Dyson (Socks CCXXV)

Rar could hear rhythmic breathing through the night.
The phone rang before the room got light, "Sure, I can work today."
With that Pretty sprang out of bed, knocked around the house for a while, and left as light started coming in the window.
Rar could see under the dresser. He read the word, "Dyson."
"Hello."
"Hello, where are you?"
"Behind the dresser. Look under it."
"Oh, there you are. I've seen you before."
"I've seen you too. Grunter used to lift me up in the air while you made noise."
"Singing."
"What?"
"I sing to keep my throat clear."

Cleaning Day (Socks CCXXIV)

The next morning, "Sorry Mom, I didn't feel like talking to anyone last night."
*
"I can't, I refinance the house today at eleven."
*
"Thanks, but I still want to be alone."
*
"No, I won't sulk all day. I'm going to clean the house, it really needs it."
Pretty was gone for a while, but when she got home, the vacuum came out.
Rar could hear large things being pushed around in the next room, then the vacuum would run.
Very soon after dark, Pretty scooted the vacuum next to the dresser, showered, climbed into bed and turned off the light.

Today's The Day (Socks CCXXIII)

One day Pretty stayed in bed all morning. The phone rang several times. She let the machine get it, and listened, before she'd pick up and talk. Rar heard Grunter's voice four times before Pretty talked to him.
"Yes, I got your messages."
*
"I'm doing good."
*
"I know it's final today."
*
"I know, we have until three to change our minds."
*
"No. I'm not changing my mind."
*
"No, do not come over here."
*
"Look, I'm going to refinance the house."
*
"I have an appointment at the bank tomorrow. "
*
"You'll get your money, as soon as I sign the papers."

Staying Behind (Socks CCXXII)

"I'm not taking this argyle without the other."
"Don't."
"In fact you can keep all this $#!t."
"I don't care, but it's time for you to go."
"And if I don't?"
"I'll call 911."
"You would. I'm leaving."
All was quiet again. Pretty put Boxer and the other stuff into the closet.
Lar was by himself in the drawer.
Rar was lonely behind the dresser.
Pretty used the phone a lot while lying on the bed. She spent a lot of time there.
"Yea, I'm doing ok, mom."
Or, "Sure, I can work tonight."
And, "No, you can't come home."

Full Circle (Socks CCXXI)

After a few days Pretty pulled all of the clothes from the basket, but all of the clothes that Grunter had worn got tossed back in. This happened again in a few more days, but the third time all articles went into the wash, except Rar. He was still behind the dresser.
Rar saw large feet enter the room.
Lar was back in the drawer when Grunter opened it. He took everything out except Lar.
"Where's my other grey argyle?"
"It wasn't in the wash."
"Bu!!$#!t, you lying b!t(#."
"I didn't have to let you come here."
"OK, your highness."

Emergency Housing (Socks CCXX)

"Just a couple of days."
*
"I've got to teach the old lady a lesson."
*
"Because she's forever on my case. I've had it up to..."
*
"She'll crawl back in a week."
Rar heard Grunter grunting under a strain, then he left. There was a bump as Grunter reached the door, "$#!#."
There was another bump out in the kitchen just before the back door shut.
All was quiet until Pretty got home.
Rar heard Pretty on the phone, "He's gone. He took most of his stuff."
"Both suitcases are gone, and there's a big gouge in the bedroom door trim."

Midday (Socks CCXIX)

"Can you give me a ride to the impound yard?"
"I would have to charge you, besides it's only a dozen blocks."
Grunter started walking, "Shyster."
The sun was straight overhead when Grunter got home. He stood in the bedroom doorway, undressing, and throwing his clothes in the basket from across the room. Every article of clothing landed in the basket, except Rar.
Rar landed behind the dresser. He could hear the water of the shower running. He could hear Grunter opening drawers and the closet. He could hear Grunter on the phone.
"Can I crash at your place, man?"

Late Fee (Socks CCXVIII)

Grunter returned to the table, his hair wet.
"Is this your first offense?"
"Yes."
"Good, I'll try to get you released without bail. Your wife has indicated that she would not pay your bail."
"Oh, no."
"What?"
"I need to call in to work. What time will we be done here?"
"Ten, ten-thirty."
"Oh, well. I'll say I'm sick."
When the whole thing was over, Grunter and his attorney walked out of the building.
"I'll need a thousand dollar retainer by end of business tomorrow, plus the two hundred dollars for last night's after hours call. It's a standard charge."

Fourth Man (Socks CCXVII)

"You alright? Would you like some water?"
Grunter looked up at the attorney, "How about some aspirin."
"Not in here. I'll get you some water."
The man left the table for a short time. Grunter downed the water.
"Let's get down to business. You're fourth on the docket."
"What time do I see the judge?"
"You won't, but he'll see you. It's all done by closed circuit TV."
"Ok, when?"
"Soon. I want you to ask to go to the bathroom. Wash your face. Wet your hair, straighten it up as much as you can."
"I don't have a comb."

Last Man (Socks CCXVI)

Just as Grunter laid down on the slab the guard came back. Without calling any names, "I guess your the last belle at the ball. Your lawyer's here."
Grunter was led to a room. The people from the night before were there, each one talking with a person with a briefcase.
"Your wife's attorney called me last night. I can represent you in this matter."
"How did? Who called you?"
"Your wife called her attorney. Apparently you left a message that you had been arrested."
Grunter put his elbows on the table, his face in has hands, rubbing his eyes.

Calling Names (Socks CCXV)

After a while the guard came to the door holding a clipboard, he called several names, "Your lawyers are here."
Grunter, Hairy, and one other the were the last ones left in the room. The third man, with white, messed up hair, and teeth missing, walked to the toilet, and unzipped his pants.
Grunter got up and went to the vacant slab.
"Don't lay down, that's my spot."
"Is your name on it?"
Hairy sat up on his slab, "Respect your elders, numb nu..."
The guard called two names.
Hairy put his shirt on, "You can have the bed now."

A Little Gift (Socks CCXIV)

"Didn't you get to make a call when you got here?"
"Yes, I called my wife's cell, and left a message."
From back in the room, "You don't call a wife, if she's mad, she'll leave you here. You're supposed to call a lawyer."
The hairy man was standing again, "I'm going back to sleep. Why don't you go sit down and shut up?"
As the guard walked away, "Yea, go sit down. We'll call you when the judge gets here."
As Grunter passed the toilet, "Whew!" He then flushed.
Hairy laughed, "I left that, just for you. Like it?"

Morning Surprise (Socks CCXIII)

Grunter found the only place in the room left to sit on the floor with his back to the wall. It was right next to the toilet. He was soon asleep.
Just as daylight began to break through the one small window, high up on the wall, Grunter woke. The man with the hairy back was noisily sitting on the toilet, a terrible smell filled the area.
Grunter went over by the door, "Hey. Guard."
"What do you want?"
"How long am I gonna be in here?"
"The judge will be in about nine."
"Can I make a phone call?"

