Malapropism (Socks CCLXXXVII)

Phil started laughing again, "I was hoping that I could get you to listen to me, and forget your next announcement."
"It hasn't worked yet, what makes you think it would work this time?"
"Can't blame a guy for trying."
"You're going to have to talk about something more interesting than amputation moderation." Margreth realized that she had made a mistake. Even though she didn't know the correct term, she began to laugh.
Now Phil was laughing so hard that he couldn't hang on to the signal, and the broadcast started breaking up. Katherina walked over, and turned Phil's dial.

AM Radio (Socks CCLXXXVI)

Phil went on to explain that many signals were out there, but people chose what one they wanted him to relay. Phil told Margreth about the numbers on the dial, and frequencies, and wave length.
While Phil talked about amplitude modulation, Margreth, in turns, either daydreamed, or listened to the broadcast of the celebration going on in Times Square. She didn't understand, it was too technical for her. Phil was so engrossed in the subject, he didn't notice that the clock was watching the people that were listening to Phil's broadcast.
Suddenly, "Excuse me, Phil. Cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo."

Interruption (Socks CCLXXXV)

"I don't know, I never thought about it."
"Well, this information has to come from somewhere."
"I know that my tail has to be plugged into the wall."
"What for? Wait, excuse me for a second. Cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo. Thanks for waiting. Ok, go on."
Phil was laughing, he was always amused by the semi-hourly interruptions. Mainly because it seemed to catch Margreth by surprise.
"I need electricity to grab the signal."
Margreth wanted to know more.
Phil didn't know where the signal originated, unless the person talking said something like, "Live from New York," or "Live from London."

Celebration (Socks CCLXXXIV)

Elsebeth listened as Phil told of people celebrating. A man would talk to different people, some men, some women, some would cheer, some would cry. All were happy that peace had arrived.
Katherina burst in the door, the two women hugged and cried and laughed and danced.
When Wilhiem came home he had a huge smile, "I guess Donald will be home soon. I should have enough business for the both of us. If that's what he wants to do."
"He will Papa, he said so in his last letter."
The report continued, Margreth wondered how Phil knew these things.

VJ Day (Socks CCLXXXIII)

Phil's reports of death continued from the Pacific, and the days turned hot.
Katherina opened a letter one day, and after reading it, set it on the table next to Phil. Margreth and Phil read the letter together, but some of the words were cut out.
One day Wilhiem sat near the radio, very quietly listening to the reports of destruction. He didn't seem to completely understand what had happened. A few days later, more reports of destruction.
About a week later, Phil gave reports from a place called Times Square. This caught the clocks attention. Time was her subject.

VE Day (Socks CCLXXXII)

After the weather turned warm, Phil reported that peace had returned to Europe. Katherina started crying at the report. She danced around the living room, hugging her parents. The family began speculating on Donald's return, and talked of little else for the next few days.
Beyond the joy of having "our boys" come home each person would be glad to be able to get certain items. Wilhiem wanted gas and tires, Elsebeth couldn't wait for flour and sugar. Katherina needed nylons. When she finally got a pair she said, "Moma, I'll not wear these until my Donald takes me dancing."

Reverie (Socks CCLXXXI)

When Margreth told a story her mind was transported to the scene of the tale, and she became oblivious of her surroundings. Many times, like this one, after coming out of a daydream, Margreth was quiet and introspective.
The room remained uncomfortably silent.
If Phil didn't do something she would be sad all day.
Phil wanted to know where das klavier was now.
The clock didn't know.
Phil steered the conversation toward big band music. Margreth knew he wanted to take her mind off the original Margreth, and was grateful.
Philco knew how to bring her out of her funk.

Chop Sticks (Socks CCLXXX)

Margreth couldn't tell how long the family was gone, but day and night had come at least seven, maybe ten times. She had lost count.
She had spent the time talking with das klavier, or the oil lamp. Das klaver had a voice that Margreth loved. They talked of how people would sit and make music with das klavier, or the little hands getting slapped for plinking the black and white keys. Touching the lamp could also get ones hands slapped.
The clock talked softly now, 'Katherina played once in a while, but not as good as..."
Margreth stopped talking.

Munich (Socks CCLXXIX)

"I hate to give you the bad news from Europe, Margreth."
"It's your job. Besides, I like to hear the place names, even if the news is bad."
The clock grew silent, then, "Did I tell you of the summer after Margreth went away?"
Margreth told Phil of the time that Wilhiem and Elsebeth talked of going to Munich. The weather was warm the day the trunks were brought into the living room. The next morning, before daybreak Wilhien carried the trunks out. Then Wilhiem took Katherina's hand and limped out the door. Lastly, Elsebeth stopped Margreth's pendulum, and left.

Philco (Socks CCLXXVIII)

Willhiem brought a radio, Philco, into the house, and over the course of several days, he got moved to different places around the living room, trying to get less static. He finally found his spot on a table in front of the window, near Margreth. They became friends, talking even when Phil wasn't working. Phil told stories, played music, and gave reports on events happening outside the house.
Margreth liked Fibber McGee and Molly. Phil was partial to bands, like Tommy Dorsey's. Neither liked the news. The news brought bombing reports from London.
The people always listened to the news.

False Alarm (Socks CCLXXVII)

Soon Katherina moved out, and her and Donald would come to eat, just like Willhiem and Elsebeth had done with Konrad and the first Margreth.
Now Katherina was getting bigger.
Margreth had connected a woman getting bigger with a baby coming into the house, but not this time. Katherina was one day, back to her normal size, she was given to fits of crying, and Donald would comfort her.
Then one day Katherina brought all her objects back to the house.
A few days later Donald, dressed in green, left the house. He didn‘t come back for a long time.

Out Again (Socks CCLXXVI)

Margreth couldn’t tell how long she had been in the suitcase when it opened and she went back up on the wall, her pendulum had stopped.
This was a different house, and all of the people that came to visit spoke in a way that Elsebeth had trouble understanding. Wilhiem could understand most times, but Katherina spoke with them, even translating for the other two. This confused Margreth, because while the words sounded different, she somehow, knew what each person was saying.
One of the visitors was a young man, Donald, who liked to hold Katherina’s hand. Katherina didn’t object.

Der Schneider (Socks CCLXXV)

And Katherina grew until she could pull Margreth’s chains by herself.
One day Margreth was on the wall, busy keeping time when Elsebeth came into the room, sat down, and sewed a yellow star on her coat.
A few days later, a man came to the house after dark. Wilhiem closed the curtains, and everyone went into the kitchen.
The next day Margreth was taken down from the wall and put in a suitcase with some of the pictures, and some clothes.
Soon she could tell the suitcase was being carried. Wilhiem‘s, Elsebeth‘s, and Katherina’s whispers could be heard outside.

New Name (Socks CCLXXIV)

A man with a black bag came to see Margreth more often, until she was taken out of the house, never to return.
A routine developed. Wilhiem left the house each morning, and Elsebeth would dust, clean, and cook. Katherina, at times, would play with the chains, and get her hand slapped.
Daily, Elsebeth would pull the clock’s chains, and softly say, “Margreth, Du fehlst mir.”
The clock missed Margreth too. She decided then that Margreth would become her name. Elsebeth said it all the time, and the clock had really liked the original Margreth.
Her name was now, Margreth.

No Name (Socks CCLXXIII)

Wilhiem, Elebeth, Margreth, and the child, Katherina, lived in the house.
Margreth stayed in another room most of the time, and when the clock did see her, she was crying. When no one else was in the room, Margreth would pick up one of the pictures , and say, “Oh, Konrad.”
That was about the time that the clock realized that she had no name. She wanted a name. She would get a name.
Margreth stopped playing das klavier, and soon stayed in bed. The clock could see the bed through the doorway.
Soon, Margreth only smiled when Katherina giggled.

Plus One, minus One (Socks CCLXXII)

The very same day that a new little person, Katherina, was brought home, all four people seemed concerned that a man named Ferdinand had been killed.
Soon, Konrad and Wilhiem wore green clothes all of the time. Then one day, the objects that were carried out came back in, the dresser, the bed, and more trunks.
The two women, and the baby were the only ones in the house for quite a while.
In turns, one woman would cry, and the other would comfort her.
When Wilhiem came home he walked with a limp. The clock never saw Konrad again.

Elsebeth (Socks CCLXXI)

And Wilhiem grew. The clock realized how big when Wilhiem pulled her chains because the cones were almost to the floor. She remembered the day when Margreth had slapped small Wilhiem's hand for playing with the chains.
Not long after, Wilhiem brought a girl, Elsebeth, home. The clock saw Elebeth quite often, until the weather turned warm. That was when objects, a dresser, a bed, and a couple of trunks were carried out of the house. After that, Wilhiem and Elebeth would come, eat, then leave after singing around das klavier.
The clock noticed that Elisabeth was getting bigger, rounder.

Das Klavier (Socks CCLXX)

The woman boarded the wagon, put the clock in her lap, and a horse pulled the wagon through town to a different house.
The clock found her place on the wall in the new home. Over time, other objects came to stay, a lamp that periodically needed to be filled with oil, a painting of the three persons living in the house, and das klavier.
Margreth, the lady of the house, would sit at das klavier, and sing. Wilhiem would clap his chubby little hands, and try to dance while Konrad tried to keep him from falling into the furniture.

Der Sohn (Socks CCLXIX)

The man, the woman, and the cuckoo clock settled into a routine including pulling the chains before the cones reached the bottom, and announcing every half hour.
The weather turned warm, then cold, but as the weather started to turn warm again another person came to live in the house. One of the big people carried this little one, Wilhiem, around a lot.
A short time after Wilhiem started walking, all of the objects were taken out of the house. The woman carried the cuckoo outside, where all the objects were waiting in a wagon.
These were strange events, indeed.

Die Kuckucksuhr (Socks CCLXVIII)

It was cold outside, and the ground was white as the man, whistling, carried the clock along the streets. The clock watched as they went into a house where a woman stood at a stove with her back to the man. The man held the time piece out, "Hersehen."
The woman turned around, put her hands together, and jumped up and down, squealing, "Danke, Kronrad, Danke. Die kuckucksuhr."
After Konrad hung the cuckoo clock on the wall, the woman kept coming in and out of the room, reaching up to touch the clock, "Danke, Liebster!"
The clock liked the woman.

Das Lernen (Socks CCLXVII)

Time was one of the first things she learned. Seconds, minutes, hours. Sekunden, minuten, stunden.
Names of things, Handes, hands, das handwerkseug, tools, and schmirol, oil she learned from paying attention when das uhrmacher, the clockmaker, talked.
One day a man came into the shop, stood in front of several clocks, "Dieses eine," then gave das uhrmacher some paper, that she later learned was geld, and took the clock away.
The shopkeeper had offered the man a box for her to ride in, but he said, "Nein, danke,"
and put the cuckoo under his arm, and stepped out the door.

Das Gute (Socks CCLXVI)

Margreth's first memory was a room full of her own kind. A man stood in front of her and slowly moved her hands. Each time her longest hand was straight up, or straight down she would sing out a cuckoo, then play a little tune.
The man took her to a bench, opened her back, and used tools on her works. That kind of tickled. He then put her on the wall and moved her hands again. He did this several times until he said, "Das Gute."
She knew hardly anything at that time, but being observant, Margreth learned quickly.

