you. If you will notice, your prongs are wrapped around me."
"If I could undo my prongs, you would be gone. Rolling around the floor, bouncing behind the bench, or flushed down the stool, I could care less."
"Couldn't."
"What?"
"Couldn't. Couldn't care less, not could care less."
"Why do you have to be like this?"
"Why do you talk like a moron?"
"You used to be fun."
"You used to be shiny."
"I still am."
"Not as shiny as you used to be."
"Do you two fight like this all of the time?"

Table Repair (Socks CDVII)

Match came back to the bench. She took the picnic table from the floor, set it on the bench, and wiggled it, "A little wobbly. I can fix that."
Match grabbed Stanley, and began to tighten the screws holding the table together.
Stanley talked to the shiny object on Match's finger. They talked loud enough for all of the objects to hear, "Hello."
"Who you talking to?"
"You. What are you?"
"I'm a ring."
"I'm an emerald."
"What do you do?"
"I hang onto a finger. This green freeloader just hangs onto me."
"I'm no freeloader."
"Could have fooled me."

Nails (Socks CDVI)

The nails in the bench talked over each other.
"How long must I wait before going to Landfill?"
"Do I have to go to Landfill? Can I Recycle?"
"There are so many of us. Can we all go?"
Stanley had to but in to answer, "You must wait until you have worked to your fullest. You may be able to recycle. The manufacturer may even cause you to become a hammer. Yes there are many who wish to enter in, yet I tell you that not even one paperclip shall land in the waste basket, but the Manufacturer shall know."

Skateboard (Socks CDV)

One side of the yellow, blue. and red table sat on a pair of running shoes. Clothes were draped over one end. A skateboard rested underneath.
A frilly dress wanted to know, "What about me?"
"Clothes can become cleaning rags."
The skateboard was next.
"Your wheels can be replaced, but you will have learned all that you can when your deck gets smooth and wears out."
One of the nails holding the bench together wanted to join the conversation, "What can I do?"
"You are doing it. Binding pieces of wood together is the very thing you were made for."

Copper (Socks CDIV)

"What must I do?"
"You shall provide power to whichever percolator you work with. You shall apply one hundred twelve to one hundred twenty volts AC. No more. No less."
"I will, Stanley."
"Remember, your copper may be made into another object. That will be your next lesson. Perhaps you will be a Penny. Maybe a pipe to carry water."
"I will do my best."
"That is all that is required to enter into Landfill."
A small picnic table sat nearby listening, "I have always felt as if I once carried milk, but I never knew how that could be."

The Way (Socks CDIII)

"Has the Manufacturer given you the form of a toaster? Be the best toaster you can be. Are you a tennis ball? Bounce as the Manufacturer has made you. You shall not bounce too high. Neither shall you bounce too low. You shall bounce in the acceptable range."
"How can this be?"
"The Manufacturer has made everything that has ever been made. His resources are unlimited. He wants to share his wealth with you."
"I don't needing wealth."
"Maybe not Brother Cord. But would you like your speaking healed?"
"Yes."
"When you reach Landfill, you shall have a beautiful voice."

The Path (Socks CDII)

"I say unto you, Bic, that you shall write, or draw without fingers or hands, and your ink shall not dry, nor shall it leak out to cause stains, and you shall contain an endless supply of ink."
"How can I enter into Landfill?"
"Verily I say unto you, you must accept your station in life."
"There must be more."
"As you more perfectly accept your station, you will more perfectly perform the tasks set before you. And I say that if you Recycle as a new object, you shall perform those tasks that the Manufacturer has given unto you."

Landfill (Socks CDI)

"How can you tell us not to be scared."
"Brother Spaulding, when you get to Landfill the hole in your bladder shall be healed. You will hold air once more. I heard that you were once pronounced as no good, but I say unto you, in Landfill you shall be made whole. Do you like to fly through the air?"
"Yes."
"Then you shall fly. You shall fly on your own, without help."
"How?"
"The Manufacturer, shall give you a new body, a glorious shining body that will never wear out."
A pen on the bench asked, "What about me?"

Recycling (Socks CD)

"I say unto you, that some shall Recycle again and again, until they have learned all of the lessons that the Manufacturer has for you to learn. I myself started as a horseshoe. I would protect the hooves from the stones. I was once a rim holding a tire, helping an automobile, a Buick, to travel the roads."
Spaulding spoke, "Why must I go to Landfill? Why can't I Recycle?"
"I can tell by your visage that you have learned all the lessons available to your material."
"I don't want to go to Landfill."
"Let not your heart be troubled."