Cellmate (Socks CCXII)

A half dozen other men were in the room. The room didn't smell very good.
After a few minutes Grunter started to walk across the room.
"Where you going?"
"I was going to sit down."
"No you're not," a man with a hairy back was lying one of two raised slabs, that looked as if they were made of the same material as the floor, his shirt was under his head. "Go back, and block the light so I can sleep."
"But, I..."
"Do it, a$$#*!(."
Grunter went back to the door, staying there until after the man started snoring.

Protocol (Socks CCXI)

Grunter finally took his hands from behind his back, and another blue man gave him orders, "Start with your thumb."
"Turn to the right."
"Turn to the left."
"Look straight ahead," then lights would flash.
He was taken to a small room. A blue man put grunter's "valuables" in a brown bag. Next he gave his belt to the man.
"Why the hell do you need my shoelaces?"
"It's protocol, sir."
The shoelaces were turned over, "Sign here, sir."
Now he was guided to another room, the door closed with a clank.
Grunter stood with his back to the door.

Denied Request (Socks CCX)

By now another large vehicle had backed up in front of Grunter's car, yellow flashing lights blended with the red and blue flashing lights.
Grunter stood, leaning against one of the black and white cars, his hands behind his back.
Grunter's car was pulled up onto the large vehicle, and left without Grunter.
One of the blue men opened the back door, "Watch your head, sir."
Soon they were in a well lit room with several blue men moving around. One of them had Grunter sit down, to get all of his "information."
Grunter asked to use the bathroom.
"Later."

Blue Man Group (Socks CCIX)

Soon, another blue man came, then another.
Rar began to remember something, "Lar, I think these are the guys we saw on TV at Mom's."
"What guys?"
"Can't you tell? Three men? Blue?"
"I can't remember."
"Do I have to spell it out?"
"I guess so."
"One more clue. We were on the shelf, with Dick. It was after dark, Mom and Dad were watching Leno, with the big jaw."
"I don't remember."
"Three blue guys playing music."
"Tell me."
"OK, I will, but you're just not trying."
"Just tell me."
"Stop yelling. It's the Blue Man Group."
"You're nuts."

Blue Man (Socks CCVIII)

"You went through a stop sign without stopping."
"What stop sign?"
"Wait right here, sir. I'll be right back."
After a short time, "Have you been drinking tonight, sir?"
"No."
"Would you please step out of the car, sir?"
Grunter got out. The blue man asked many questions, and had Grunter do many physical actions, "Put your arms out to the side, close your eyes, lean your head back, and touch your nose with the tip of your finger."
Grunter would have fell backwards, had the blue man not caught him.
"Will you agree to take a breath-a-lizer test, sir?"

Blue Lights (Socks CCVII)

Frank left, Grunter stayed and had a few more beers.
Out in the lot, Grunter dropped his keys twice trying to unlock the car door. He got in the car and dropped them again trying to put them in the ignition.
The car finally moved. Very soon a loud noise that the boys didn't recognize came from outside the car, and red and blue lights were flashing, "Son of a..."
The car stopped, "May I see your license and registration, please sir."
Grunter handed a man in blue a couple of items.
"Do you know why I stopped you, sir?"

Warning (Socks CCVI)

"Don't worry, I'm not firing you. I'm just saying that if Gina, or Essex, or the company ends up in the papers, it could be bad for business. And that could be bad for employment."
"It's not my fault, sir."
"Who's fault do you think it would be? I think it would be better to keep your mouth closed."
Grunter's feet shuffled under the table.
"That's better. I suggest you get those pictures destroyed."
"I will, Frank. I'll do whatever it takes."
"I also suggest that you help your team more."
"I will, Frank."
"Maybe you should call me sir."

Thin Ice (Socks CCV)

Once in the booth, "Had some trouble today, huh?"
"A little."
"Gina told me about the pictures."
"She told you?"
"I've known Gina for ten years. I lost a good employee over her."
"You won't lose me, sir."
"I'm not worried about that, let me be blunt. You're already on thin ice."
"What do you mean?"
"I know that Tim and Megan did most, if not all, of the work on the presentation. I think Megan could do her job and yours at the same time."
"But you saw me at the office late one night."
"Yes, with wet hair."

Burger at the Bar (Socks CCIV)

Gina pulled her hand away from Grunter's chin so quickly that his head turned to one side, and there was a snapping sound.
Grunter watched her walk across the lot. When she got to her car, she looked up, and flicked her hand in his direction, "Go away."
Grunter went into the bar, ordered a beer, "Can I get a burger here at the bar?"
Grunter was halfway through his burger when someone sat next to him, and ordered a beer.
"Frank, what brings you back here?"
"Gina called me. Let's grab that booth in the corner, take your burger."

Thick Head (Socks CCIII)

"Get those pictures destroyed, or you'll be removed from the Essex account."
"How?"
"Will she file for divorce?"
"Yep."
"Make it part of the settlement."
"How?"
"You will give her anything she asks for."
"I have to be out of the house tomorrow. Can I stay with you?"
"I told you, we're through."
"I'll sleep on the couch."
"And if I have company over, how can I have sex on the couch? You know I like to have sex on the couch."
"I'd be on the couch. Ready to use."
Gina put her hand on Grunter's chin, "WE, ARE, THROUGH."

Stay Here (Socks CCII)

As the large man got in his car, "Why don't you eat here, they have a nice restaurant."
Pretty started her car and pulled out of her space, the large man started his car and followed Pretty, and Grunter walked toward the hotel entrance just as Gina stepped out the door.
"Why are you still here?"
"My wife and some private detective were here. They have pictures of you and me in the room, screwing."
"How could they?"
"Well, not literally, but we were naked, you were topless."
"What are they going to do with the pictures?"
"I didn't ask."

Stay Away (Socks CCI)

Grunter agreed to stay away, "Call my cell when you get done."
"I suggest no contact for forty-eight hours," the large man said.
"Ok, I'll wait one hour. One hour, that's all."
"You can get nasty if you want, but it's over. I'll be nice. You can pick up the papers at my lawyer's, I'll call."
"What's so nice about that?"
"Should I have you served at work?"
"You win, call me, I'll pick up the papers."
"Pick up after yourself tonight, I won't be there to clean up," Pretty turned and walked.
Grunter stood in the lot, kicking pebbles.

I'll Pack (Socks CC)

"Now what?" Grunter asked.
"I'm staying at my Mom's tonight. I'll go to the lawyer tomorrow."
"Won't you give me another chance?"
"No I won't."
Pretty began talking, every once in a while stopping to blow her nose, "I'm going to go home as soon as I leave here, and pack a suitcase."
"But..."
"That doesn't mean that you get the house, be ready to move out tomorrow."
Grunter remained quiet.
"Sir, I'll be following your wife home. I'll be there, waiting outside. I am asking you very nicely, see me smiling, to stay away for at least an hour.