Poking Fun (Socks CCLXV)

"People look to me for the time."
Dyson didn't know what time was, but would not admit it.
"I keep the place clean."
"But you don't work as often as I do."
"I suck dirt out of the carpet."
"But you don't work every day."
Dyson didn't know what a day was either, "Just leave me alone."
"You started this."
"Well, I clean all the rooms, while you just hang on the wall, and say that stupid cuckoo."
This was a lot of fun for Margreth. She called herself Margreth after the woman of the first house she lived in.

Stirring The Pot (Socks CCLXIV)

Rar couldn't talk to his brother, because the drawer got closed when Pretty shoved the dresser. It was quiet, but Rar was peaceful just knowing his brother was close.
Lar had been in the drawer. He was tired of the scenery, and wanted to talk to Rar.
Dyson was in the living room, arguing with the cuckoo clock. Dyson thought herself more useful, more important. The clock had no opinion, but thought it fun to get the vacuum riled up. Having kept time in a few households, and seen lots of happenings, she knew that different objects had different talents.

Retelling (Socks CCLXIII)

"We pulled around the corner, and they were just unloading the pinball from Greg's truck."
*
"Well, I think he must be staying with Greg."
*
"So, I stayed in the car until the officer came and got me."
*
"No, I'm not pressing charges, but I did get his back door key."
*
"Who knows, he might have another."
*
"Well, I have to work tomorrow. By the way, I still haven't finished cleaning this place yet."
*
"No thanks, I don't need help. It's something I want to do myself."
*
"Good night, Mom."
Pretty turned off the light, and soon her breathing was rhythmic.

Rude-A-Vac (Socks CCLXII)

Dyson would not be quiet, asking questions, and telling stories just to irritate the brothers for the remainder of the day.
Pretty came in, moved Dyson out of the room, and the phone rang, "No, I'm sorry, I can't work tonight. It's been a terrible day. I'm going to shower and go straight to bed."
*
"Sure, I can work tomorrow morning."
Pretty hung up, shoved the dresser back a little, undressed, and went into the bathroom.
When she got out, she picked up the phone, "Mom, you won't believe what happened today." She told Mom all about the days events.

Open Drawer (Socks CCLXI)

Rar, tired of Dyson's criticism, stopped talking. Dyson did likewise.
Now that it was quiet, Rar could hear a familiar voice. Pretty had left the drawer open when she looked for missing items, and Lar was shouting as loud as he could.
"Hello, is anybody out there?"
"Lar, is that you?"
"Rar? Where are you?"
"Behind the dresser."
Dyson butted in, "Who's that?"
"My brother, Lar."
"Where is he?"
"Would you let me talk to my brother?"
"Who's stopping you?"
"You are, you won't be quiet."
Dyson was offended, "Maybe I don't want to be quiet."
"I wish you would."

Smart and Wise (Socks CCLX)

Rar told about all of the objects he and his brother, Lar had met on the shelf. Then he told of Nick Cole, "He's the smartest guy I ever met."
"You can't have two smartest."
"What?"
"Who was smartest, Nick of Dick?"
"Both of them."
"How's that?"
"Dick is smart in one way, but Dick is smart in another."
Rar explained the difference between knowledge and wisdom, "I should have said that Nick was the wisest."
"You should say what you mean."
"I try to."
"Well, maybe you don't try hard enough."
This conversation with Dyson was beginning to suck.

Dyson's Questions (Socks CCLIX)

"When we get to the house, if the truck is there, Fred and I will talk to your ex."
Pretty asked more questions. The blue people answered, the door shut, and the house was quiet again.
Now Dyson had questions, she wanted to know what a restraining order was, what a perpetrator was, and most of all what a floozy was.
"Do I look like Dick?"
"Like a what?"
"Who. Dick's a who."
"Who's Dick?"
"The smartest guy I ever met. He could tell you any word and what it meant. He called it the definition."
"Where is he now?"

Missing Pinball (Socks CCLVIII)

"Your neighbor said that they took a pinball machine."
"I haven't looked in the rec room yet."
"If my partner and I leave right now, we might get there while they're unloading."
"It's the second house north of Elm on Vermont. A white house on the right."
The blue man spoke up, "Elm and Vermont? That's..."
"Yes, it's near the car lot."
The blue woman spoke, "We might need you to identify a person, or maybe some items. I'll have to put you in the back seat. And you can't get out of the car unless I come get you."

Red Truck (Socks CCLVII)

"I was married to him, and I never got much vroom from him."
Pretty laughed.
"I'd like to give you a suggestion."
"OK."
"If you don't have any kids, take back your maiden name."
"Already done. I just haven't got to the DMV yet."
"I didn't think about it when I got divorced."
The blue man came back in, "The lady across the street saw a red Dodge pickup."
"That's Mary, she sees everything."
"Does your ex have a red truck?"
"No, but his pal Greg has one. I don't know the exact address, but I can give you directions."

Vroom (Socks CCLVI)

"Isn't that harassment?"
"No, he's a terrible driver. He just got away with it before by using my name when he got pulled over."
Pretty stopped laughing suddenly, "I just now read your name tag. Vreeland? There used to be a..."
"You mean the lot over on Elm? That's him."
"Get your own Vroom Vroom from Victor Vreeland."
"You remember that slogan? Do you remember the woman that said it?"
"Yea, she was always in a convertible, or some other sports car."
"That's his new wife, the woman he moved in with. I think she came up with that slogan."

The Past (Socks CCLV)

The blue woman explained that her ex-husband cleaned out the bank account, and moved in with a floozy.
"I worked overtime putting him through college. He finally got a job as a car salesman. He waited two years before leaving. He opened a car lot a month after the divorce was final."
"What did you do?"
"I couldn't do anything, it was a joint account."
"You said..."
"I had been on the force seven years at the time, and I had made some friends."
"OK?"
"Within two years he had so many tickets he sold his dealership, and left town."

A Talk (Socks CCLIV)

"Do you want to press charges?"
"Do I have to decide now?"
The blue woman talked to the blue man, "Would you mind checking if the neighbors saw anything?"
"Sure," then he chuckled.
When the blue man left the house, "You could press charges now. I could go have a talk with him, and depending on his attitude, you could drop them."
"I don't know..."
"Let's sit. We'll talk, woman to woman."
The two women went into the living room.
The next room was silent for a time, then Rar could hear the blue woman speak, "I've done this before."

The Culprit (Socks CCLIII)

"OK, We'll dust this room, then you can check for missing items."
When Pretty left the room, the blue woman, and a man did things in the room that Rar could not see from his vantage point.
"We're done Ma'am. You can check for missing items now."
Pretty moved Dyson out of the way, and opened the closet, "Oh, I think I know who was here."
"Who do you think broke in?"
"My ex."
"Does he have a key?"
"Yes I forgot to have the back door lock changed."
"Do you have a restraining order against him?"
"No, not yet."

Blue Woman (Socks CCLII)

"Yes, this is a cordless phone."
*
"You want me to wait outside?"
Pretty left, and the front door shut. Shrill noises came from outside.
A blue woman walked through the house, "All clear."
She went out, and Pretty came back in.
"What have you touched since you got home, Ma'am?"
"Just the laundry basket, and this phone."
"Is anything missing?"
"I haven't looked yet."
Pretty looked around the room. "The sweeper isn't where I left it, and the dresser's not out far enough."
A blue man came into the room, "I couldn't find any damage on the doors or windows."

Cuckoo (Socks CCLI)

From down the hall, "What's the hurry?"
"Move. Let's go."
"Take it easy. I didn't hear anything."
The back door shut, and the house was quiet.
The house remained quiet, except for the announcement of the clock. She had cuckooed once, then twice. Soon after she sounded once again, the front door opened.
Rar could hear someone moving around in the other room. Pretty walked into the bedroom. Under her breath, "Someone's been here."
She picked up the phone, she gave her name and address, "I think someone has been in my house."
*
"No, I don't think they're still here."

Startled (Socks CCL)

"I told you what happened, I'd had enough nagging."
"You don't act like a man that wants to get away."
"Yea?"
"You want the new number. Your key don't fit the front door. You made sure her car wasn't in the garage before trying your key. Shall I continue?"
"Doesn't prove a thing."
"I don't have to prove anything. It doesn't matter to me. Why should it matter to you?"
"Cause, that's how it happened."
"The garage door just opened."
Grunter left the room, "Come on, let's get out of here."
The other man started laughing, "That made you move."

Truths (Socks CCXLIX)

"You really didn't listen to that message, did you?"
"Sure I did. Why?"
"The phone rang, here."
"So?"
"She said that she had LOST the NEW number."
"Oh."
"Maybe it's a new CELL number."
"You really do get on my nerves."
"Tough. I've got the truck, and you need to haul your s#!t."
"Don't..."
"And you're buying lunch. Then after we unload this crap, you're buying the beer."
"I know."
"Don't forget, you're filling my tank, too."
"I think staying with the old lady would be better than dealing with you."
"Truthfully, she kicked your sorry but out. Didn't she?"

Caller ID (Socks CCXLVIII)

Grunter stopped in the doorway, "Did you hear that?"
From down the hall, "What? Let's go."
"She's got a new number."
"So what?"
"I want that number."
"Ask her for it."
"I don't think she'll give it to me."
"Again. So what?"
Grunter picked up the phone, "I'm going to call my cell, so I can get the new number." He was looking at his cell when it rang.
"That's the same number. I'm coming back in a couple days, and call again."
"You ready to go, or do you want to get caught?"
"You're still getting on my nerves."

Lost Number (Socks CCXLVII)

Grunter let the machine answer the call.
Rar recognized Mom’s voice, “Hi honey, it’s me. Give me a call when you get home, I lost your new number already. I must be loosing my mind.”
“Well, d'you want to hang around some more, and look for your other ‘favorite?”
“You really get on my nerves.”
“I’ll be the least of your problems if you get caught here.”
“Just one more minute.”
“No more minutes. I’m leaving now. You can stay if you want.”
“All right, all right,” Grunter tossed Rar back behind the dresser, and turned to leave the room.

Search (Socks CCXLVI)

Grunter reached down, picked up Rar, and yelled, “I found my grey argyle.”
“Big deal.”
“Big deal? These are my favorites.”
“Favorites? That’s plural. Where’s the other one?”
“I don’t know.”
“Then put it back, and let’s go.”
“No, I want to look for it.”
“We’ve been here almost an hour now. Go ahead and look, if you don’t mind getting caught.”
Grunter put Rar in his back pocket, and peered over the dresser, “Where’s the basket?”
“Who cares? Let’s go.”
“Shut-up.” Grunter went to the laundry room, and kicked the empty basket.
He went back to the bedroom.
“Ring.”

Discovered (Socks CCXLV)

“You’re getting on my nerves, let’s get this stuff out of here before the old lady gets home.”
“What’s the hurry? You said she knew you were coming over.”
“Like I said, you’re getting on my nerves.”
The other man just laughed, grabbed some stuff, and headed toward the back door. They both made a few trips back and forth.
“That looks like everything. I better slide this dresser back where it was.”
“Why? She’ll know you been here?”
“Just wait in the truck.”
Grunter put Dyson back, then moved the dresser away from the wall.
“Well well, what’s this?”

Gift Exchange (Socks CCXLIV)

Rar could see that Grunter had moved Dyson out of the way also.
Grunter opened the closet and took out some stuff, “Hey, do you like this?”
“Where did you get a signed Yzerman jersey?”
“The old lady got it on Ebay. It was an anniversary present.”
“What’d you get her?”
“This vacuum.”
“Why did she let a catch like you get away?”
“She was the one that harped about the fourth anniversary being linen or appliances. So, what was I supposed to get her, towels?”
“How about a slinky, black dress, and night out on the town?”
“Whatever, Casanova.”