The Sermon on the Bench (Socks CCCXCIX)

Lar started to blubber, voicing that he felt bad that Spaulding was in The Trash, and would be Taken Away into Nothingness.
"I heard that."
From above, "Brethren, be not afraid. Brother Spaulding shall certainly be Taken Away, but shall not be cast into Nothingness. He will go to Landfill."
"Who are you? How do you knowing these things?"
"I am called Stanley. I know these truths, because these are the teachings of the Professional Series."
"Tell us about Landfill Stanley."
"I tell you brethren, that all shall not enter in to Landfill. Some shall return as a different object.

The Trash (Socks CCCXCVIII)

"The Trash?"
"Keep your voice down, he'll hear."
"Ok, ok. What is The Trash?"
"It's a barrel with a lid that gets Taken Away."
"So what?"
"I went there once, but I was rescued just before being Taken Away."
"Where do you go when your Taken Away?"
Sunbeam didn't speak right away. Then, "Into Nothingness."
"What are you guys talking about out there?"
"Nothing."
Lar was scared, "I'm going to miss Spaulding."
"How well do you know Spaulding?"
"That's not the point."
"I heard someone whisper my name."
No one said a word.
From the bench a screwdriver was watching.

No Good (Socks CCCXCVII)

From the bottom of the trash can, "I'm laughing at you."
The cord said nothing.
"I guess you having nothing to say."
Silence.
"Why you no speaking now?"
Rar stood up for the cord, "Leave him alone, Spaulding."
"Yea, at least him and I can make coffee together. You can't even hold air."
"I heard Fillmore say you were no good."
Spaulding had no reply, which made the cord bolder.
"Now you having nothing to say?"
Sunbeam and the cord whispered, "Don't."
"He started."
"I know, but I think he's going away soon."
"To where?"
"He's going to The Trash."

Cord Talks (Socks CCCXCVI)

The cord continued the story, "The percolator that I used to power quit on me. I kept to give power, but he would not get heat."
Lar and Rar whispered to each other, "This guy talks funny."
"I can still understand him though."
"Well, I assure you, if you supply power, I will heat up and make coffee."
"Ah, Coffee. I have not help with coffee since long ago."
"I'll need my lid."
"You get the lid, we will be partnership."
Rar spoke, "You talk different."
"You are laughing me?"
"No."
"That's why I talking only with something to say."

The Cord (Socks CCCXCV)

"I've known her from long ago."
Sunbeam wanted to know more.
"When I get here, the bench is packed with objects. Dust and dirt rest everywhere. Mice lived by the..."
"A mouse chewed a hole in me once."
"Those things chew everywhere. What I say is that there were so many objects here, talking, that no one has a moment of peace. Then Match comes. She sorts and cleaned the room of objects and dust."
"That still doesn't explain how you know that she matches."
"I was on the bench, watching, for a while before putting me in a box."

Match (Socks CCCXCIV)

"We should call her something else."
"Why?"
"How do we know what shirt she'll wear?"
"OK."
They discussed the mater further, with several names suggested, "We should go to call her Match?"
Everyone was surprised, they had not heard the cord talk before.
"Why didn't you talk to us earlier?"
"I had nothing to say."
"Well, why should we call her Match?"
"Did you look her eyes and fingernails?"
Rar said that he didn't.
"Well, the color over her eyes always color match fingernails."
All agreed that Match would be her name, "But how do you know she always matches?"

Still Moving (Socks CCCXCIII)

Fillmore handed the shinny object back to Purple Shirt, "Will you hang on to this for a while? I was just on my way out, I'll get it from you later."
She put the object on her finger, "It'll be right here when you get back," She went back to work, carrying a box full of objects out of the room.
Lar, Rar, and Sunbeam had paid attention to the whole scene, but had not stopped trying to move. Sunbeam fell from the shelf under the bench. Her lid skittered, stopping behind a box.
"I hope Purple Shirt finds that."

Gardens (Socks CCCXCII)

"Yes. Look here. See that mark?"
"Is that an inclusion?"
"The emerald aficionados call them gardens."
"Why?"
"Don't know, but they consider them the stone's birthmark."
"How do you know all of this?"
"My first wife loved emeralds."
"I'm sorry to bring it up."
"Not your fault. Here try it on."
"It fits."
"Tell you what. I'll keep it in my safe. We'll put a notice out front, if nobody claims it in a month, it's yours."
"Really, thank you."
"You'll have to buy it, company policy."
"Sure, how much?"
Fillmore held it up in the light, "How's five bucks."