Zoom In (Socks CXCIX)

"The man and woman seem to know each other quite well. Wouldn't you agree, sir?"
Silence.
"These next three, I took in rapid succession. That's definitely you, reaching for the drapes, wearing just your boxers."
From the far side of the car, "Try and get out of..."
She stopped when the large man looked at her, "In this picture Gina sits up in bed. I can't say that she's naked, but she sure is topless."
"Any more?"
"No. That's when you closed the drapes, and I called your wife. I showed her all the pictures while we waited for you."

Voyeur (Socks CXCVIII)

"So what? We had a drink after the meeting. Proves nothing."
Pretty asked, "One?"
The large man held his hand up again.
"I apologize for the quality of the previous pictures, sir. These next ones won't be grainy. I was able to use a larger lens."
"Will you hurry?"
"When you and Gina left the bar, I came outside."
"So?"
"Well, I got outside, and through that window," the man pointed to a window on the first floor, "I shot this."
Grunter said nothing.
"Sorry, in the next one, we'll actually see the faces of the couple on the bed."

Pictures (Socks CXCVII)

"Gina? Is that the woman from Essex?"
"Yea, what of it?"
"Well, when Gina came to the bar and talked to the woman in this picture, the mad one, they didn't seem to know each other."
"Where is all of this going?"
"Here's one of you and Gina getting in her car."
"She wanted to... show me a billboard from their competitors."
"I doubt that" came from the other side of the car.
"Let me show him the rest of the pictures. I've got some from today, sir."
"Ok, go ahead."
"This is you, and Gina, in the bar, here."

Laptop (Socks CXCVI)

"You're nuts, I had a presentation today."
"We know about the presentation. I have some pictures that I think you should see before saying any more."
The large man opened the back door, took something out, and set it on the hood of his car, "I haven't printed these pictures, and I won't, unless I need to. You can view them on my laptop."
"What pictures."
"Here's one of you in a restaurant, with a woman from The Essex Corporation."
"It's business."
"Here's another. Who's the other woman talking to the two of you? She looks mad."
"That's Gina's friend."

Large Man (Socks CXCV)

Rar could see Pretty's ankles, she was standing on the other side of the car.
"What are you doing here? Who is this guy?" Grunter started to move toward Pretty, but the large man stepped in his way.
"We'll explain all of that, sir."
Pretty shut the door on the other side of the car, "The question is, what were you doing?"
The large man held up his hand, "Hold it. I'll explain everything."
"Well, get to it, so I can go home."
"Sir, your wife here, has hired me. She has reason to believe that you have been unfaithful."

Not Leaving (Socks CXCIV)

Grunter opened the door and left. The door he left open did not click shut until he had passed four other doors.
Walking down the hall he passed the front desk, through the double doors, and out into the lot.
Lar spotted Grunter's car, but Grunter didn't go there. Instead he went to the car parked directly behind his, "Could you move your car, please? You're blocking me in."
A large man got out of the car, "I will, in a moment."
"But, I need to leave now."
Then, Pretty's voice came from inside the car, "How was the meeting?"

A Leaving (Socks CXCIII)

"Are you sure you wouldn't like to...You're already naked."
"Don't make me be mean, and tell you that it wasn't that good. Just leave."
"But I'm responsible for the room."
"You didn't even know about the room, until I told you about it. I'll turn the cardkey in when I go."
Putting the card on the dresser, Grunter turned to go.
As his hand touched the knob, from behind him, "Besides I might go hang out at the bar, I might be able to get lucky."
Grunter spun around, his mouth opened, then closed, then opened again, lastly closing again.

An Ending (Socks CXCII)

"This, this, affair, this, fling, has run it's course."
"But, Gina..."
"Don't talk, just listen. It was good while it lasted"
"Do you mean???"
"We're through, that's what I mean."
"Am I still on the ad campaign?"
"Stop your whining. That's only one of the reasons I'm ending this. I can't stand a wimp."
"What about my job?"
"That's up to Frank, I won't object if you stay on."
"I can keep it on a professional level."
"I'll say this, you better."
"I will. Tell me something, Gina. Was that our last roll in the sack?"
"Unless I decide otherwise."

Dressing (Socks CXCI)

Grunter went into the other room. The door was open, and water could be heard running. He came out, one towel around his waist, drying his hair with another.
Gina lay on the bed looking in Grunter's direction, maybe a little off to the side of him, smoking a cigarette.
"You don't smoke."
"I smoke once in a while."
When Grunter finished dressing, Gina was still on the bed, naked, "Are you going to get dressed?"
By now Gina had the remote, channel surfing.
Grunter started unbuttoning his shirt, "If your not getting dressed..."
"Forget it. We need to talk."

"Oops" (Socks CXC)

Gina and Grunter stayed at the bar while other people came and went.
Finally Gina said, "Let's go. Still got the key?"
As soon as they got in the room they fell on the bed, pulling at each other's clothing.
There was a blouse and a shirt on the floor. When Grunter stood and removed his pants, Gina said, "Oh Sh!#. Close the drapes."
Grunter walked over and pulled the drapes, Boxer and Rar his only covering.
Boxer got tossed to the floor, but Rar stayed on the foot with the bunion during the whole sweaty, groaning, stubbly ankled performance.

"Oh" (Socks CLXXXIX)

Grunter put the cardkey in his pocket, and turned to grab another box.
Rar saw what Grunter could not. Tim and Megan looked at each other, Tim shrugged. Megan held her hand close to her chest and pointed at Gina, then used that same finger to spear the circled finger and thumb of her other hand. Tim's mouth formed an "O."
By the time the room was empty, Gina was not in sight.
Grunter stood in the meeting room with Tim, "You and Megan, park the van at the office, unload tomorrow."
Grunter sat next to Gina at the bar.

The Key (Socks CLXXXVIII)

Everyone carried something out to the parking lot.
Frank and Sid went to their respective cars, Tim and Megan were already back inside, and Gina and Grunter were going back in. Gina, in a loud whisper, "Get the cardkey from Megan."
"What cardkey?"
"To the room that the company gets when they rent the meeting room."
"I don't know..."
"You get a complimentary room, to freshen up, that sort of thing."
"Oh."
"Just how involved were you in this campaign?"
"Well, I..."
"Forget it. Just get the key."
Grunter got the key, telling Megan he wanted to wash his face.

Relaxing (Socks CLXXXVII)

Tim and Megan started packing while Sid, Gina, Frank, and Grunter sat at the tale talking, once in a while asking Tim, or Megan a question.
Frank stood, "I could use a drink, anyone else?"
The other three agreed, Frank asked Tim and Megan.
"Go ahead Tim, I'll drive back."
"Ok. I'll take a draft, a tall one."
All six sat at the table, leaning back, finishing their drinks, and talking.
Tim was the first to stand, "I think I'll get this stuff back to the van."
Sid stood, "I'll take a load out on the way to the car."