Exposed (Socks CCXLIII)

Grunter and the other man walked room to room. Rar could hear Grunter saying, “This comes with me,” or, “Put this in the pile,” or, “I’m taking this, for sure.”
Grunter entered the room with Rar and Dyson. “Why don’t you start carrying stuff out to the truck. Just got to check this room, and we’re out of here.”
“What door should I use?”
“Don’t be stupid, use the back.”
Rar didn’t want Grunter to see him, but Pretty had moved the dresser out, and he was partially exposed.
Grunter shoved the dresser back so hard, it bumped the wall.

Intruders (Socks CCXLII)

Rar apologized to Dyson for not believing her, and wanted to know how a fire could get started. As the conversation continued Rar began to worry that a fire could start with Dyson.
“Don’t worry, Pretty takes good care of me. She empties my belly every time she pushes me around.”
A door opened in a different part of the house then Rar was used to. He could hear voices. He soon recognized one of the voices as Grunter.
“Are you sure we’re supposed to be here?”
“Yea.”
“Then why did we have to come in the back door?”
“Shut-up.”

Hole in the Wall (Socks CCXLI)

Pretty soon left, and a door in the other room closed.
The dresser had moved enough so that Rar could get a little different view, “Hey Dyson, I see something.”
“What is it?”
“I don‘t know.”
“Describe it.”
“It looks like a person’s face. There’s two of them, one over the other.”
“That’s the hole in the wall where I get my electricity.”
“I count six holes.”
“Right, I use three at a time. Another tail can be plugged into the other three.”
Rar was beginning to believe Dyson’s story about electricity. Maybe even the fire story was also true.

New Number (Socks CCXL)

Pretty redialed, “I have a new number,” then she said a series of numbers that Rar couldn’t remember.
“She said that she got a new number. That was a lot of numbers,” Rar noted.
Dyson didn’t understand either.
Pretty made a few more calls giving out the same information, but when she talked to Mom the conversation was a little different. When the call ended Pretty said, Sure, I can go to lunch. I have some laundry in, but f^&% it, I’ll leave it till I get back.
*
“I’m sorry, but he makes me so mad.”
*
“I’ll be right over.”

Border Fortified (Socks CCXXXIX)

“No, you can’t come over. And it’s not your home anymore.”
*
“You’ll get your money.”
*
“Aren’t you a real sweet talker.”
*
“I don’t have to listen to this.”
*
“That’s it. Don’t call here again.”
*
“When the bank gives me the money, my lawyer will have your check.”
Pretty hung up the phone, opened the drawer on the night stand, and dialed.
She said her name, then, “I would like to change my phone number.”
*
“He’s no longer my husband.”
*
“Yes, I want it in my name. Unlisted.”
*
“Ok, let me write that down.”
*
“When will it be connected?”
*
“Good, thank-you.”

Different Grunting (Socks CCXXXVIII)

“I’m off to the washer. See you later,” said Cannon.
“Lucky,” Rar muttered.
Very soon Pretty was back. Rar could see her feet get close to the dresser. The dresser started to move, then stopped. Rar could see that she had moved a little off to the side, then she grunted, and the dresser moved a little more.
Rar didn’t like Pretty making the grunting noise, even though it wasn’t quite the same.
She walked to the other end of the dresser, grunted again, and the dresser moved a little more this time.
The phone rang, “Hello.”
“Oh, it’s you.”

Dry Up (Socks CCXXXVII)

The lights in the other room went out, and Pretty walked into the room. She picked up Cannon, felt him in several places, the hung him back on Dyson. The room got dark, and Pretty crawled into bed.
Lar could hear Cannon, Dyson, and Rar talking, but no mater how loud he yelled, they could not hear him from inside the drawer. Their conversation went in fits and starts through the night.
In the morning, Pretty left the room for a while, came back in, and picked up Cannon. After depositing him in the basket, she left with the basket.

Wet or Dry (Socks CCXXXVI)

Cannon continued, “I like to soak up water, then dry out.”
“I like to get in the washer and swim around, then roll in the dryer.”
“Oh, yea. That’s a real hoot, but rubbing on a wet person is lots better.”
“I didn’t like rubbing on Grunter’s wet ankles.”
Cannon was confused, so Rar explained.
“I don’t blame you. I much prefer drying Pretty.”
“Do you like to soak up water, Dyson?”
“I’ve never done it, but I have the feeling that it wouldn’t mix with the electricity.”
After a short time, light no longer came in through the window.

Cannon (Socks CCXXXV)

Rar had learned from Nick Cole that if one met one with no name, one gave them one.
“Dyson, look at him, tell me what you see.”
“Look at him? He’s all over me.”
“What color is he?”
“Green.”
“That’s not a good name. What else?”
“There’s a tag.”
“Read it.”
“Cannon.”
“Cannon is a manly name. How about it towel?”
“I like it, sounds tough,” Cannon agreed.
“Now, tell us what you do.”
“I soak up water from people.”
“I soaked up some water once, when Grunter stepped in a puddle. I didn‘t like it.”
“Why not? It‘s great.”

A Wet One (Socks CCXXXIV)

Dyson talked about electricity all while the shower ran. Rar didn’t believe a word of what she said about electricity, but kept it to himself, not wanting to argue.
The shower stopped, Pretty came in, draped a wet towel over Dyson, put on a robe, and left the room.
Rar watched the ankles go by again, and expressed his admiration.
“The rest ain’t bad either,” said the towel.
“Must be a male thing,” Dyson said.
“Ain’t it great,” the towel added.
Rar couldn’t see the towel, “Who is that, Dyson?”
“A wet towel.”
“What’s your name?”
“I don’t have one.”

Electricity (Socks CCXXXIII)

They were on a new subject.
“It’s a hard thing to explain, but it’s the thing that gives me the energy to pick stuff up, and sing.”
“Then why do you eat?”
“I like the taste of the particles.”
“Where do you get the electricity?”
“From a hole in the wall.”
“I thought your fire story was hard to believe.”
“What?”
“Does the electricity just bounce right out for you to eat.”
“No. My tail gets plugged in.”
“Then you start singing?”
“I can feel it in my tail, until my switch gets flipped, then I get warm all over.”

Passing Ankles (Socks CCXXXII)

“Where is the string now?”
“I don’t know, but Pretty emptied my belly at the same time, so he probably went with the other stuff.”
The two objects had run out of things they wanted to talk about to each other. They looked around the room without a word passing between them, all day.
When Pretty finally came into the room, she undressed, put the clothes in the basket, and walked to the bathroom.
“Did you see those ankles?”
Dyson didn’t answer.
“Hey, are you listening?”
“I heard you.”
“Well?”
“Yes, I did see her ankles, but I prefer electricity.”

String Theory (Socks CCXXXI)

“We call the woman that pushes you around Pretty,” explained Rar. Then he explained the household situation.
Rar wanted to know about tickles.
“It’s a feeling when something makes you want to laugh.”
“A joke?”
“No, something has to touch you. One time a string got caught half way down my throat.”
“I’m made of strings.”
“This one kept tickling my throat, and made me cough while I was trying to sing.”
“What did you do?”
“I had to quit singing, so Pretty could get the string out. The string didn’t mean any harm, he was just having some fun.

Pickles (Socks CCXXX)

“When something bounces in my mouth, it tickles.”
“Is tickles like pickles? ”
“I don’t know. What’s pickles?”
“I don’t know.”
“Now I’m not sure I believe you.”
“Why?”
“Pickles doesn’t even sound like a real word.”
“But I…”
“Tell me, is pickles behind the dresser with you?”
“No, it’s…”
“You don’t look so good, maybe you have pickles.”
“You don’t…”
“Hear that? It sounds like pickles.”
“That’s not…”
“I‘m scared, pickles is after me.”
“Will you be quiet, and listen?”
“Ok.”
“It’s a real word, I heard Mom ask Pretty if she had any pickles.”
“Who’s Pretty? Pretty Pickles?”

Dyson’s Meals (Socks CCXXIX)

Rar went on to explain how Grunter got his name.
Dyson told tales of the things she had picked up that could not be eaten.
"I thought that's how you ate."
"I pick up everything, but most of it I don't eat."
"What do you eat?"
"The fine particles."
"What do you do with the other stuff?"
"My belly gets emptied when it gets full of stuff I can't eat."
"Like what?"
"All the big stuff. I picked up a paperclip once."
"I met a paperclip. He was strong."
"This one bounced around my mouth, then went to my belly."

Subject Change (Socks CCXXVIII)

"You could have made up that whole thing. How would I know?"
"Why would I make that up?"
"Did Lucien tell you the vacuum's name?"
"Hoover."
"When was this fire?"
"I don't know."
"Maybe you should have asked."
"I'm not talking about this."
"All I'm saying..."
"Change the subject, or stop talking."
"Ok, ok. Let's see. I know. I haven't seen you for a while. Where you been?"
"I've been in a closet. I used to come out and sing all the time, but the more the man yelled, the less I come out."
"Grunter."
"What?"
"We call him Grunter."

Fire Report (Socks CCXXVII)

"It was terrible. The mice and the people got out. And a couple spiders, too."
"What about the clothes?"
"Just what the people carried out."
"A table hollered to get carried out, a door screamed that his back was on fire, and a window split right down the middle."
"You weren't there."
"I know, but I heard about it."
"From who?"
"A watch."
"When?"
"I went in for repair once, and the watch was in at the same time. She just needed cleaning."
"I'm not sure I believe all of this. What was her name?"
"Lucien. Lucien Piccard. so, there."

Singing (Socks CCXXVI)

"I don't just run around the room making noise, you know."
"No, I don't know."
"Well, I slide across the floor, picking up any piece of dirt, lint, or crumbs I can find."
"What do you do with the stuff?"
"I eat it. That's what I live on."
"What happens if you don't sing?"
"My throat gets clogged, and I starve."
"Oh, my."
"I heard one time, a guy got clogged, and kept trying to eat. He got so hot that he burst into flames."
"Did not."
"Did too. The whole house and everything in it burned to a crisp."

Dyson (Socks CCXXV)

Rar could hear rhythmic breathing through the night.
The phone rang before the room got light, "Sure, I can work today."
With that Pretty sprang out of bed, knocked around the house for a while, and left as light started coming in the window.
Rar could see under the dresser. He read the word, "Dyson."
"Hello."
"Hello, where are you?"
"Behind the dresser. Look under it."
"Oh, there you are. I've seen you before."
"I've seen you too. Grunter used to lift me up in the air while you made noise."
"Singing."
"What?"
"I sing to keep my throat clear."

Cleaning Day (Socks CCXXIV)

The next morning, "Sorry Mom, I didn't feel like talking to anyone last night."
*
"I can't, I refinance the house today at eleven."
*
"Thanks, but I still want to be alone."
*
"No, I won't sulk all day. I'm going to clean the house, it really needs it."
Pretty was gone for a while, but when she got home, the vacuum came out.
Rar could hear large things being pushed around in the next room, then the vacuum would run.
Very soon after dark, Pretty scooted the vacuum next to the dresser, showered, climbed into bed and turned off the light.

Today's The Day (Socks CCXXIII)

One day Pretty stayed in bed all morning. The phone rang several times. She let the machine get it, and listened, before she'd pick up and talk. Rar heard Grunter's voice four times before Pretty talked to him.
"Yes, I got your messages."
*
"I'm doing good."
*
"I know it's final today."
*
"I know, we have until three to change our minds."
*
"No. I'm not changing my mind."
*
"No, do not come over here."
*
"Look, I'm going to refinance the house."
*
"I have an appointment at the bank tomorrow. "
*
"You'll get your money, as soon as I sign the papers."