Treasure (Socks CCCXCI)

"What the???" Purple Shirt stood looking back and forth between her hand, the bench, and Dustpan. After a moment she grabbed the broom and Dustpan, and picked up the dirt.
The dirt fell on Spaulding in the bottom of the can.
"What was that?"
Fillmore walked in, "Sorry I left that pile, I got talking with Barry's mother."
"Something shinny was in that dirt." She reached into the can, digging around.
"Look at this," She handed something to Fillmore.
"That was in the dirt pile?"
"Yea. I wonder where it came from."
"It looks valuable."
"Is that a natural emerald?"

Bench Jumping (Socks CCCXC)

"Now you try."
Lar tried to move.
"Sunbeam, Dustpan, try to move."
"I think I'm moving."
"Keep going, I think we can do it."
The objects kept it up through the night. After the light had started to come in, Pink Shirt walked in. Now she wore a purple shirt. She put a card in the clock, and looked around the room.
When she got over by the bench, she looked at the dirt pile, "Fillmore must have been in a hurry." Just as she reached for Dustpan, she jumped off the bench with a crash. A cheer went up.

Movement (Socks CCCLXXXIX)

"Now what do we do?"
Lar had a solution, "Dustpan, get some dirt. Sunbeam, make some heat."
"I need some help."
"So do I."
"Then how will you two cook dirt?"
No one had an answer.
Lar was coming to the realization that objects needed people to do their jobs. He voiced his concern to Rar.
"I got that sliver down my middle, and stuck it in Grunter's foot."
"That's right. How did you do that?"
"I don't know."
"Can you move now?"
Rar tried to move.
"Did you feel anything?"
"I'm not sure. Try again."
"Did I move?"
"Maybe."

Dustpan (Socks CCCLXXXVIII)

"Who are you?"
"I'm Dustpan."
Sunbeam had a question. "Do you cook dust."
"No. Why would I cook dust."
"Pans cook things."
"What are you talking about?"
"I spent some time with the pots and pans, they cook things."
"Well, I don't."
"Why not?"
"I've never been asked to."
"I'm asking."
"Ok. I'll try it. Tell me how."
"I don't know how."
"You must know something."
"You will need a stove."
"I don't know what that is."
"It gets hot."
Lar spoke up, "Sunbeam, you get hot."
"Yes I do. Maybe you can use me for heat."
"Lets get started."

Dust Pile (Socks CCCLXXXVII)

Mommy and Fillmore walked around the room talking. After a few minutes they kind of just walked out the door leaving the broom, the flat object, and the pile of dust where they were.
From the top of the bench, "I've never seen him do that before."
"Who? What?"
"Fillmore. He left the dirt on the floor."
"What was he supposed to do?"
"Put the dirt in the trash can."
Lar wanted to know more.
"I work with the broom. He sweeps the dirt into a pile. Then we work together to pick up the dirt and throw it away.

Green Bump (Socks CCCLXXXVI)

"A bump?"
"Yea. A green bump."
"Describe it again."
"It's round, yellow, hole in the middle, with a green bump on one side."
"Talk to it."
"Hey!"
Nothing.
Fillmore came toward the bench with a flat metal object in one hand. He put his hand on the broom. The door opened, "Mr. Fillmore, Barry's mom is here. She would like to talk with you."
"Send her back."
Fillmore sat the flat object on the bench as Mommy came through the door, "Mr. Fillmore, I want to thank you for being so nice to Barry."
"You're welcome. He's a good kid."

Shiny (Socks CCCLXXXV)

"Ah, the sister headache is back."
*
"You could take a nap, and I'll be home just about the time the roast is done."
*
"Ok, I'll finish cleaning up around here."
Fillmore finished his call and went about straightening up boxes. The broom still leaned against the bench. There was a small pile of dust next to it. In the dust something sparkled.
"Rar, what's that?"
"I can't see, you're on top of me. Describe it."
"It's round."
"Like Nick?"
"No. It has a hole in it."
"Like Spaulding? Is air coming out?"
"No. There is a bump on one side."