Due Credit (Socks CLXXXVI)

The plates were removed, Grunter stood, took a silver cylinder from the cart, and started talking. He stopped talking, looked at the cylinder, touched it with his finger, "Click."
Grunter's voice was louder, "I'd like to welcome Sid and Gina from Essex..."
He went on to say how much work had went into this campaign, "Megan and Tim were instrumental from conception to reality."
He talked a few more minutes then handed the cylinder to Megan. Tim pulled his chair next to the cart.
Megan finished speaking. The crowd, by ones and twos, shook hands with Tim, Megan, and Grunter.

All Ready (Socks CLXXXV)

Soon Tim said, "That's all. I'm going to change my shirt."
Grunter sat at one of the tables, tapping his foot.
A man and a woman, both wearing black pants and white shirts came in, and filled the water glasses on the half dozen tables.
Tim and Megan were back, and couldn't seem to stand still.
People began to enter, and sit down. Sid and Gina came in together and sat near the front with Frank, Grunter, Megan, and Tim. When most of the seats at the other tables were full, people wearing black pants sat plates on the table.

A Bracer (Socks CLXXXIV)

Grunter left the large room. As he left, Tim and Megan were unpacking boxes, talking, and setting up at one end of the room.
Shortly after Grunter sat on a high stool Rar noted that alcohol was coming from Grunter's pores.
"He's having beer."
Boxer was concerned, "I hope he doesn't dribble on me again."
His worries were unfounded, after one, Grunter went back to the large room.
"Need some help?"
"Yes, would you and Tim set the Proxima while I go put on a skirt for the presentation?"
Grunter grabbed a cart, "Tim, where should I put this thing?"

A Little Help (Socks CLXXXIII)

Grunter pushed the button, the door opened , he stood still. The door closed. Grunter turned and took the stairs up one flight, walking through the lobby, and out to his car.
Once in the car he took out his cell, "I'm going over to the Clarion. Would you go in and shut my computer down?"
*
"No, I'll be gone the rest of the day."
When the car stopped Grunter got out next to the van from the parking garage.
"Need some help?"
"Sure, grab anything from the van."
When the van was empty Grunter said, "I'll be right back."

Loading Zone (Socks CLXXXII)

"There's two more loads. Wanna help?"
The door closed, then opened. They picked up two boxes around the corner, and went back in. The door opened into a large, echoey room, full of cars. They went to where Megan was loading a van.
"I didn't expect you to be here. You going to help set up?"
"I don't think so. You two go ahead, I'll be down later."
Tim and Megan finished loading the van, talking to each other. Neither one talked to Grunter, and he didn't talk to them.
The van started and left, Grunter walked to the elevator.

Elevator Ride (Socks CLXXXI)

After Grunter hung up he went down the hall.
Stopping at a desk he asked, "Where is Megan and Tim?"
"They took some carts down to the garage a few minutes ago."
Grunter walked to a shiny door, and pushed a button. The door slid open. Grunter got on and pushed a button. The door closed.
Rar heard a "PPHHTT" sound, "What was that?"
"Take a guess," said Boxer, "If he sniffs..."
Grunter didn't sniff, so Boxer left him alone.
The door opened, Tim got on. "What the...Did you do that?"
"No it smelled like this when I got on."

Gotta Go (Socks CLXXX)

Megan stood, "If that's all, I'd like to get the presentation packed up. It's nine already, and lunch is at noon."
"She's right. That's just enough time to get to the Clarion and get set up. Remember what we said, don't take the credit for yourself."
Tim and Megan left, closing the door.
Grunter made a call, "Not much. I've got a presentation at noon, just waiting to go over."
*
"I can't, Gina wants to get together after."
*
"How's the old lady gonna catch me. It's a business meeting."
*
"Look, I just called to see if you caught Sports Center."

Strange Assumption (Socks CLXXIX)

Tim stood up, "Lets not start fighting just before today's meeting."
"That's right, Megan you should..."
"Hold it. I agree with everything Megan said, I just don't want the tension to show this afternoon."
No one spoke.
Tim sat back down, "Megan has worked her tail off on this project, so you better give her lots of credit today."
"Not just me, Tim was there every step of the way."
"Ok, I get it. You two get all the credit. What is this, a little hanky panky on the side?"
Tim and Megan both laughed, "Megan and I are cousins."

Stating Opinion (Socks CLXXVIII)

"What about Megan's reputation? What about mine?"
"But I'm responsible..."
"You probably should have been there for some of our late nights."
"When did you stay late."
"Two days last week, two the week before. One night Tim came over to my house, my husband entertained the kids while we worked."
"You should have told me."
"You have no idea how much work goes into a campaign like this."
"I've been here for five years."
"Yea, it amazes me that how you slid by for five years too."
"This is insubordination."
"I'm not refusing to work, just stating my opinion."

Pre-Meeting (Socks CLXXVII)

"Tim, you and Megan, come to my office. Ten minutes."
Grunter left his office, got a coffee, and came right back.
Tim walked in first, a few minutes later Megan came in.
"Frank wants to know if we're ready for this afternoon."
Silence.
"Well?"
"Almost."
"What does almost mean?"
"The presentation is done, but you haven't practiced it yet."
"I expected that you and Tim would present."
"Then I guess, we're ready."
"I want to watch your practice this morning."
"We stayed till midnight last night practicing. I don't think we'll practice today."
"But, my reputation is on the line."

The Fun Begins (Socks CLXXVI)

On the road this day, this Tuesday, Grunter's left foot tapped almost constantly. When the car wasn't moving, his right heal would tap. He couldn't seem to settle on a radio station. He blew the horn more than usual. He berated other drivers. He muttered after parking, and shut the engine off, stopping only when he opened the door and got out.
Pausing at the front desk, Grunter found no messages.
Frank came into Grunter's office even before he could sit down, asking if the presentation was ready. Grunter assured him it was. Frank left.
Grunter grabbed the phone immediately.

Thursday to Tuesday (Socks CLXXV)

"That is at least an hour that's unaccounted for."
*
"There's nothing I can do yet."
*
"I looked at his calendar, his next meeting with Essex is next Tuesday.
*
I told the Fatman, he's ready to follow Cheater from the office."
Pretty ended her call, and tossed the clothes in the wash. After their swim, tumble, and fold she put Rar and Lar in the drawer, along with boxer.
After a few days the boys and Boxer got taken from the drawer at the same time. Boxer and the twins had very seldom worked together.
"I hope we do something fun."

Three Rings (Socks CLXXIV)

"Wait, that's not all. The older man from Leo's was parked behind Cheater. They talked outside the car before they left the office."
*
"I think it was probably Frank, from the description."
*
"Who knows what they talked about.
*
"I don't know how long Cheater was at the office, but I do know that I called three times before he answered."
*
"Well, earlier he called me, and said that he was on the way to the office. I waited forty-five minutes, called his number, no answer. A half-hour after later I tried again. He answered the third call, a half-hour later."