Staying Behind (Socks CCXXII)

"I'm not taking this argyle without the other."
"Don't."
"In fact you can keep all this $#!t."
"I don't care, but it's time for you to go."
"And if I don't?"
"I'll call 911."
"You would. I'm leaving."
All was quiet again. Pretty put Boxer and the other stuff into the closet.
Lar was by himself in the drawer.
Rar was lonely behind the dresser.
Pretty used the phone a lot while lying on the bed. She spent a lot of time there.
"Yea, I'm doing ok, mom."
Or, "Sure, I can work tonight."
And, "No, you can't come home."

Full Circle (Socks CCXXI)

After a few days Pretty pulled all of the clothes from the basket, but all of the clothes that Grunter had worn got tossed back in. This happened again in a few more days, but the third time all articles went into the wash, except Rar. He was still behind the dresser.
Rar saw large feet enter the room.
Lar was back in the drawer when Grunter opened it. He took everything out except Lar.
"Where's my other grey argyle?"
"It wasn't in the wash."
"Bu!!$#!t, you lying b!t(#."
"I didn't have to let you come here."
"OK, your highness."

Emergency Housing (Socks CCXX)

"Just a couple of days."
*
"I've got to teach the old lady a lesson."
*
"Because she's forever on my case. I've had it up to..."
*
"She'll crawl back in a week."
Rar heard Grunter grunting under a strain, then he left. There was a bump as Grunter reached the door, "$#!#."
There was another bump out in the kitchen just before the back door shut.
All was quiet until Pretty got home.
Rar heard Pretty on the phone, "He's gone. He took most of his stuff."
"Both suitcases are gone, and there's a big gouge in the bedroom door trim."

Midday (Socks CCXIX)

"Can you give me a ride to the impound yard?"
"I would have to charge you, besides it's only a dozen blocks."
Grunter started walking, "Shyster."
The sun was straight overhead when Grunter got home. He stood in the bedroom doorway, undressing, and throwing his clothes in the basket from across the room. Every article of clothing landed in the basket, except Rar.
Rar landed behind the dresser. He could hear the water of the shower running. He could hear Grunter opening drawers and the closet. He could hear Grunter on the phone.
"Can I crash at your place, man?"

Late Fee (Socks CCXVIII)

Grunter returned to the table, his hair wet.
"Is this your first offense?"
"Yes."
"Good, I'll try to get you released without bail. Your wife has indicated that she would not pay your bail."
"Oh, no."
"What?"
"I need to call in to work. What time will we be done here?"
"Ten, ten-thirty."
"Oh, well. I'll say I'm sick."
When the whole thing was over, Grunter and his attorney walked out of the building.
"I'll need a thousand dollar retainer by end of business tomorrow, plus the two hundred dollars for last night's after hours call. It's a standard charge."

Fourth Man (Socks CCXVII)

"You alright? Would you like some water?"
Grunter looked up at the attorney, "How about some aspirin."
"Not in here. I'll get you some water."
The man left the table for a short time. Grunter downed the water.
"Let's get down to business. You're fourth on the docket."
"What time do I see the judge?"
"You won't, but he'll see you. It's all done by closed circuit TV."
"Ok, when?"
"Soon. I want you to ask to go to the bathroom. Wash your face. Wet your hair, straighten it up as much as you can."
"I don't have a comb."

Last Man (Socks CCXVI)

Just as Grunter laid down on the slab the guard came back. Without calling any names, "I guess your the last belle at the ball. Your lawyer's here."
Grunter was led to a room. The people from the night before were there, each one talking with a person with a briefcase.
"Your wife's attorney called me last night. I can represent you in this matter."
"How did? Who called you?"
"Your wife called her attorney. Apparently you left a message that you had been arrested."
Grunter put his elbows on the table, his face in has hands, rubbing his eyes.

Calling Names (Socks CCXV)

After a while the guard came to the door holding a clipboard, he called several names, "Your lawyers are here."
Grunter, Hairy, and one other the were the last ones left in the room. The third man, with white, messed up hair, and teeth missing, walked to the toilet, and unzipped his pants.
Grunter got up and went to the vacant slab.
"Don't lay down, that's my spot."
"Is your name on it?"
Hairy sat up on his slab, "Respect your elders, numb nu..."
The guard called two names.
Hairy put his shirt on, "You can have the bed now."

A Little Gift (Socks CCXIV)

"Didn't you get to make a call when you got here?"
"Yes, I called my wife's cell, and left a message."
From back in the room, "You don't call a wife, if she's mad, she'll leave you here. You're supposed to call a lawyer."
The hairy man was standing again, "I'm going back to sleep. Why don't you go sit down and shut up?"
As the guard walked away, "Yea, go sit down. We'll call you when the judge gets here."
As Grunter passed the toilet, "Whew!" He then flushed.
Hairy laughed, "I left that, just for you. Like it?"

Morning Surprise (Socks CCXIII)

Grunter found the only place in the room left to sit on the floor with his back to the wall. It was right next to the toilet. He was soon asleep.
Just as daylight began to break through the one small window, high up on the wall, Grunter woke. The man with the hairy back was noisily sitting on the toilet, a terrible smell filled the area.
Grunter went over by the door, "Hey. Guard."
"What do you want?"
"How long am I gonna be in here?"
"The judge will be in about nine."
"Can I make a phone call?"

Cellmate (Socks CCXII)

A half dozen other men were in the room. The room didn't smell very good.
After a few minutes Grunter started to walk across the room.
"Where you going?"
"I was going to sit down."
"No you're not," a man with a hairy back was lying one of two raised slabs, that looked as if they were made of the same material as the floor, his shirt was under his head. "Go back, and block the light so I can sleep."
"But, I..."
"Do it, a$$#*!(."
Grunter went back to the door, staying there until after the man started snoring.

Protocol (Socks CCXI)

Grunter finally took his hands from behind his back, and another blue man gave him orders, "Start with your thumb."
"Turn to the right."
"Turn to the left."
"Look straight ahead," then lights would flash.
He was taken to a small room. A blue man put grunter's "valuables" in a brown bag. Next he gave his belt to the man.
"Why the hell do you need my shoelaces?"
"It's protocol, sir."
The shoelaces were turned over, "Sign here, sir."
Now he was guided to another room, the door closed with a clank.
Grunter stood with his back to the door.

Denied Request (Socks CCX)

By now another large vehicle had backed up in front of Grunter's car, yellow flashing lights blended with the red and blue flashing lights.
Grunter stood, leaning against one of the black and white cars, his hands behind his back.
Grunter's car was pulled up onto the large vehicle, and left without Grunter.
One of the blue men opened the back door, "Watch your head, sir."
Soon they were in a well lit room with several blue men moving around. One of them had Grunter sit down, to get all of his "information."
Grunter asked to use the bathroom.
"Later."

Blue Man Group (Socks CCIX)

Soon, another blue man came, then another.
Rar began to remember something, "Lar, I think these are the guys we saw on TV at Mom's."
"What guys?"
"Can't you tell? Three men? Blue?"
"I can't remember."
"Do I have to spell it out?"
"I guess so."
"One more clue. We were on the shelf, with Dick. It was after dark, Mom and Dad were watching Leno, with the big jaw."
"I don't remember."
"Three blue guys playing music."
"Tell me."
"OK, I will, but you're just not trying."
"Just tell me."
"Stop yelling. It's the Blue Man Group."
"You're nuts."

Blue Man (Socks CCVIII)

"You went through a stop sign without stopping."
"What stop sign?"
"Wait right here, sir. I'll be right back."
After a short time, "Have you been drinking tonight, sir?"
"No."
"Would you please step out of the car, sir?"
Grunter got out. The blue man asked many questions, and had Grunter do many physical actions, "Put your arms out to the side, close your eyes, lean your head back, and touch your nose with the tip of your finger."
Grunter would have fell backwards, had the blue man not caught him.
"Will you agree to take a breath-a-lizer test, sir?"

Blue Lights (Socks CCVII)

Frank left, Grunter stayed and had a few more beers.
Out in the lot, Grunter dropped his keys twice trying to unlock the car door. He got in the car and dropped them again trying to put them in the ignition.
The car finally moved. Very soon a loud noise that the boys didn't recognize came from outside the car, and red and blue lights were flashing, "Son of a..."
The car stopped, "May I see your license and registration, please sir."
Grunter handed a man in blue a couple of items.
"Do you know why I stopped you, sir?"

Warning (Socks CCVI)

"Don't worry, I'm not firing you. I'm just saying that if Gina, or Essex, or the company ends up in the papers, it could be bad for business. And that could be bad for employment."
"It's not my fault, sir."
"Who's fault do you think it would be? I think it would be better to keep your mouth closed."
Grunter's feet shuffled under the table.
"That's better. I suggest you get those pictures destroyed."
"I will, Frank. I'll do whatever it takes."
"I also suggest that you help your team more."
"I will, Frank."
"Maybe you should call me sir."

Thin Ice (Socks CCV)

Once in the booth, "Had some trouble today, huh?"
"A little."
"Gina told me about the pictures."
"She told you?"
"I've known Gina for ten years. I lost a good employee over her."
"You won't lose me, sir."
"I'm not worried about that, let me be blunt. You're already on thin ice."
"What do you mean?"
"I know that Tim and Megan did most, if not all, of the work on the presentation. I think Megan could do her job and yours at the same time."
"But you saw me at the office late one night."
"Yes, with wet hair."

Burger at the Bar (Socks CCIV)

Gina pulled her hand away from Grunter's chin so quickly that his head turned to one side, and there was a snapping sound.
Grunter watched her walk across the lot. When she got to her car, she looked up, and flicked her hand in his direction, "Go away."
Grunter went into the bar, ordered a beer, "Can I get a burger here at the bar?"
Grunter was halfway through his burger when someone sat next to him, and ordered a beer.
"Frank, what brings you back here?"
"Gina called me. Let's grab that booth in the corner, take your burger."

Thick Head (Socks CCIII)

"Get those pictures destroyed, or you'll be removed from the Essex account."
"How?"
"Will she file for divorce?"
"Yep."
"Make it part of the settlement."
"How?"
"You will give her anything she asks for."
"I have to be out of the house tomorrow. Can I stay with you?"
"I told you, we're through."
"I'll sleep on the couch."
"And if I have company over, how can I have sex on the couch? You know I like to have sex on the couch."
"I'd be on the couch. Ready to use."
Gina put her hand on Grunter's chin, "WE, ARE, THROUGH."

Stay Here (Socks CCII)

As the large man got in his car, "Why don't you eat here, they have a nice restaurant."
Pretty started her car and pulled out of her space, the large man started his car and followed Pretty, and Grunter walked toward the hotel entrance just as Gina stepped out the door.
"Why are you still here?"
"My wife and some private detective were here. They have pictures of you and me in the room, screwing."
"How could they?"
"Well, not literally, but we were naked, you were topless."
"What are they going to do with the pictures?"
"I didn't ask."

Stay Away (Socks CCI)

Grunter agreed to stay away, "Call my cell when you get done."
"I suggest no contact for forty-eight hours," the large man said.
"Ok, I'll wait one hour. One hour, that's all."
"You can get nasty if you want, but it's over. I'll be nice. You can pick up the papers at my lawyer's, I'll call."
"What's so nice about that?"
"Should I have you served at work?"
"You win, call me, I'll pick up the papers."
"Pick up after yourself tonight, I won't be there to clean up," Pretty turned and walked.
Grunter stood in the lot, kicking pebbles.