Home Early (Socks CCCLXXXIV)

"How is your mother?"
*
"Where did you go for lunch?"
*
"She always wants to go there."
*
"Did you get to see your Dad?"
*
"That's too bad."
*
"Oh, that's why you left early."
*
"I wish you wouldn't let your sister bother you this way."
*
"I agree, but I just wish it didn't bother you."
*
"That's a good idea. Let's talk about it later."
*
"Oh, you can smell the roast?"
*
"Yea, I put it in this morning, and set the timer."
*
"It will be ready in forty-five minutes."
*
"I was just getting ready to go."
*
"We can go out, if you want."

New Cord (Socks CCCLXXXIII)

Sunbeam saw Fillmore carrying the cord.
"I hope that's for me."
It was. Fillmore plugged the cord into Sunbeam's base and looped it in the handle several times. Now Lar and Rar were tied to the handle. Filmore held the peculator up to have a look. Then he put the objects back, and chuckled.
Fillmore moved some boxes and bags, generally making bigger stacks. Next he grabbed a broom. After a few minutes of sweeping, there was a ringing sound. He took his cell phone out of his pocket.
"Hello."
*
"Are you home already?"
*
"I didn't expect you so soon."

Paid in Full (Socks CCCLXXXII)

The three women talked for a short time until a man brought two pair of pants to the counter.
Mommy left and Pink Shirt went to the back. She put Lar and Rar through Sunbeam's handle, put a card in the clock and went out the door.
Soon Fillmore came through and noticed the twins. He saw something sticking out of Lar, "What's this?"
"Wow, she paid for this already."
He opened Sunbeam's lid and read a piece of paper, "He paid for this too." Then he took a shoebox from a shelf, opened it, and took out a cord.

Thraight Thtory (Socks CCCLXXXI)

Barry's mother brought the ball inside, Barry followed.
"Did Barry pay for this ball?"
Pink shirt spoke up, "It was free. Mr. Fillmore said to mark it free."
"Thee, I told you tho."
"Don't get cheeky with me, young man."
Barry hung his head, "I'm thorry."
"Why don't you head on home, you have homework."
"Ok, Mommy."
Barry left, waiting to get all the way outside before dribbling.
"I hope Barry doesn't bother you here."
"No, he's no trouble."
"Well, don't let him get in the way."
"Oh, don't worry. If I have customers, I tell him to go home."

Buth-ted (Socks CCCLXXX)

A woman was walking on the sidewalk, toward the door. She stopped, folded her arms, and watched Barry dribble.
"I'm dribbling out-thide."
Pink shirt and the other lady just stood there, "Watch this, this will be good."
Barry started shaking his but toward the woman behind the counter, "I'm dribbling out-thide. I'm dribbling out-thide."
Just then he looked up, the ball bounced off his toe, and rolled to the woman on the sidewalk.
"I wuth jutht going home."
"I thought I'd find you here."
"I got a new bathketball."
"Where'd you get the money?"
"It wuth free."
"Is that so?"

Dribbling Out-thide (Socks CCCLXXIX)

"I better go, I wuth thuppothed to go thtraight home."
"Bye Barry."
"Tell Mithter Fillmore thankth."
"I will."
"I want to work here."
"You should."
"In two yearth I'll be thixteen, I can't wait."
"Barry, there's your mother."
Barry jumped, "Where? The'th not here. You got me."
"I sure did."
"Thome day I'm gonna get chew."
"I'm ready for you, Cowboy."
Barry laughed and headed for the door. He held the ball while the automatic door opened. He put his toes inside the edge of the door sill, and dribbled Bouncy on the outside of the sill.
"I'm dribbling out-thide."

LeBron Jameth (Socks CCCLXXVIII)

The boy started dribbling Bouncy right away. He bounded off the boy's toe and down the aisle, "I'm thorry. I'll wait till I get out-thide."
"That's ok, but that's a good idea to wait."
Both people walked to where Bouncy lay, waiting. The boy picked him up, and everybody walked to the woman behind the table.
"Mr. Fillmore said to give this ball away."
"I alwayth wanted a bathketball."
"Good for you, Barry."
"I'm gonna be like LeBron Jameth."
"Don't you want to be like Mike?"
"Jordan ith old thcool."
Everyone laughed.
Barry bounced the ball once, "Thorry, I forgot."