Tracker (Socks CLXXIII)

"Yes, that was when Fatman lost them."
*
"Well, he went back to Leo's, and Cheater's car was gone. He couldn't get a read on the tracker."
*
"I told you, Fatman gave me a tracking device to put in the trunk of the car."
*
"Anyway, he decided to go in, and try to talk to the girl. He couldn't reveal too much, so she thought Fatman was hitting on her. She blew him off."
*
"I don't think he's wasting my money."
*
"When Fatman was going home, he got a read on the tracker. The car was in the office parking lot."

Quick Turn (Socks CLXXII)

"An older man stopped and talked to Cheater's friend, then followed Cheater into the bathroom."
*
"Well, maybe he was as old as you and Dad, but Fatman didn't say anything about him having a walker."
*
Pretty giggled, "You deserved it for interrupting me."
*
Anyway, when Cheater came out of the bathroom, they left, but the woman stopped and talked with the girl, and gave her what looked like a business card."
*
"He didn't see the card."
*
"They left in her car, and as Fatman followed, they turned around in a parking lot so fast he didn't dare stay with them."

Another View (Socks CLXXI)

"While they were eating..."
*
"Yes, while Cheater and his girlfriend were eating, another girl in her twenties came over to their table..."
*
"Yes, Fatman was sitting at the bar, watching. Anyway, the girl looked like she was mad at Cheater."
*
"No, he couldn't hear what was said."
*
"If you don't stop interrupting Ill never get through this ."
*
"Anyway, the girl went back to her seat, but Fatman didn't want Cheater to see him talking to her."
*
"He did overhear her talking to her girlfriend. The girl thinks that Cheater's name is Frank Petersen."
*
"Yes, Mom, that's his boss's name."

An Alleged Cheater (Socks CLXX)

"No Mom, Fatman didn't catch him red-handed."
*
"Let me tell you everything. The Cheater was in a booth with a..."
*
"No, I won't use his name."
*
"It is not silly. Remember when you got mad at Aunt Lil, you didn't use her name for most of my senior year."
*
"Anyway, Cheater was with a woman in her forties."
*
"Yea, fifteen to twenty years older."
*
"He might be, they left together."
*
"He tried to follow them. They lost him, but he got her plate number."
*
"It's a leased car registered to The Essex Corporation."
*
"Stop asking questions, I'm getting side tracked."

Tee Talks (Socks CLXIX)

"Who," said Tee.
"Who? What?"
"Pavarotti is a who."
Tee finished explaining Pavarotti.
Rar was skeptical, "How do you know Pavarotti?"
"Don't you listen to the music that Pretty plays when she's knocking the dust from everything?"
"Not really, I'm in here when the music is on. Hard to hear from inside the drawer."
After a time Pretty came home. Again she picked up the basket. But she sat it down again before leaving the bedroom. She picked up the phone, "Mom, got a minute to talk?"
"Fatman followed him last night. He was at Leo's Grill. With a woman."

The Tenor (Socks CLXVIII)

Pretty slid the basket back in it's place, and left the house.
Rar had hoped to get to take a swim.
"I thought we were getting in the washer."
"Me too, Brother."
In the corner of the bedroom, in the basket the Twins, a tee shirt, Boxer, and two brassieres talked about their jobs.
The bra with the higher more delicate voice, the pink one, just did her job to the best of her ability without passion.
But Blackie, according to Tee, would sing like Pavarotti all day long when he was on duty.
Rar was confused, "What's a Pavarotti?"

Appointment (Socks CLXVII)

Grunter moved around the house doing his daily routine. He kissed Pretty on the forehead and left.
Pretty sat on the edge of the bed while the sound of The Early Show came from the TV in the living room. She took the cordless phone next to the bed from the hook, leaving a message for "Mick Jagger" to call her back.
The phone rang as she was carrying the clothes basket out of the bedroom door.
"Did you follow him last night?"
*
"Sorry, I forgot that you won't talk on the phone."
*
"Sure, I'll be there in thirty minutes."

Snoring (Socks CLXVI)

Frank continued to explain that no one else in the office knew that Kathy was his niece.
"It keeps things neater. No accusations of favoritism. Besides one more semester, and she'll graduate."
Grunter drove home, Pretty was in bed when he got there. His clothes ended up in a pile five feet from the basket. Again.
Momentarily, Grunter's breathing got rhythmic. Pretty got up and went to the other room. She didn't come back all night.
The alarm sounded, Grunter walked out, and from the other room, "Why did you sleep out here?"
"You were snoring, and I couldn't sleep."

Nervous (Socks CLXV)

Rar noted to Lar that Grunter had started sweating again.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Petersen. I didn't mean..."
"Let that be a lesson. Know your audience before speaking."
"I will, sir."
"I notice that when you get nervous, you forget to call me Frank."
"I'm sorry, Mr. Pet...Frank."
Frank put his hand on the younger man's shoulder, "Take it easy. I wouldn't care what you do, or with whom, but Kathy is my wife's sister's daughter."
"I see, sir."
"Kathy is, shall we say, no angel. But I will not answer to my wife, or sister-in-law, for what Kathy does here."

A Good Reason (Socks CLXIV)

"Let me suggest that you decline her offer."
Grunter got out of the car, "I will, if you say so."
"I do. And thank you for being so agreeable."
Frank smiled, stuck his hand out, and shook Grunter's, "You will stay away from Kathy, without even asking why?"
"Anything you want, Frank."
"I don't want you to go along just because I'm your boss."
"What, you want her for yourself? It doesn't matter, Frank. There is plenty of p^$$! to be had."
"That's not it, my boy." Frank stared directly in Grunter's eyes, "It seems that Kathy is my niece."

Late Night Meeting (Socks CLXIII)

Before Grunter could start his car, the headlights of the car behind him turned on. The outline of a man walking toward Grunter was visible in the driver's side mirror.
Frank tapped on the window.
"You scared me Frank."
"Sorry, didn't mean to. I was talking on the phone when you came out, so I waited."
"Did you need me to do something?"
"No, but when I saw you I decided to tell you something tonight instead of waiting till tomorrow."
"What's that?"
"I saw Kathy hold your hand back in your office."
"Yea, she invited me for a beer."

Kathy's Method (Socks CLXII)

Kathy stepped out of the door, "I'll have to escort you out, Frank. I'm not sure you can be trusted alone."
"Hurry up, my wife was being friendly," then Frank said something unintelligible.
"You're telling me more than I really need to know, Frank."
Grunter typed, clicked a few more times, then shut the computer down.
Kathy was at the front desk, "Where's John?"
"Bathroom."
Grunter held up his badge, "Good enough?"
"Sorry, again."
"I'm going to hold you to that beer."
"Sure. Most nights I get out at eleven, and when I go out, I stay for last call."