I'll Pack (Socks CC)

"Now what?" Grunter asked.
"I'm staying at my Mom's tonight. I'll go to the lawyer tomorrow."
"Won't you give me another chance?"
"No I won't."
Pretty began talking, every once in a while stopping to blow her nose, "I'm going to go home as soon as I leave here, and pack a suitcase."
"But..."
"That doesn't mean that you get the house, be ready to move out tomorrow."
Grunter remained quiet.
"Sir, I'll be following your wife home. I'll be there, waiting outside. I am asking you very nicely, see me smiling, to stay away for at least an hour.

Zoom In (Socks CXCIX)

"The man and woman seem to know each other quite well. Wouldn't you agree, sir?"
Silence.
"These next three, I took in rapid succession. That's definitely you, reaching for the drapes, wearing just your boxers."
From the far side of the car, "Try and get out of..."
She stopped when the large man looked at her, "In this picture Gina sits up in bed. I can't say that she's naked, but she sure is topless."
"Any more?"
"No. That's when you closed the drapes, and I called your wife. I showed her all the pictures while we waited for you."

Voyeur (Socks CXCVIII)

"So what? We had a drink after the meeting. Proves nothing."
Pretty asked, "One?"
The large man held his hand up again.
"I apologize for the quality of the previous pictures, sir. These next ones won't be grainy. I was able to use a larger lens."
"Will you hurry?"
"When you and Gina left the bar, I came outside."
"So?"
"Well, I got outside, and through that window," the man pointed to a window on the first floor, "I shot this."
Grunter said nothing.
"Sorry, in the next one, we'll actually see the faces of the couple on the bed."

Pictures (Socks CXCVII)

"Gina? Is that the woman from Essex?"
"Yea, what of it?"
"Well, when Gina came to the bar and talked to the woman in this picture, the mad one, they didn't seem to know each other."
"Where is all of this going?"
"Here's one of you and Gina getting in her car."
"She wanted to... show me a billboard from their competitors."
"I doubt that" came from the other side of the car.
"Let me show him the rest of the pictures. I've got some from today, sir."
"Ok, go ahead."
"This is you, and Gina, in the bar, here."

Laptop (Socks CXCVI)

"You're nuts, I had a presentation today."
"We know about the presentation. I have some pictures that I think you should see before saying any more."
The large man opened the back door, took something out, and set it on the hood of his car, "I haven't printed these pictures, and I won't, unless I need to. You can view them on my laptop."
"What pictures."
"Here's one of you in a restaurant, with a woman from The Essex Corporation."
"It's business."
"Here's another. Who's the other woman talking to the two of you? She looks mad."
"That's Gina's friend."

Large Man (Socks CXCV)

Rar could see Pretty's ankles, she was standing on the other side of the car.
"What are you doing here? Who is this guy?" Grunter started to move toward Pretty, but the large man stepped in his way.
"We'll explain all of that, sir."
Pretty shut the door on the other side of the car, "The question is, what were you doing?"
The large man held up his hand, "Hold it. I'll explain everything."
"Well, get to it, so I can go home."
"Sir, your wife here, has hired me. She has reason to believe that you have been unfaithful."

Not Leaving (Socks CXCIV)

Grunter opened the door and left. The door he left open did not click shut until he had passed four other doors.
Walking down the hall he passed the front desk, through the double doors, and out into the lot.
Lar spotted Grunter's car, but Grunter didn't go there. Instead he went to the car parked directly behind his, "Could you move your car, please? You're blocking me in."
A large man got out of the car, "I will, in a moment."
"But, I need to leave now."
Then, Pretty's voice came from inside the car, "How was the meeting?"

A Leaving (Socks CXCIII)

"Are you sure you wouldn't like to...You're already naked."
"Don't make me be mean, and tell you that it wasn't that good. Just leave."
"But I'm responsible for the room."
"You didn't even know about the room, until I told you about it. I'll turn the cardkey in when I go."
Putting the card on the dresser, Grunter turned to go.
As his hand touched the knob, from behind him, "Besides I might go hang out at the bar, I might be able to get lucky."
Grunter spun around, his mouth opened, then closed, then opened again, lastly closing again.

An Ending (Socks CXCII)

"This, this, affair, this, fling, has run it's course."
"But, Gina..."
"Don't talk, just listen. It was good while it lasted"
"Do you mean???"
"We're through, that's what I mean."
"Am I still on the ad campaign?"
"Stop your whining. That's only one of the reasons I'm ending this. I can't stand a wimp."
"What about my job?"
"That's up to Frank, I won't object if you stay on."
"I can keep it on a professional level."
"I'll say this, you better."
"I will. Tell me something, Gina. Was that our last roll in the sack?"
"Unless I decide otherwise."

Dressing (Socks CXCI)

Grunter went into the other room. The door was open, and water could be heard running. He came out, one towel around his waist, drying his hair with another.
Gina lay on the bed looking in Grunter's direction, maybe a little off to the side of him, smoking a cigarette.
"You don't smoke."
"I smoke once in a while."
When Grunter finished dressing, Gina was still on the bed, naked, "Are you going to get dressed?"
By now Gina had the remote, channel surfing.
Grunter started unbuttoning his shirt, "If your not getting dressed..."
"Forget it. We need to talk."

"Oops" (Socks CXC)

Gina and Grunter stayed at the bar while other people came and went.
Finally Gina said, "Let's go. Still got the key?"
As soon as they got in the room they fell on the bed, pulling at each other's clothing.
There was a blouse and a shirt on the floor. When Grunter stood and removed his pants, Gina said, "Oh Sh!#. Close the drapes."
Grunter walked over and pulled the drapes, Boxer and Rar his only covering.
Boxer got tossed to the floor, but Rar stayed on the foot with the bunion during the whole sweaty, groaning, stubbly ankled performance.

"Oh" (Socks CLXXXIX)

Grunter put the cardkey in his pocket, and turned to grab another box.
Rar saw what Grunter could not. Tim and Megan looked at each other, Tim shrugged. Megan held her hand close to her chest and pointed at Gina, then used that same finger to spear the circled finger and thumb of her other hand. Tim's mouth formed an "O."
By the time the room was empty, Gina was not in sight.
Grunter stood in the meeting room with Tim, "You and Megan, park the van at the office, unload tomorrow."
Grunter sat next to Gina at the bar.

The Key (Socks CLXXXVIII)

Everyone carried something out to the parking lot.
Frank and Sid went to their respective cars, Tim and Megan were already back inside, and Gina and Grunter were going back in. Gina, in a loud whisper, "Get the cardkey from Megan."
"What cardkey?"
"To the room that the company gets when they rent the meeting room."
"I don't know..."
"You get a complimentary room, to freshen up, that sort of thing."
"Oh."
"Just how involved were you in this campaign?"
"Well, I..."
"Forget it. Just get the key."
Grunter got the key, telling Megan he wanted to wash his face.

Relaxing (Socks CLXXXVII)

Tim and Megan started packing while Sid, Gina, Frank, and Grunter sat at the tale talking, once in a while asking Tim, or Megan a question.
Frank stood, "I could use a drink, anyone else?"
The other three agreed, Frank asked Tim and Megan.
"Go ahead Tim, I'll drive back."
"Ok. I'll take a draft, a tall one."
All six sat at the table, leaning back, finishing their drinks, and talking.
Tim was the first to stand, "I think I'll get this stuff back to the van."
Sid stood, "I'll take a load out on the way to the car."

Due Credit (Socks CLXXXVI)

The plates were removed, Grunter stood, took a silver cylinder from the cart, and started talking. He stopped talking, looked at the cylinder, touched it with his finger, "Click."
Grunter's voice was louder, "I'd like to welcome Sid and Gina from Essex..."
He went on to say how much work had went into this campaign, "Megan and Tim were instrumental from conception to reality."
He talked a few more minutes then handed the cylinder to Megan. Tim pulled his chair next to the cart.
Megan finished speaking. The crowd, by ones and twos, shook hands with Tim, Megan, and Grunter.

All Ready (Socks CLXXXV)

Soon Tim said, "That's all. I'm going to change my shirt."
Grunter sat at one of the tables, tapping his foot.
A man and a woman, both wearing black pants and white shirts came in, and filled the water glasses on the half dozen tables.
Tim and Megan were back, and couldn't seem to stand still.
People began to enter, and sit down. Sid and Gina came in together and sat near the front with Frank, Grunter, Megan, and Tim. When most of the seats at the other tables were full, people wearing black pants sat plates on the table.

A Bracer (Socks CLXXXIV)

Grunter left the large room. As he left, Tim and Megan were unpacking boxes, talking, and setting up at one end of the room.
Shortly after Grunter sat on a high stool Rar noted that alcohol was coming from Grunter's pores.
"He's having beer."
Boxer was concerned, "I hope he doesn't dribble on me again."
His worries were unfounded, after one, Grunter went back to the large room.
"Need some help?"
"Yes, would you and Tim set the Proxima while I go put on a skirt for the presentation?"
Grunter grabbed a cart, "Tim, where should I put this thing?"

A Little Help (Socks CLXXXIII)

Grunter pushed the button, the door opened , he stood still. The door closed. Grunter turned and took the stairs up one flight, walking through the lobby, and out to his car.
Once in the car he took out his cell, "I'm going over to the Clarion. Would you go in and shut my computer down?"
*
"No, I'll be gone the rest of the day."
When the car stopped Grunter got out next to the van from the parking garage.
"Need some help?"
"Sure, grab anything from the van."
When the van was empty Grunter said, "I'll be right back."

Loading Zone (Socks CLXXXII)

"There's two more loads. Wanna help?"
The door closed, then opened. They picked up two boxes around the corner, and went back in. The door opened into a large, echoey room, full of cars. They went to where Megan was loading a van.
"I didn't expect you to be here. You going to help set up?"
"I don't think so. You two go ahead, I'll be down later."
Tim and Megan finished loading the van, talking to each other. Neither one talked to Grunter, and he didn't talk to them.
The van started and left, Grunter walked to the elevator.

Elevator Ride (Socks CLXXXI)

After Grunter hung up he went down the hall.
Stopping at a desk he asked, "Where is Megan and Tim?"
"They took some carts down to the garage a few minutes ago."
Grunter walked to a shiny door, and pushed a button. The door slid open. Grunter got on and pushed a button. The door closed.
Rar heard a "PPHHTT" sound, "What was that?"
"Take a guess," said Boxer, "If he sniffs..."
Grunter didn't sniff, so Boxer left him alone.
The door opened, Tim got on. "What the...Did you do that?"
"No it smelled like this when I got on."

Gotta Go (Socks CLXXX)

Megan stood, "If that's all, I'd like to get the presentation packed up. It's nine already, and lunch is at noon."
"She's right. That's just enough time to get to the Clarion and get set up. Remember what we said, don't take the credit for yourself."
Tim and Megan left, closing the door.
Grunter made a call, "Not much. I've got a presentation at noon, just waiting to go over."
*
"I can't, Gina wants to get together after."
*
"How's the old lady gonna catch me. It's a business meeting."
*
"Look, I just called to see if you caught Sports Center."