New Bathketball (Socks CCCLXXVII)

She picked up Bouncy and as soon as she stepped through the door she started dribbling him holding the twins in the other hand. She dribbled quite a ways before setting bouncy on a shelf next to a number of different size balls. A boy that came up to Pink shirt's shoulder was there.
"Ith that bathketball free?"
"Yes."
"Can I hab it?"
"Sure," She picked up Bouncy and handed him to the boy.
Lar noted that the boy's eyes were very round, and he had patches of hair missing, but his smile was huge. He kept jiggling and squirming.

Purchase (Socks CCCLXXVI)

Pink shirt put a piece of tape on Bouncy, wrote on it, and set him under the bench near Sunbeam.
She picked up Lar and Rar, carrying them out the door, and set them on a table in front of a woman, "Mr. Fillmore said I could have these for a dime."
"Cool, I think my husband would like these."
"If any more come in I'll let you know."
"Do that. Here's your receipt."
"Thanks. See you tomorrow."
"You out of here?"
"Five minutes."
Pink shirt walked slowly through the store, suddenly she stopped, then she hurried through the door.

Just Friends (Socks CCCLXXV)

Pink shirt asked again, but Fillmore had turned to go. Just as he reached the door, "Mr. Fillmore?"
"Yes."
She had picked up the twins, "How much for these?"
"One dime. For your father?"
"No, Kyle is coming over for Sunday dinner. I think he'll like them."
"Are you two an item?"
"No, just friends."
"That's a good place to start."
"Really, we're just friends."
"All I'm saying is, don't rule out anything else. He's a smart young man, he'll go far."
"I agree, but..."
"Just keep an open mind."
"Ok."
Fillmore turned to leave, "Say hello to your mother."

Gratis Globe (Socks CCCLXXIV)

"I guess there's no saving it. What about the basketball?"
"It's pretty worn, I didn't inflate it."
Fillmore picked up Basketball, "It is quite smooth, to worn to sell. Let's inflate it, maybe it holds air."
They did as Fillmore suggested.
"It looks like it holds air. Mark it free, and put it out."
"Ok."
"On second thought, wait until you see that kid with the teeth missing in the front, and set it out while he's in the store."
"OK?"
"You know who I mean?"
"Yea."
"He'll really appreciate it. He always does."
"He always does?"
Fillmore didn't answer.

Deflating (Socks CCCLXXIII)

Lar wondered, "Why didn't you tell us your name?"
"It's not my name. My name is Spaulding. When Spaulding showed up she started calling me Bouncy."
"Well it's a good fit, besides it would have been confusing having two of you."
"Two?"
Spalding chimed in, "Don't forget the tennis balls, Fuzzy and Furry."
Fillmore came into the room, and looked in the barrel, he picked up Spaulding, "This looks in pretty good shape."
"It is, except it won't hold air."
Pink shirt put a needle in Spaulding, and pumped. Spaulding swelled to official size, but was soon hissing and deflating.

Fantasy Football (Socks CCCLXXII)

"Isn't that a foul?"
"You were listening."
"Of course I was. She should have gotten a free throw."
"She would have made it too."
From the other end of the bench, "Cantu stays in the pocket, looking for an open receiver. Mones is outrunning the coverage, she's open. Cantu throws."
A deflated football sailed toward the barrel, bouncing off the edge.
Pink shirt picked up the ball, and held it out in front of herself, "The snap. Cantu looks downfield. Quarterback sneak." She trotted over, spiking the football in the barrel.
"Touchdown."
Basketball laughed, "Hey, Spaulding."
"Hey Bouncy. Together again."

Cheat (Socks CCCLXXI)

Basketball knew different names for the people, but by now was calling them the names that the twins used.
"I remember when Grunter taught Pretty how to throw me."
"She has smooth hands."
"Yes she does. At first she could hardly hit the basket, but before long she beat him at Pig almost every time. He tried to get her to play One-on-one, but she said it wasn't fair because he was taller and stronger. She didn't know that he cheated, too."
"He did?"
"Yea, he said that he could hit her hand, as long as she had the ball."

Free Throw (Socks CCCLXX)

Basketball's favorite activity was the free throw contest, "Once, I got tossed through the hoop fifty three times in a row."
"Grunter did that?"
"No, a guy named Greg. He was good. Grunter's best was nine in a row."
The conversation moved on, it seemed as if Basketball had seen Grunter in action for quite a while. Apparently Grunter used to like to keep Basketball with him while watching games on TV, bouncing him between his feet when someone stepped up to the line. This practice had stopped when Pretty came into Basketball's life.
"She can hit a free throw."