Kathy's Number (Socks CLXI)

Kathy stuck out her hand first, "I really am sorry, I shouldn't have teased you. I've seen you go through the front lobby and just assumed..."
"I thought it strange that you wanted me to wear my badge in my office. I shouldn't have got upset."
Frank headed for the door, "I'm going home. Maybe my wife is still in a cooperative mood."
Kathy held onto Grunter's hand a little longer than expected, "To show no hard feelings, call sometime, I'll buy you a beer."
"Sounds good."
"Write down my work number."
Grunter grabbed his pen.
"You ready?"
"Shoot."
"Zero."

Waiting For Kathy (Socks CLX)

"Kathy feels somewhat responsible for what happened. Says that she shouldn't have teased you without knowing you better."
Frank grabbed the phone and dialed, "John, Frank. Send Kathy up here, everything seems to be quiet."
As Frank hung up, "I got your message. I won't have to cover for you if you're really coming to the office."
"I didn't know I was coming here. I took a shower and couldn't go home with wet hair."
"That's all I need to know."
A knock was at the door. Frank opened the door, and invited Kathy in.
"Ok, Both of you. Apologize."

Just a Joke (Socks CLIX)

The guard left, closing the door. Grunter sat down and started typing and clicking.
After a time there was a knock at the door, "Well, if you came back to hassle me again, come on in."
The door opened, and Grunter stood up, "Mr. Petersen."
"I told you before, it's Frank."
"Ok."
"John called me on my cell, said there was a bit of a problem down here."
"Yes, the guard..."
"I know, but what you don't know is that Kathy, that's the guard, was just yanking your chain about the badge."
"Oh?"
"Kathy is willing to keep this unofficial."

Report (Socks CLVIII)

"Hello."
*
"Where else would I be?"
Grunter cupped his hand over the phone, "It's my wife. Do you mind?"
The woman in blue pointed to the badge clipped on his zipper.
Without success, Grunter tried to remove the badge one handed.
*
"What? I was talking to the security guard."
*
"I'm almost done, but don't wait up."
Grunter finished the call, removed his badge, and zipped up, "Anything else?"
"Yes. I'm going to have to report your actions, sir. In fact, while you were on the phone, I radioed John at the front desk to get a hold of Mr. Petersen."

Rules (Socks CLVII)

Grunter unzipped his pants and clipped the badge on the fly, "How's that? Does that comply with your stupid rules? Would you like to get close and read my name again?"
"Sir. that's uncalled for."
"Maybe I should haul out my @!($, and duct tape it directly to it. Would you like to see that?"
"Sir, I'm only doing my job."
"Is that in your job description to hassle the employees?"
"You're getting upset, sir. If this continues, I'll have to report this as harassment."
"If you have to, just leave."
The phone rang. The guard stood in the doorway.

Rounds (Socks CLVI)

"Just making rounds, sir. John at the front desk didn't say anyone was here."
"I'm almost done."
"May I see your employee badge, sir?"
Grunter went over to the chair, picked up his jacket, and took the badge out of the pocket, "Here you go."
The woman looked at the badge, then checked the name on the door.
"Thank you, sir."
"Is that all?"
"Just one more thing. Did you realize that you are supposed to wear your badge whenever you're in the building?"
"I'm in my office."
"I'm just informing you of the rules, sir."
"Ok, I'll wear it."

Thinking (Socks CLV)

Grunter got dressed and headed for the door, "I'll let myself out."
"Be ready to stay late after next Tuesday's meeting."
Grunter simply grunted, closed the door, sighed, got in his car, and drove to the office. He went to his desk and turned on the computer. He sat in front of the screen doing nothing, not typing, not clicking, just staring at the monitor.
There was a knock at the door, "It's open."
The boys could see a pair of very shinny shoes, and creased dark blue pants legs with a darker stripe on the side of each leg.

Christner Found (Socks CLIV)

Grunter wanted an explanation about Christner.
"What are you talking about?"
"At the restaurant tonight, Frank mentioned Christner, and now you say his name."
"So, Christner worked for Frank."
"I know, he quit."
"Christner is doing fine, he's over at Full Space Graphics."
"How do you know?"
"Essex does business with Full Space."
"And I suppose you do business with Christner?"
"It's time for you to go."
"It's time for you to explain."
"I will explain nothing. You will leave now, because I know that you used Frank's name to get into Shelly's knickers."
"You..."
"And I have Shelly's number."

Rerun (Socks CLIII)

Then it was like a rerun, drive to Gina's, off with the clothes, make the noises, get in the shower.
While Grunter was in the shower Gina walked out of the room and came back in with a glass of water. With her feet she moved Grunter's clothes into a pile, "You might be more trouble than Christner."
The bathroom door opened "What?"
"I was talking to myself."
"Did you say something about Christner?"
"You better get going, I have an early meeting."
"You said the name Chrisner."
"So?"
"Did you know Christner?"
"Yes."
"How well?"
"Go home, I'm tired."

Grunter Fabricates (Socks CLII)

Grunter went to his car. While driving, he punched buttons on his phone.
"I won't be home right away. We have more work to do."
A car honked at a dog in the street.
*
"Yes, I am driving."
*
"Where? Back to the office."
*
"Frank wants me to take care of something."
*
"I'm not going to explain my every move. You're not my mother."
*
"Don't you trust me?"
*
"My God, I'm just going back to the office for an hour."
Hanging up, grunter dialed again, "Frank, I need you to cover for me. If anyone asks I went to the office."

Grunter Waffles (Socks CLI)

Grunter turned, his car was across the lot.
Gina grabbed his sleeve, "Get in my car. Shelly is over by the door. I think she wants your plate number."
They drove, "Put in that Billy Joel CD."
After a few songs had played, Gina drove back into the parking lot, "She's gone. You can follow me to my house."
"I think I should go home."
"You have something to take care of first."
"It's getting late."
"It's not even nine o'clock."
"I should be getting home."
"You'll just have to work fast."
"I can't..."
"Stop talking. My house. Fifteen minutes."

Grunter Worries (Socks CL)

"What did she say?"
"We didn't talk very much. Yet."
"What do you mean, yet?"
"I might want to talk with her later."
"Why?"
"Like I said, she seems like a nice girl."
"Did you give her your card?"
"Ah, back to that. My assistant is pregnant. It wouldn't surprise me if she quits."
"You aren't thinking..."
"What business is that of yours?"
"But..."
"But nothing. Do you know what Shelly does for a living?"
"No, I don't."
"Neither do I, but I like her spunk."
"You can't..."
"Yes I can. That's enough talk, let's go."
"Gina, listen..."
"Let's go."