Strange Assumption (Socks CLXXIX)

Tim stood up, "Lets not start fighting just before today's meeting."
"That's right, Megan you should..."
"Hold it. I agree with everything Megan said, I just don't want the tension to show this afternoon."
No one spoke.
Tim sat back down, "Megan has worked her tail off on this project, so you better give her lots of credit today."
"Not just me, Tim was there every step of the way."
"Ok, I get it. You two get all the credit. What is this, a little hanky panky on the side?"
Tim and Megan both laughed, "Megan and I are cousins."

Stating Opinion (Socks CLXXVIII)

"What about Megan's reputation? What about mine?"
"But I'm responsible..."
"You probably should have been there for some of our late nights."
"When did you stay late."
"Two days last week, two the week before. One night Tim came over to my house, my husband entertained the kids while we worked."
"You should have told me."
"You have no idea how much work goes into a campaign like this."
"I've been here for five years."
"Yea, it amazes me that how you slid by for five years too."
"This is insubordination."
"I'm not refusing to work, just stating my opinion."

Pre-Meeting (Socks CLXXVII)

"Tim, you and Megan, come to my office. Ten minutes."
Grunter left his office, got a coffee, and came right back.
Tim walked in first, a few minutes later Megan came in.
"Frank wants to know if we're ready for this afternoon."
Silence.
"Well?"
"Almost."
"What does almost mean?"
"The presentation is done, but you haven't practiced it yet."
"I expected that you and Tim would present."
"Then I guess, we're ready."
"I want to watch your practice this morning."
"We stayed till midnight last night practicing. I don't think we'll practice today."
"But, my reputation is on the line."

The Fun Begins (Socks CLXXVI)

On the road this day, this Tuesday, Grunter's left foot tapped almost constantly. When the car wasn't moving, his right heal would tap. He couldn't seem to settle on a radio station. He blew the horn more than usual. He berated other drivers. He muttered after parking, and shut the engine off, stopping only when he opened the door and got out.
Pausing at the front desk, Grunter found no messages.
Frank came into Grunter's office even before he could sit down, asking if the presentation was ready. Grunter assured him it was. Frank left.
Grunter grabbed the phone immediately.

Thursday to Tuesday (Socks CLXXV)

"That is at least an hour that's unaccounted for."
*
"There's nothing I can do yet."
*
"I looked at his calendar, his next meeting with Essex is next Tuesday.
*
I told the Fatman, he's ready to follow Cheater from the office."
Pretty ended her call, and tossed the clothes in the wash. After their swim, tumble, and fold she put Rar and Lar in the drawer, along with boxer.
After a few days the boys and Boxer got taken from the drawer at the same time. Boxer and the twins had very seldom worked together.
"I hope we do something fun."

Three Rings (Socks CLXXIV)

"Wait, that's not all. The older man from Leo's was parked behind Cheater. They talked outside the car before they left the office."
*
"I think it was probably Frank, from the description."
*
"Who knows what they talked about.
*
"I don't know how long Cheater was at the office, but I do know that I called three times before he answered."
*
"Well, earlier he called me, and said that he was on the way to the office. I waited forty-five minutes, called his number, no answer. A half-hour after later I tried again. He answered the third call, a half-hour later."

Tracker (Socks CLXXIII)

"Yes, that was when Fatman lost them."
*
"Well, he went back to Leo's, and Cheater's car was gone. He couldn't get a read on the tracker."
*
"I told you, Fatman gave me a tracking device to put in the trunk of the car."
*
"Anyway, he decided to go in, and try to talk to the girl. He couldn't reveal too much, so she thought Fatman was hitting on her. She blew him off."
*
"I don't think he's wasting my money."
*
"When Fatman was going home, he got a read on the tracker. The car was in the office parking lot."

Quick Turn (Socks CLXXII)

"An older man stopped and talked to Cheater's friend, then followed Cheater into the bathroom."
*
"Well, maybe he was as old as you and Dad, but Fatman didn't say anything about him having a walker."
*
Pretty giggled, "You deserved it for interrupting me."
*
Anyway, when Cheater came out of the bathroom, they left, but the woman stopped and talked with the girl, and gave her what looked like a business card."
*
"He didn't see the card."
*
"They left in her car, and as Fatman followed, they turned around in a parking lot so fast he didn't dare stay with them."

Another View (Socks CLXXI)

"While they were eating..."
*
"Yes, while Cheater and his girlfriend were eating, another girl in her twenties came over to their table..."
*
"Yes, Fatman was sitting at the bar, watching. Anyway, the girl looked like she was mad at Cheater."
*
"No, he couldn't hear what was said."
*
"If you don't stop interrupting Ill never get through this ."
*
"Anyway, the girl went back to her seat, but Fatman didn't want Cheater to see him talking to her."
*
"He did overhear her talking to her girlfriend. The girl thinks that Cheater's name is Frank Petersen."
*
"Yes, Mom, that's his boss's name."

An Alleged Cheater (Socks CLXX)

"No Mom, Fatman didn't catch him red-handed."
*
"Let me tell you everything. The Cheater was in a booth with a..."
*
"No, I won't use his name."
*
"It is not silly. Remember when you got mad at Aunt Lil, you didn't use her name for most of my senior year."
*
"Anyway, Cheater was with a woman in her forties."
*
"Yea, fifteen to twenty years older."
*
"He might be, they left together."
*
"He tried to follow them. They lost him, but he got her plate number."
*
"It's a leased car registered to The Essex Corporation."
*
"Stop asking questions, I'm getting side tracked."

Tee Talks (Socks CLXIX)

"Who," said Tee.
"Who? What?"
"Pavarotti is a who."
Tee finished explaining Pavarotti.
Rar was skeptical, "How do you know Pavarotti?"
"Don't you listen to the music that Pretty plays when she's knocking the dust from everything?"
"Not really, I'm in here when the music is on. Hard to hear from inside the drawer."
After a time Pretty came home. Again she picked up the basket. But she sat it down again before leaving the bedroom. She picked up the phone, "Mom, got a minute to talk?"
"Fatman followed him last night. He was at Leo's Grill. With a woman."

The Tenor (Socks CLXVIII)

Pretty slid the basket back in it's place, and left the house.
Rar had hoped to get to take a swim.
"I thought we were getting in the washer."
"Me too, Brother."
In the corner of the bedroom, in the basket the Twins, a tee shirt, Boxer, and two brassieres talked about their jobs.
The bra with the higher more delicate voice, the pink one, just did her job to the best of her ability without passion.
But Blackie, according to Tee, would sing like Pavarotti all day long when he was on duty.
Rar was confused, "What's a Pavarotti?"

Appointment (Socks CLXVII)

Grunter moved around the house doing his daily routine. He kissed Pretty on the forehead and left.
Pretty sat on the edge of the bed while the sound of The Early Show came from the TV in the living room. She took the cordless phone next to the bed from the hook, leaving a message for "Mick Jagger" to call her back.
The phone rang as she was carrying the clothes basket out of the bedroom door.
"Did you follow him last night?"
*
"Sorry, I forgot that you won't talk on the phone."
*
"Sure, I'll be there in thirty minutes."

Snoring (Socks CLXVI)

Frank continued to explain that no one else in the office knew that Kathy was his niece.
"It keeps things neater. No accusations of favoritism. Besides one more semester, and she'll graduate."
Grunter drove home, Pretty was in bed when he got there. His clothes ended up in a pile five feet from the basket. Again.
Momentarily, Grunter's breathing got rhythmic. Pretty got up and went to the other room. She didn't come back all night.
The alarm sounded, Grunter walked out, and from the other room, "Why did you sleep out here?"
"You were snoring, and I couldn't sleep."

Nervous (Socks CLXV)

Rar noted to Lar that Grunter had started sweating again.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Petersen. I didn't mean..."
"Let that be a lesson. Know your audience before speaking."
"I will, sir."
"I notice that when you get nervous, you forget to call me Frank."
"I'm sorry, Mr. Pet...Frank."
Frank put his hand on the younger man's shoulder, "Take it easy. I wouldn't care what you do, or with whom, but Kathy is my wife's sister's daughter."
"I see, sir."
"Kathy is, shall we say, no angel. But I will not answer to my wife, or sister-in-law, for what Kathy does here."

A Good Reason (Socks CLXIV)

"Let me suggest that you decline her offer."
Grunter got out of the car, "I will, if you say so."
"I do. And thank you for being so agreeable."
Frank smiled, stuck his hand out, and shook Grunter's, "You will stay away from Kathy, without even asking why?"
"Anything you want, Frank."
"I don't want you to go along just because I'm your boss."
"What, you want her for yourself? It doesn't matter, Frank. There is plenty of p^$$! to be had."
"That's not it, my boy." Frank stared directly in Grunter's eyes, "It seems that Kathy is my niece."

Late Night Meeting (Socks CLXIII)

Before Grunter could start his car, the headlights of the car behind him turned on. The outline of a man walking toward Grunter was visible in the driver's side mirror.
Frank tapped on the window.
"You scared me Frank."
"Sorry, didn't mean to. I was talking on the phone when you came out, so I waited."
"Did you need me to do something?"
"No, but when I saw you I decided to tell you something tonight instead of waiting till tomorrow."
"What's that?"
"I saw Kathy hold your hand back in your office."
"Yea, she invited me for a beer."

Kathy's Method (Socks CLXII)

Kathy stepped out of the door, "I'll have to escort you out, Frank. I'm not sure you can be trusted alone."
"Hurry up, my wife was being friendly," then Frank said something unintelligible.
"You're telling me more than I really need to know, Frank."
Grunter typed, clicked a few more times, then shut the computer down.
Kathy was at the front desk, "Where's John?"
"Bathroom."
Grunter held up his badge, "Good enough?"
"Sorry, again."
"I'm going to hold you to that beer."
"Sure. Most nights I get out at eleven, and when I go out, I stay for last call."

Kathy's Number (Socks CLXI)

Kathy stuck out her hand first, "I really am sorry, I shouldn't have teased you. I've seen you go through the front lobby and just assumed..."
"I thought it strange that you wanted me to wear my badge in my office. I shouldn't have got upset."
Frank headed for the door, "I'm going home. Maybe my wife is still in a cooperative mood."
Kathy held onto Grunter's hand a little longer than expected, "To show no hard feelings, call sometime, I'll buy you a beer."
"Sounds good."
"Write down my work number."
Grunter grabbed his pen.
"You ready?"
"Shoot."
"Zero."

Waiting For Kathy (Socks CLX)

"Kathy feels somewhat responsible for what happened. Says that she shouldn't have teased you without knowing you better."
Frank grabbed the phone and dialed, "John, Frank. Send Kathy up here, everything seems to be quiet."
As Frank hung up, "I got your message. I won't have to cover for you if you're really coming to the office."
"I didn't know I was coming here. I took a shower and couldn't go home with wet hair."
"That's all I need to know."
A knock was at the door. Frank opened the door, and invited Kathy in.
"Ok, Both of you. Apologize."

Just a Joke (Socks CLIX)

The guard left, closing the door. Grunter sat down and started typing and clicking.
After a time there was a knock at the door, "Well, if you came back to hassle me again, come on in."
The door opened, and Grunter stood up, "Mr. Petersen."
"I told you before, it's Frank."
"Ok."
"John called me on my cell, said there was a bit of a problem down here."
"Yes, the guard..."
"I know, but what you don't know is that Kathy, that's the guard, was just yanking your chain about the badge."
"Oh?"
"Kathy is willing to keep this unofficial."