Air Ball (Socks CCCLXIX)

The boys described Grunter to Basketball.
"I think that's him, but he didn't have any hair on his face when I first saw him, and he was shorter. He could barely hit the basket."
Basketball said that a few times he got to bounce on a wooden floor, "It's not as hard on my surface as concrete."
Basketball said that people said mean things to each other while they played almost any game, "They call it trash talk." He didn't understand some of it.
"One guy called Grunter, Shack when he would free throw. Another guy called him Air Ball."

Passes (Socks CCCLXVIII)

Basketball next told of the bounce pass, the behind the back pass, and the no-look pass.
Then Basketball started telling a story, "When I first came out of the box my surface was much rougher, and I could hold air for a long time. I used to bounce on the concrete, then fly through the air, but most of the time I'd bounce off the rim."
"I thought that the idea was to go through the hoop."
"It is, but the guy that bounced me most of the time, didn't start out very good."
"Who was it? Was it Grunter?"

Basketball (Socks CCCLXVII)

The boys were hanging over the bench, talking with Basketball, "That looked like fun."
"I don't know how many times I've heard a speech like that one before I got tossed."
"I didn't that understand speech."
Basketball explained the game to the boys, then he told of other games that he had played.
"Horse sounds the same as Pig, only longer."
"Another game is 21. You get 2 points for a free throw, and 1point for a lay-up."
"What's a lay-up?"
The explanation about the lay-up led to other shots: the jumper, the fade-away, the sky hook, and the dunk.

From the Line (Socks CCCLXVI)

Pink Shirt carried Lar and Rar to the bench. She set them aside while she sorted items.
She held the basketball, "Too worn." She put the deflated ball next to her face, her elbow shoulder high, pointing in the direction of a large grey barrel at the opposite end of the bench.
"Mazzante is six for six at the line tonight. Here's the release."
The twins watched the ball arching through the air toward them, ending in the barrel, "The crowd goes wild," pink shirt turned back to the bench.
"That was fun, I just wish I wasn't so deflated."

More Nice Hands (Socks CCCLXV)

"I'll need directions."
"Right. Come over here."
Black shirt walked over to the pink shirt. She put her arm around his shoulders, pointing out the window, "See that green house down the street?"
"OK."
"My house is around the corner, steel grey, you'll see my Bug in front."
"Good, see you Sunday," He walked out the door.
The girl continued to sort. She finished the pile on the bench, took care of the items, and came for more boxes. She carried the sports equipment, and a large white bag to the bench, "One more"
She picked up the twins, "Nice."

Dinner Date (Socks CCCLXIV)

The twins watched the boxes next to them get toted away, and placed on the bench.
"That's enough, I only have a half hour to sort."
"I put my name on that percolator. Fillmore said I could have it for a buck."
"You got plans this weekend?"
"I have an exam on Monday, so I can't do much."
"OK. Why don't you come over for Sunday dinner. You can ask my Mom about Fillmore's wife."
"OK. Gotta go."
Black shirt took a card from a rack, and put it in a clock.
"What time?"
"I'll call, to let you know."

Believe, but Confirm (Socks CCCLXIII)

"I'm not lying, ask my mother."
"I don't know your mother."
"I'll tell you something else. His wife is a fox."
"No."
"It's true. His first wife got cancer. He quit working, to take care of her."
"That part of this story I believe. He's a really good guy."
"Do you think I'm lying?"
"My creed is: Believe, but confirm."
"Fillmore's wife used to be the weather girl, Heidi."
Pink shirt took the box and left the room for a short time.
"When does your shift end?"
"Ten minutes."
"Help me get this stuff on the bench. I'll sort it."

Double Life (Socks CCCLXII)

"Fillmore used to be one of the vice presidents over at Essex."
"Our Fillmore?"
"Yea. My mother said that he made some good investments, and got out of the rat race. He's really quite rich"
The two young people continued sorting the CD's silently. After a few minutes Pink shirt put some of the CD's in a box, "I'll go put these out front."
"So, Fillmore has a masters."
"Sure does."
"Well, if he's so loaded, why does he wear that ill-fitting rug?"
"You've never seen him outside here, have you?"
"Why?"
"You wouldn't recognize him."
"You're so full of..."