Grunter Waits (Socks CXLIX)

They sat at the table and talked for a few more minutes. Grunter had started to sweat more, and his foot was constantly bouncing.
"Let's go," Grunter took the lead heading straight for the door, but Gina went over to the end of the bar.
Out in the lot Grunter leaned against Gina's car, waiting, "Did you talk to Shelly? Did you give her your card? Why did you do that?"
"Whoa, one question at a time. I did talk to Shelly."
"What'd you say? What'd she say?"
"Slow down. She seems like nice girl. You should have been nicer."

Grunter Wonders (Socks CXLVIII)

Grunter put his phone away, stood in front of the mirror, and slowly combed his hair, "Christner? What the hell?"
The door opened, a man came in, and Grunter walked out to the table.
"I thought maybe you fell in."
"Why did you send Frank in there."
"I didn't. He saw us when they first came in the door, came over, and asked where you were."
"You ready? Did she bring the check yet."
"Yes, I'm ready, and HE brought the check. We had a waiter."
"Where's the check?"
"Essex paid. Or did you forget, this is a business meeting?"

Grunter Inquires (Socks CXLVII)

"Christner?" But the door was closed.
Grunter stood in the center of the room, and took out his phone. The phone said, "Beep, beep, beep."
"There it is," he pushed the green button.
"Randy, This is..."
*
"No, I didn't call for more advise."
*
"No, I don't need a new slogan."
*
"I called to ask about Christner."
*
"Why did he get fired?"
*
"He quit? Why?"
*
"Why would his wife..."
*
"Oh. With who?"
*
"Essex? What was her name?"
*
"But you're sure it was someone from Essex?"
*
"Ok, ok. Go back to your dinner."
*
"It's been programmed in my phone since..."
"Hello? Hello?"

Grunter Listens (Socks CXLVI)

"Your pretty, young wife called the day after we, supposedly, played Racquetball."
"What...I..."
"Don't worry, I covered for you."
"I don't..."
"The words you're looking for are 'Thank-you."
"Thank-you, Mr. Petersen."
"It's still Frank."
"Thank-you, Frank."
"I surmised what, or rather who you were up to."
"I won't try to lie to you, sir."
"No need to, just let me know before I need to cover for you."
"I'll remember that, Sir."
"Remember something else. Don't let your nightlife interfere with your business life."
"I will."
As Frank was leaving, "I would hate to see you end up like Christner."

Frank Talks (Socks CXLV)

Lar noted that as much as Grunter was squirming under Gina's questioning, his feet were shuffling and tapping more now.
"Maybe Frank won't notice us."
"I don't care if he does."
"But I'm married."
"You chicken, this is a business meeting."
"Good, he didn't see us. I'm going to the bathroom."
"Balk balk."
Grunter was in the restroom, the door opened, "Gina said you were in here."
"Hi Frank."
"So, you and Gina are here working out some of the bugs on the Essex campaign?"
"Yep. Just finishing up."
"Did I mention that your wife called me a while ago?"

Interrogation (Socks CXLIV)

"All that intrigue, just for some tail?"
"Gina..."
"Shelly's right. You're a snake."
"That was in the past."
"How long ago? And don't lie, I'll call Shelly over here."
"Almost a year."
"Was she the first during your marriage?"
"No."
"How many others?"
"Two."
"So, that's four indiscretions. In how many years?"
"Five and a half."
"Well, finish your drink, lets go to my house."
"I knew you'd understand."
"I understand that we, you and I, are going to my house tonight, and you, will, perform. Understand?"
Silence.
"Oh look, the real Frank Petersen, and his wife, just walked in."

Truth Extraction (Socks CXLIII)

They ate in silence.
Then, "I want to hear why you chose the name Frank?"
"I don't think it's important."
"Look, over at the end of the bar. She's still here. Shelly, that is her name? Maybe she'd like to meet the real Frank Petersen. Tell her story to him."
"OK, OK, I knew that Frank had an unlisted number."
"Keep talking. I want the whole story."
"The address I gave her was the house I grew up in, there was a fire ten years ago that destroyed five houses."
"Any more?"
"I told her that I worked at Pioneer."

Truth Hurts (Socks CXLII)

The ankles turned, "What is your real name?"
"Miss, were are having a business meeting here. I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
"Shelly, don't you..."
"Don't use my name unless you give me yours."
"Miss, don't make me call the manager."
"OK, I'll go, but remember, this guy is a snake."
The smooth ankles left.
"Frank Petersen? That was either gutsy, or just plain stupid."
"Did you mean what you said? That we are only colleagues?"
"You look hurt."
"Well did you mean it?"
"What do you care? You're married."
"Well I..."
"Get used to it. Frank."

You're What? (Socks CXLI)

"Miss, I don't know what your problem is, but the object of your anger is my work colleague. No more, no less."
"He took me to the casino for the weekend once. We had fun, gambled, saw a show. Then on Sunday morning while we were still in bed, he told me that he was married."
"Miss, I'm sorry for your misfortune..."
"Then he wouldn't answer his phone. I went to where he said he lived, it was a vacant lot. I called where he said he worked, they never heard of him. Is Frank Petersen even his real name?"

Unwanted Meeting (Socks CXL)

Time went by. The twins went to work with Grunter a few times with nothing remarkable happening. Meetings, dinners, trips to Gina's, and her stubbly ankles became commonplace.
Then after one particular meeting Grunter and Stubbly followed their routine of food and drinks.
A pair of smooth ankles came to the table, "I see no ring on this woman's finger. Where's your wife?"
"What do you want?"
"I want to expose you for the maggot that you are."
"Look, we came here for a quiet..."
The ankles turned a little, "Did he tell you that he's married?"
"Yes, I know."

Pretty Folds (Socks CXXXIX)

Pretty picked up the scattered laundry, talking softly, "How did we get here?"
She refolded the articles.
"When I first saw you walking across the campus, my heart fluttered."
Holding Boxer, "You swept me off my feet with your charm. Where did that charm go?"
She put Lar and Rar back together, "Five years of this is too much."
Pretty opened the drawer, "I've given all that I can."
She put Boxer and the twins in the drawer, "I don't care what the Fatman finds, I'm done."
A tear ran down her cheek, the drawer closed, footsteps left the room.

Pulling Wrinkles (Socks CXXXVIII)

Boxer taught Rar to pull the wrinkles out of himself. Rar became quite adept, but couldn't hold it as long as Boxer could.
"That's tough, I don't know how you hold it that long."
"You'll get better with practice."
All of a sudden Rar remembered that he didn't know where his brother was. Looking around he saw Lar hanging over the edge of the bed, "Hey, Lar. You OK?"
"Yea."
"Did you hear Boxer's story?"
"If you hadn't been laughing so hard, you would have heard me laughing."
Footsteps were in the next room, then Pretty walked in, "Oh crap."