Report (Socks CLVIII)

"Hello."
*
"Where else would I be?"
Grunter cupped his hand over the phone, "It's my wife. Do you mind?"
The woman in blue pointed to the badge clipped on his zipper.
Without success, Grunter tried to remove the badge one handed.
*
"What? I was talking to the security guard."
*
"I'm almost done, but don't wait up."
Grunter finished the call, removed his badge, and zipped up, "Anything else?"
"Yes. I'm going to have to report your actions, sir. In fact, while you were on the phone, I radioed John at the front desk to get a hold of Mr. Petersen."

Rules (Socks CLVII)

Grunter unzipped his pants and clipped the badge on the fly, "How's that? Does that comply with your stupid rules? Would you like to get close and read my name again?"
"Sir. that's uncalled for."
"Maybe I should haul out my @!($, and duct tape it directly to it. Would you like to see that?"
"Sir, I'm only doing my job."
"Is that in your job description to hassle the employees?"
"You're getting upset, sir. If this continues, I'll have to report this as harassment."
"If you have to, just leave."
The phone rang. The guard stood in the doorway.

Rounds (Socks CLVI)

"Just making rounds, sir. John at the front desk didn't say anyone was here."
"I'm almost done."
"May I see your employee badge, sir?"
Grunter went over to the chair, picked up his jacket, and took the badge out of the pocket, "Here you go."
The woman looked at the badge, then checked the name on the door.
"Thank you, sir."
"Is that all?"
"Just one more thing. Did you realize that you are supposed to wear your badge whenever you're in the building?"
"I'm in my office."
"I'm just informing you of the rules, sir."
"Ok, I'll wear it."

Thinking (Socks CLV)

Grunter got dressed and headed for the door, "I'll let myself out."
"Be ready to stay late after next Tuesday's meeting."
Grunter simply grunted, closed the door, sighed, got in his car, and drove to the office. He went to his desk and turned on the computer. He sat in front of the screen doing nothing, not typing, not clicking, just staring at the monitor.
There was a knock at the door, "It's open."
The boys could see a pair of very shinny shoes, and creased dark blue pants legs with a darker stripe on the side of each leg.

Christner Found (Socks CLIV)

Grunter wanted an explanation about Christner.
"What are you talking about?"
"At the restaurant tonight, Frank mentioned Christner, and now you say his name."
"So, Christner worked for Frank."
"I know, he quit."
"Christner is doing fine, he's over at Full Space Graphics."
"How do you know?"
"Essex does business with Full Space."
"And I suppose you do business with Christner?"
"It's time for you to go."
"It's time for you to explain."
"I will explain nothing. You will leave now, because I know that you used Frank's name to get into Shelly's knickers."
"You..."
"And I have Shelly's number."

Rerun (Socks CLIII)

Then it was like a rerun, drive to Gina's, off with the clothes, make the noises, get in the shower.
While Grunter was in the shower Gina walked out of the room and came back in with a glass of water. With her feet she moved Grunter's clothes into a pile, "You might be more trouble than Christner."
The bathroom door opened "What?"
"I was talking to myself."
"Did you say something about Christner?"
"You better get going, I have an early meeting."
"You said the name Chrisner."
"So?"
"Did you know Christner?"
"Yes."
"How well?"
"Go home, I'm tired."

Grunter Fabricates (Socks CLII)

Grunter went to his car. While driving, he punched buttons on his phone.
"I won't be home right away. We have more work to do."
A car honked at a dog in the street.
*
"Yes, I am driving."
*
"Where? Back to the office."
*
"Frank wants me to take care of something."
*
"I'm not going to explain my every move. You're not my mother."
*
"Don't you trust me?"
*
"My God, I'm just going back to the office for an hour."
Hanging up, grunter dialed again, "Frank, I need you to cover for me. If anyone asks I went to the office."

Grunter Waffles (Socks CLI)

Grunter turned, his car was across the lot.
Gina grabbed his sleeve, "Get in my car. Shelly is over by the door. I think she wants your plate number."
They drove, "Put in that Billy Joel CD."
After a few songs had played, Gina drove back into the parking lot, "She's gone. You can follow me to my house."
"I think I should go home."
"You have something to take care of first."
"It's getting late."
"It's not even nine o'clock."
"I should be getting home."
"You'll just have to work fast."
"I can't..."
"Stop talking. My house. Fifteen minutes."

Grunter Worries (Socks CL)

"What did she say?"
"We didn't talk very much. Yet."
"What do you mean, yet?"
"I might want to talk with her later."
"Why?"
"Like I said, she seems like a nice girl."
"Did you give her your card?"
"Ah, back to that. My assistant is pregnant. It wouldn't surprise me if she quits."
"You aren't thinking..."
"What business is that of yours?"
"But..."
"But nothing. Do you know what Shelly does for a living?"
"No, I don't."
"Neither do I, but I like her spunk."
"You can't..."
"Yes I can. That's enough talk, let's go."
"Gina, listen..."
"Let's go."

Grunter Waits (Socks CXLIX)

They sat at the table and talked for a few more minutes. Grunter had started to sweat more, and his foot was constantly bouncing.
"Let's go," Grunter took the lead heading straight for the door, but Gina went over to the end of the bar.
Out in the lot Grunter leaned against Gina's car, waiting, "Did you talk to Shelly? Did you give her your card? Why did you do that?"
"Whoa, one question at a time. I did talk to Shelly."
"What'd you say? What'd she say?"
"Slow down. She seems like nice girl. You should have been nicer."

Grunter Wonders (Socks CXLVIII)

Grunter put his phone away, stood in front of the mirror, and slowly combed his hair, "Christner? What the hell?"
The door opened, a man came in, and Grunter walked out to the table.
"I thought maybe you fell in."
"Why did you send Frank in there."
"I didn't. He saw us when they first came in the door, came over, and asked where you were."
"You ready? Did she bring the check yet."
"Yes, I'm ready, and HE brought the check. We had a waiter."
"Where's the check?"
"Essex paid. Or did you forget, this is a business meeting?"

Grunter Inquires (Socks CXLVII)

"Christner?" But the door was closed.
Grunter stood in the center of the room, and took out his phone. The phone said, "Beep, beep, beep."
"There it is," he pushed the green button.
"Randy, This is..."
*
"No, I didn't call for more advise."
*
"No, I don't need a new slogan."
*
"I called to ask about Christner."
*
"Why did he get fired?"
*
"He quit? Why?"
*
"Why would his wife..."
*
"Oh. With who?"
*
"Essex? What was her name?"
*
"But you're sure it was someone from Essex?"
*
"Ok, ok. Go back to your dinner."
*
"It's been programmed in my phone since..."
"Hello? Hello?"

Grunter Listens (Socks CXLVI)

"Your pretty, young wife called the day after we, supposedly, played Racquetball."
"What...I..."
"Don't worry, I covered for you."
"I don't..."
"The words you're looking for are 'Thank-you."
"Thank-you, Mr. Petersen."
"It's still Frank."
"Thank-you, Frank."
"I surmised what, or rather who you were up to."
"I won't try to lie to you, sir."
"No need to, just let me know before I need to cover for you."
"I'll remember that, Sir."
"Remember something else. Don't let your nightlife interfere with your business life."
"I will."
As Frank was leaving, "I would hate to see you end up like Christner."

Frank Talks (Socks CXLV)

Lar noted that as much as Grunter was squirming under Gina's questioning, his feet were shuffling and tapping more now.
"Maybe Frank won't notice us."
"I don't care if he does."
"But I'm married."
"You chicken, this is a business meeting."
"Good, he didn't see us. I'm going to the bathroom."
"Balk balk."
Grunter was in the restroom, the door opened, "Gina said you were in here."
"Hi Frank."
"So, you and Gina are here working out some of the bugs on the Essex campaign?"
"Yep. Just finishing up."
"Did I mention that your wife called me a while ago?"

Interrogation (Socks CXLIV)

"All that intrigue, just for some tail?"
"Gina..."
"Shelly's right. You're a snake."
"That was in the past."
"How long ago? And don't lie, I'll call Shelly over here."
"Almost a year."
"Was she the first during your marriage?"
"No."
"How many others?"
"Two."
"So, that's four indiscretions. In how many years?"
"Five and a half."
"Well, finish your drink, lets go to my house."
"I knew you'd understand."
"I understand that we, you and I, are going to my house tonight, and you, will, perform. Understand?"
Silence.
"Oh look, the real Frank Petersen, and his wife, just walked in."

Truth Extraction (Socks CXLIII)

They ate in silence.
Then, "I want to hear why you chose the name Frank?"
"I don't think it's important."
"Look, over at the end of the bar. She's still here. Shelly, that is her name? Maybe she'd like to meet the real Frank Petersen. Tell her story to him."
"OK, OK, I knew that Frank had an unlisted number."
"Keep talking. I want the whole story."
"The address I gave her was the house I grew up in, there was a fire ten years ago that destroyed five houses."
"Any more?"
"I told her that I worked at Pioneer."

Truth Hurts (Socks CXLII)

The ankles turned, "What is your real name?"
"Miss, were are having a business meeting here. I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
"Shelly, don't you..."
"Don't use my name unless you give me yours."
"Miss, don't make me call the manager."
"OK, I'll go, but remember, this guy is a snake."
The smooth ankles left.
"Frank Petersen? That was either gutsy, or just plain stupid."
"Did you mean what you said? That we are only colleagues?"
"You look hurt."
"Well did you mean it?"
"What do you care? You're married."
"Well I..."
"Get used to it. Frank."

You're What? (Socks CXLI)

"Miss, I don't know what your problem is, but the object of your anger is my work colleague. No more, no less."
"He took me to the casino for the weekend once. We had fun, gambled, saw a show. Then on Sunday morning while we were still in bed, he told me that he was married."
"Miss, I'm sorry for your misfortune..."
"Then he wouldn't answer his phone. I went to where he said he lived, it was a vacant lot. I called where he said he worked, they never heard of him. Is Frank Petersen even his real name?"

Unwanted Meeting (Socks CXL)

Time went by. The twins went to work with Grunter a few times with nothing remarkable happening. Meetings, dinners, trips to Gina's, and her stubbly ankles became commonplace.
Then after one particular meeting Grunter and Stubbly followed their routine of food and drinks.
A pair of smooth ankles came to the table, "I see no ring on this woman's finger. Where's your wife?"
"What do you want?"
"I want to expose you for the maggot that you are."
"Look, we came here for a quiet..."
The ankles turned a little, "Did he tell you that he's married?"
"Yes, I know."

Pretty Folds (Socks CXXXIX)

Pretty picked up the scattered laundry, talking softly, "How did we get here?"
She refolded the articles.
"When I first saw you walking across the campus, my heart fluttered."
Holding Boxer, "You swept me off my feet with your charm. Where did that charm go?"
She put Lar and Rar back together, "Five years of this is too much."
Pretty opened the drawer, "I've given all that I can."
She put Boxer and the twins in the drawer, "I don't care what the Fatman finds, I'm done."
A tear ran down her cheek, the drawer closed, footsteps left the room.

Pulling Wrinkles (Socks CXXXVIII)

Boxer taught Rar to pull the wrinkles out of himself. Rar became quite adept, but couldn't hold it as long as Boxer could.
"That's tough, I don't know how you hold it that long."
"You'll get better with practice."
All of a sudden Rar remembered that he didn't know where his brother was. Looking around he saw Lar hanging over the edge of the bed, "Hey, Lar. You OK?"
"Yea."
"Did you hear Boxer's story?"
"If you hadn't been laughing so hard, you would have heard me laughing."
Footsteps were in the next room, then Pretty walked in, "Oh crap."