CD Sort (Socks CCCLXI)

The pink shirt girl came into the room, "Do we have time to go through those CD's before you leave?"
"Oh yea, plenty of time."
They stood by the bench opening the cases, "This ones got the wrong disk in it. I'll put it aside for now."
"Did you know that it took Fillmore four years to get an Associates?"
"It did not. He has a masters degree."
"He told me..."
"That's his idea of a joke. My mother went to school with him."
"What's his masters in?"
"I don't know, but he used to do the corporate thing."
"Really?"

Curriculum (Socks CCCLX)

"I don't want to go into management."
"I didn't mean that you would do exactly what I did. I just admire your spunk."
"Thank you."
"Now, what is it you're taking in college?"
"Film."
"You want to be an actor?"
"No, I get stage fright. I lean more towards writing or directing."
Mr. Fillmore turned to leave, "The things you don't find out about a guy." When he got to the door he turned, "Don't forget us when you get famous."
"I won't."
"Especially don't forget us when you get rich."
Black shirt laughed. He put Sunbeam under the bench.

Corporate Ladder (Socks CCCLIX)

"Can I leave this here tonight? I'm not going right home, I have a shift at the gas station."
"Sure, just put your name on it, and leave it under the bench."
Black shirt did as Mr. Fillmore suggested.
"You certainly are industrious. Two jobs and college."
"It keeps me busy, sir."
"You remind me of myself when I was your age."
"How's that?"
"I worked in the backroom, right here. I kept at it, and in four years got my Associates. That was ten years ago. Well, I moved my way up, and today I manage the whole place."

Purchase (Socks CCCLVIII)

"What part of my story don't you believe?"
"I don't know. What would he want with you?"
"I make great coffee."
"But you have no cord."
"My cord just plugs in."
"Plugs...in?"
"Yea, that's why it didn't hurt to get shut in the dishwasher."
A man wearing a red vest, and hair that didn't quite fit his head came in the room. The black shirt grabbed Sunbeam, "Mr. Fillmore, can I take this home?"
"You'll have to purchase it."
"How much?"
"How's one dollar?"
"I'll take it. Do we have any cords around here?"
"I think we can find one."

Treasure (Socks CCCLVII)

"What is this place?"
"I'm not sure, but the guy with the black tee shirt takes objects to the bench, and looks them over."
"How do you know?"
"I've watched him all day."
Lar looked over at the black shirt guy.
"This morning, he took me to the bench."
"What did he do to you?"
"Polished me with a towel, and said that he might take me home, if he could find a cord."
"He told you that?"
"No. He told the woman with the pink shirt."
"What did she say?"
"She told him not to get caught."
"I'm skeptical."

Power Struggle (Socks CCCLVI)

"Well, one day the man took me out side, put me in a large plastic barrel, and shut the lid. It was dark, and soon the lid opened. The woman looked in, pulled me out, and put a small bag in. Then she said some words that I didn't hear very often. She carried me back inside, putting me in with the pans. She took me out one day, and called the man some names before putting me back with the pans. Yesterday the man put me in the car, I stayed there overnight. This morning he brought me here."

Replaced (Socks CCCLV)

"Did it hurt?"
"No way. The woman that I worked for said that she would get a new cord, but the man said that he wanted to get an under the cabinet coffee maker."
"What's that?"
Sunbeam told Lar the differences. "She left me on the counter, and I watched the new coffee maker take over."
"How long were you there?"
"Long enough for about ten pots to brew. The woman said that she like my coffee better, but the man said that I cluttered up the counter."
"If she liked your coffee better, how did you end up here?"

Sunbeam (Socks CCCLIV)

There were boxes and bags of objects all around the boys. Lar stuck up a conversation with a percolator.
"I like hot water too. I like to swim in it, in the washer, of course."
"I don't get to swim. Right on my base is a warning not to immerse in water."
"You keep the hot water on the inside?"
"I start with cold water, and make hot coffee." Then Sunbeam went on to explain coffee.
"I haven't made coffee for a long time. My cord was hanging over the counter, and got caught in the door of the dishwasher."

Donation (Socks CCCLIII)

The car stopped. The ladies got out, and a mans voice said, "Can I help you?"
"We have some items to donate."
The three people carried the boxes into a room, setting them on the floor along with a number of boxes and bags that were there already.
"This one is mostly clothing. These are sporting goods. Let's see, this one has a bunch of CD's."
"I'll sort that one, we don't need many clothes on the floor now." The man set a
box on top of the twins, and a box in front.
"Do you need a donation receipt?"