Clandestine (Socks XLIX)

Dad walked into the room.
"You son-of-a..."
"Sorry Sarah. Had to do it."
"You tricked me!"
"And you set me up. I could be in jail right now."
"You should be."
"My name was in the papers. Nobody believed me."
"I believed you, Mom"
"Well, nobody else will. It's your word against mine."
Dad held up a small digital recorder. "Sarah, this will go no further, unless you make a stink."
"A couple of real snakes."
"Listen to the pot."
"What do you want?"
"Clear Mom's name with the girls and the restaurant."
"If I don't?"
"I have the recording."

Confession (Socks XLVIII)

The laughter subsided.
"Well girls, where do we go from here?"
"Sarah should admit to putting silverware in my purse."
"I will not."
"I'm going back to the garage. You two make up."
"Make up implies that we were once friends."
"If you didn't want to work things out, why did you agree to come?"
"I wanted to hear her admit who she slept with."
"I admit it Sarah, your turn."
Silence.
"I'll be in the garage."
A door shuts.
"Want to hear it? I put silverware in your purse. And, I'd do it again."
Footsteps were in the kitchen.

Dick's Wisdom (Socks XLVII)

Dick's wisdom: an incomplete list.
1. In addition to humans there are animals and plants.
1a. Humans are animals. (Confusing.)
1b. Most plants can respond, but choose not to.
1c. Some animals respond.
2. All others are objects. (Two categories.)
2a. Animates. ( Talkers.)
2b. Inanimates. (Mutes.)
3. Objects hear humans.
3a. Humans seldom listen to objects.
4. Objects move slowly. (Compared to animals.)
4a. Humans misunderstand when objects move or talk.(A picture leaping from a wall, a chair creaking, lost keys.)
4b. Some malicious objects try to injure others. (A brick once jumped on a man's head, killing him.)

Detente (Socks XLVI)

Nick and Dick heard the laughter.
Now Nick was really confused. "Why are they laughing? Aren't they fighting?"
"Let's see. One can laugh for amusement or contempt."
"Which is it?"
"Who knows. I don't always understand humans."
"Humans?"
"Correct. That is what they are called as a group."
The lesson continued. "Dad is a man, the other two are called women."
"Why did Dad call them girls."
Dick went on to explain that and many other uncertainties that Nick had.
Nick was amazed at Dick's knowledge. Maybe Nick had misjudged. The book was not a pompous windbag, just slightly stuffy.

Out In the Open (Socks XLV)

Conversation continued on the couch and the shelf.
"Dick, why did she get called a rounder?"
"She must have ran the bases a lot."
"What's loose?"
"It means not fastened. I don't get it."
Dad stuck his head in.
"How are you girls doing?"
"Sarah confessed to putting silverware in my purse."
"When?"
"Just now."
"I remember your confession."
"He already knows who I slept with."
"Is she talking about the peace rally?"
"Yep."
"Sarah, Mom and I got no secrets."
"Besides, he wasn't that good. It was over in ten seconds."
Sarah laughed but looked at Mom with daggers.

Discourse (Socks XLIV)

Dick and Nick discussed the happenings in the living room.
"What's a Klepto?"
"The only reference I find is kleptomania, the urge to steal."
"This is great, just like WWF."
"I find this petty bickering pedestrian."
"You've used that word before, what is it?"
"Dull and ordinary, resembling this conversation."
"You don't have to be mean."
"My apologies, I'm afraid my social skills are atrocious."
"What?"
"I purport that very little company visits up here therefore I forget how to interact."
"How do you pass the time?"
"Mostly recalling the words I have inside myself."
"And you called me dull?"

Top Shelf (Socks XLIII)

Nick watched from the shelf. "This is better than Oprah."
"Oprah is pedestrian."
"What? Why would you say that?"
"Her topics are mundane."
"She covers important topics."
"She covers Hollywood."
"What about her book club?"
"Pulp."
"What makes you the expert?"
"I am the king of books."
"Oh yea, what are you worth?"
"I'm priceless. Inside me is every word in the English language, it's definition, plus it's synonyms and antonyms. I am Dick Shawn Aries."
Nick looked the large book up and down thinking, "Maybe I could learn some more words from this pretentious bastard. Who has three names?"