Rebellion Part 3 (Socks CXXXVII)

"I left Grunter alone the rest of the day," Boxer continued, "but one other day I picked at him all day."
Rar's laughing slowed.
"That day, when he was by himself, I stayed straight. Then as soon as I heard him talking, I climb up his crack. The higher pitch the other voice had, the deeper I'd scoot."
Rar smiled.
"Every time before Grunter could drop his pants, I'd hurry and get myself straight. It was tough, but I even pulled the wrinkles out. Then I'd hold myself flat until he wasn't looking. We did that at least ten times."

Rebellion Part 2 (Socks CXXXVI)

"Before long, I was peeking over his belt on one side, and a third of the way down his cheek on the other. I could tell Grunter was trying not to squirm, so I put some pressure just above one testicle. That made his voice crack a little."
Rar was laughing, trying to get Boxer to stop talking, but Boxer wouldn't quit.
"By the time I finished with him, he was getting sweaty. He gave an excuse about having to make a call, and went directly to the restroom, and dropped his pants to his knees to get straightened around."

Boxer Rebellion (Socks CXXXV)

As, Rar listened, Boxer told his tale.
"One morning not long ago he stared in with the blow and sniff routine right away. He did it all the way to work. I got mad. I waited for him to get in a group of people to get my revenge."
"I could hear some woman talking about radio and TV cost per minute comparisons, and increased sales. When Grunter started talking I went to work."
"I shoved myself into his crack. He wiggled, and I traveled deeper. Then I moved around to one side so that his package was hanging free."

Unwanted Moisture (Socks CXXXIV)

"Is that as nasty as it sounds?"
"Sure is."
"I can't think of anything I like about this guy."
"That's not all, sometimes he doesn't shake off good enough, and I get a big, smelly wet spot next to my fly."
"He dripped on Lar and I once."
"I remember, I was there. I had a huge wet spot that night."
"That was you?"
"That moron stood in front of the hand dryer, blowing hot air on me till I was almost dry."
"I say it again, I don't like Grunter."
"When I get tired of him, I get even."

Boxer's View (Socks CXXXIII)

Grunter took out his phone and pushed buttons, "I'll be a little late getting back from lunch. If anyone from Essex calls, tell them I'll call right back, and get a hold of me on my cell."
Before Grunter left the room he gave the clothes one last kick. Rar flew, landing on the boxers, next to the wall.
"Man, that guy's a jerk."
"Right you are, and he has a bunion on the left foot."
"He blows gas every time he gets in the car."
"Every time?"
"Often enough. Then he will sniff, and say 'That's a ripe one."

Liquid Lunch (Socks CXXXII)

Grunter opened the wallet and counted, "Twenty, thirty, five, and one, two," then jiggled the coins in his pocket.
"Lar, do you think Nick is in there?"
"I hope not brother, I hope not."
Grunter left and a few minutes later came back carrying a glass containing ice in a golden liquid. He would sip, then shake the glass, making the cubes tinkle against the edge of the glass, then sip again.
He took a tee-shirt from the basket, tossing it, then turned the whole basket upside down, kicking the clothes, "Next time take care of the laundry on time."

Wallet Search (Socks CXXXI)

Grunter continued to talk into the phone, "Don't ever put me on the spot like that again."
*
"I don't care what I implied, don't..."
*
"Just don't, or you'll find out."
*
"Hello. Hello. B!#@#."
Grunter punched buttons, waited, "Who do you think you are, hanging up on me? We'll talk about this later. And next time I call, you answer. Got it?"
Grunter paused, "I'll be home late tonight," then smashed the red button.
Walking around the room, Grunter looked atop the dresser, then searched the shelf above the headboard, finally the nightstand.
"There it is," he picked up his wallet.

Boxer Ball (Socks CXXX)

Grunter stared at the basket, "What's this?"
Picking up Boxer so that he unfurled, Grunter muttered, "Couldn't you take care of the laundry before you left?"
"Hey I was all folded."
Grunter didn't hear.
"Fold me back up."
Squishing Boxer into a ball, Grunter tossed him into the basket, and pulled out his cell phone.
"I came home for lunch, where are you?"
*
"Why didn't you finish the laundry first?"
*
"Oh, Mom wanted to leave."
*
"Are you really with your mother?"
*
"Wait. No, don't put her on."
*
*
"Hello."
*
"Are you enjoying your lunch?"
*
"Sure put her back on."
*
*
"Real funny."

Enter Boxer (Socks CXXIX)

"Lar, did you understand all of that?"
"I think so."
"Please explain it to me."
A pair of boxers spoke up, "Yea, explain why she's mad at me too."
"She's not mad at you."
As best he could, Lar explained why Pretty was angry with Grunter, why she called the Fatman, the whole mess.
The brothers agreed on several things. They both liked Pretty, Mom, and Dad, but not Grunter, or Ms Stubbly.
"Who's Ms Stubbly?" Boxer had never seen her, so that was clarified.
From the other room, "Hello?" Grunter walked in the bedroom, "Where the hell is she?"

Resolve (Socks CXXVIII)

As the TV softly departed it's accounts of events and weather Mom said, "Let's go have some lunch, and I'll get the money out of the bank."
"I'm nervous."
"We don't have to get the money."
"No, I have to find out."
Pretty carried the basket into the bedroom, and set it on the bed. She put some items into the closet. Then she picked up a pair of underwear and looked at them, "Once I catch you, you cheating a$$#@!E, you'll be washing your own boxers."
She tossed the boxers back in the basket, and left, "Mom. I'm ready."

The Agreement (Socks CXXVII)

"Mom, can I borrow some money?"
"How much?"
"Five hundred."
"You have that much, easily."
"Yes, but the Fatman wants cash, and if I take it out of the bank...."
"I understand."
"That much gets us started. He said the average cost is about fifteen hundred."
"We can help you."
"He will give me a tracker to put in the car. My name is on the title, so it's legal."
Mom said nothing.
"I can have pictures, or catch them in the act."
Mom let pretty ramble on.
"I don't even know the fatman's name, he calls himself Mick Jagger."

Tuesday Decision (Socks CXXVI)

"I've been thinking about hiring a private eye. That voice change sealed it. I think Frank's covering for him" Pretty flipped through the phone book. She mumbled to herself.
"Mufflers, plumbers, printers, restaurants, crap, private investigators. See investigators and investigation services."
She flipped the other direction, "Loans, furniture, insurance, investment securities, ahh, investigators. Wow, there really is a Fatman agency, who knew."
Pretty punched buttons, "Yes, I wonder... I would like to... I believe my husband may be having an affair... I want him followed."
*
"OK. I understand"
*
"I work tomorrow afternoon, I'll call in the morning." The call ended.

Tuesday Dead End (Socks CXXV)

Pretty's thumb hit the red button, the phone found it's way to the coffee table, and another tear headed for the ground.
"Crap."
Mom came in, "What?"
"When I mentioned racquetball, Mr. Petersen's voice changed. He said that it was his pleasure to beat the new guy. He said that he always likes to spend social time with people that are being groomed, get to know them outside work."
"Maybe..."
"Then he said that the two of them would be probably spend quite a bit of time together in the near future."
Pretty paused, then, "But Mom, his voice changed."

Tuesday Fishing (Socks CXXIV)

"If you call his boss and he's not lying....."
"I know, I'll look like a nut case. I have a plan."
Mom went back to the kitchen.
Pretty called. She explained to the person on the other end who she was and that she would like to speak to Mr. Petersen.
"...called to thank you for trusting my husband with the Essex campaign."
*
"Yes he is, very excited."
The conversation carried for a few more minutes.
"I won't take up any more of your time, but thanks again."
*
"Oh, and thanks for taking him to play racquetball, he loves playing."

Tuesday Information (Socks CXXIII)

Sounds came from the kitchen. Cupboards and drawers, opened and closed, metal tinkled against metal, water ran, and Mom hummed.
Pretty sat on the couch talking into the phone, "Thank you."
Pretty punched the red button, set the cordless on the coffee table, and stared across the room. A single tear made it's way toward her chin.
Mom came in with coffee, "Are you OK?"
"I still don't know anything. The courts close at nine, but they don't lock the doors until ten."
"Maybe he's telling the truth."
"I doubt it."
Pretty sipped her coffee, "I should call his boss."

Tuesday Call (Socks CXXII)

"What are you going to do?"
"I'm going to call Court Connection to get their hours."
"Should I leave, so you can have your privacy?"
"No. I've been putting it off, waiting for you to get here."
"OK?"
"I don't want to be alone, in case I get bad news."
"When are you going to call?"
"Right now."
"I'll go to the kitchen, make some coffee while you call."
"Thanks, Mom."
"I'll be right in here if you need me."
Pretty got the phone book, flipped pages, and punched buttons.
"Hello. Can you tell me what hours you are open?"

Tuesday Suspicion (Socks CXXI)

Grunter left. Pretty put the boys in the washer with other clothes. After drying they were in the basket, being carried to the living room when the doorbell rang.
"Mom?"
"It's me."
"Come in."
The boys were near the bottom, under most of the clothes, they could hardly hear. The basket was on the couch, between Mom and Pretty. They shared the job of folding, and as the clothes were removed above them, they heard more of the conversation.
"...home late again last night."
"How late?"
"After eleven."
"What was his excuse?"
"Playing racquetball with Frank. I'm sure he's lying."

Monday's Answer (Socks CXX)

Grunter gave no response.
Pretty left the room, but in a short while, "I've made eggs and toast."
"Be right there."
"Where did you play?"
"How long will you yammer?"
"How long will you avoid the question?"
No response.
"Your breakfast is getting cold."
"Not as cold as your.."
"I'd be warmer if you'd be more honest."
"Give me a break."
"I'm fresh out of breaks. Where did you play?"
Grunter said nothing, but left the room.
Pretty got Grunter's suit jacket and left. From the other room came, "Here's your coat. Where did you play?"
"Court Connection. OK?"
"Thank-you."

Monday Or Tuesday? (Socks CXIX)

Pretty took a pillow from the bed, and a blanket from the closet, then carried them out of the bedroom.
The alarm went off, three times. Grunter got up, stumbled over the pile of clothes at the foot of the bed, kicked them toward the basket, and walked into the bathroom. The shower turned on.
Pretty came in, put the clothes in the basket, put her blanket in the closet, and made the bed.
The water shut off and Grunter walked in.
"Where did you play?"
Grunter said nothing.
A moment later, "The coffee is on. Where did you play?"

Monday Ends (Socks CXVIII)

"You're late, and you put the blame back on me?"
"I didn't know I had a curfew."
"Just be honest with me."
"I walk in and you start with the finger pointing."
"What am I supposed to think?"
"What ever you concoct in your little mind," Grunter said tapping Pretty's forehead.
She slapped his hand away, "Answer one more question."
"No more questions."
"Where did you play?"
"I'm going to bed."
"Where did you play?"
Grunter ignored his wife, undressed, got in bed, and was soon snoring.
From the top of the pile Rar yelled, "HE"S LYING!!!"
She didn't hear.

Monday's Q&A (Socks CXVII)

"What clothes did you play in?"
"I have some at the office."
"Where are they now?"
"I forgot and left them in Franks car."
"Why does your breath smell like beer?"
"We stopped for a drink."
"A drink?"
"A few."
"You never told me where you played."
"I don't need this."
"Where did you play?"
"I'm not answering any more questions."
"Who is she?"
"Your so insecure, you always think there's another woman."
"Admit it, it looks fishy."
"To a nut case."
"I'm not a nut..."
"Maybe it's you that's stepping out. You know what they say about the accuser."