Rebellion Part 3 (Socks CXXXVII)

"I left Grunter alone the rest of the day," Boxer continued, "but one other day I picked at him all day."
Rar's laughing slowed.
"That day, when he was by himself, I stayed straight. Then as soon as I heard him talking, I climb up his crack. The higher pitch the other voice had, the deeper I'd scoot."
Rar smiled.
"Every time before Grunter could drop his pants, I'd hurry and get myself straight. It was tough, but I even pulled the wrinkles out. Then I'd hold myself flat until he wasn't looking. We did that at least ten times."

Rebellion Part 2 (Socks CXXXVI)

"Before long, I was peeking over his belt on one side, and a third of the way down his cheek on the other. I could tell Grunter was trying not to squirm, so I put some pressure just above one testicle. That made his voice crack a little."
Rar was laughing, trying to get Boxer to stop talking, but Boxer wouldn't quit.
"By the time I finished with him, he was getting sweaty. He gave an excuse about having to make a call, and went directly to the restroom, and dropped his pants to his knees to get straightened around."

Boxer Rebellion (Socks CXXXV)

As, Rar listened, Boxer told his tale.
"One morning not long ago he stared in with the blow and sniff routine right away. He did it all the way to work. I got mad. I waited for him to get in a group of people to get my revenge."
"I could hear some woman talking about radio and TV cost per minute comparisons, and increased sales. When Grunter started talking I went to work."
"I shoved myself into his crack. He wiggled, and I traveled deeper. Then I moved around to one side so that his package was hanging free."

Unwanted Moisture (Socks CXXXIV)

"Is that as nasty as it sounds?"
"Sure is."
"I can't think of anything I like about this guy."
"That's not all, sometimes he doesn't shake off good enough, and I get a big, smelly wet spot next to my fly."
"He dripped on Lar and I once."
"I remember, I was there. I had a huge wet spot that night."
"That was you?"
"That moron stood in front of the hand dryer, blowing hot air on me till I was almost dry."
"I say it again, I don't like Grunter."
"When I get tired of him, I get even."

Boxer's View (Socks CXXXIII)

Grunter took out his phone and pushed buttons, "I'll be a little late getting back from lunch. If anyone from Essex calls, tell them I'll call right back, and get a hold of me on my cell."
Before Grunter left the room he gave the clothes one last kick. Rar flew, landing on the boxers, next to the wall.
"Man, that guy's a jerk."
"Right you are, and he has a bunion on the left foot."
"He blows gas every time he gets in the car."
"Every time?"
"Often enough. Then he will sniff, and say 'That's a ripe one."

Liquid Lunch (Socks CXXXII)

Grunter opened the wallet and counted, "Twenty, thirty, five, and one, two," then jiggled the coins in his pocket.
"Lar, do you think Nick is in there?"
"I hope not brother, I hope not."
Grunter left and a few minutes later came back carrying a glass containing ice in a golden liquid. He would sip, then shake the glass, making the cubes tinkle against the edge of the glass, then sip again.
He took a tee-shirt from the basket, tossing it, then turned the whole basket upside down, kicking the clothes, "Next time take care of the laundry on time."

Wallet Search (Socks CXXXI)

Grunter continued to talk into the phone, "Don't ever put me on the spot like that again."
*
"I don't care what I implied, don't..."
*
"Just don't, or you'll find out."
*
"Hello. Hello. B!#@#."
Grunter punched buttons, waited, "Who do you think you are, hanging up on me? We'll talk about this later. And next time I call, you answer. Got it?"
Grunter paused, "I'll be home late tonight," then smashed the red button.
Walking around the room, Grunter looked atop the dresser, then searched the shelf above the headboard, finally the nightstand.
"There it is," he picked up his wallet.

Boxer Ball (Socks CXXX)

Grunter stared at the basket, "What's this?"
Picking up Boxer so that he unfurled, Grunter muttered, "Couldn't you take care of the laundry before you left?"
"Hey I was all folded."
Grunter didn't hear.
"Fold me back up."
Squishing Boxer into a ball, Grunter tossed him into the basket, and pulled out his cell phone.
"I came home for lunch, where are you?"
*
"Why didn't you finish the laundry first?"
*
"Oh, Mom wanted to leave."
*
"Are you really with your mother?"
*
"Wait. No, don't put her on."
*
*
"Hello."
*
"Are you enjoying your lunch?"
*
"Sure put her back on."
*
*
"Real funny."

Enter Boxer (Socks CXXIX)

"Lar, did you understand all of that?"
"I think so."
"Please explain it to me."
A pair of boxers spoke up, "Yea, explain why she's mad at me too."
"She's not mad at you."
As best he could, Lar explained why Pretty was angry with Grunter, why she called the Fatman, the whole mess.
The brothers agreed on several things. They both liked Pretty, Mom, and Dad, but not Grunter, or Ms Stubbly.
"Who's Ms Stubbly?" Boxer had never seen her, so that was clarified.
From the other room, "Hello?" Grunter walked in the bedroom, "Where the hell is she?"

Resolve (Socks CXXVIII)

As the TV softly departed it's accounts of events and weather Mom said, "Let's go have some lunch, and I'll get the money out of the bank."
"I'm nervous."
"We don't have to get the money."
"No, I have to find out."
Pretty carried the basket into the bedroom, and set it on the bed. She put some items into the closet. Then she picked up a pair of underwear and looked at them, "Once I catch you, you cheating a$$#@!E, you'll be washing your own boxers."
She tossed the boxers back in the basket, and left, "Mom. I'm ready."

The Agreement (Socks CXXVII)

"Mom, can I borrow some money?"
"How much?"
"Five hundred."
"You have that much, easily."
"Yes, but the Fatman wants cash, and if I take it out of the bank...."
"I understand."
"That much gets us started. He said the average cost is about fifteen hundred."
"We can help you."
"He will give me a tracker to put in the car. My name is on the title, so it's legal."
Mom said nothing.
"I can have pictures, or catch them in the act."
Mom let pretty ramble on.
"I don't even know the fatman's name, he calls himself Mick Jagger."

Tuesday Decision (Socks CXXVI)

"I've been thinking about hiring a private eye. That voice change sealed it. I think Frank's covering for him" Pretty flipped through the phone book. She mumbled to herself.
"Mufflers, plumbers, printers, restaurants, crap, private investigators. See investigators and investigation services."
She flipped the other direction, "Loans, furniture, insurance, investment securities, ahh, investigators. Wow, there really is a Fatman agency, who knew."
Pretty punched buttons, "Yes, I wonder... I would like to... I believe my husband may be having an affair... I want him followed."
*
"OK. I understand"
*
"I work tomorrow afternoon, I'll call in the morning." The call ended.

Tuesday Dead End (Socks CXXV)

Pretty's thumb hit the red button, the phone found it's way to the coffee table, and another tear headed for the ground.
"Crap."
Mom came in, "What?"
"When I mentioned racquetball, Mr. Petersen's voice changed. He said that it was his pleasure to beat the new guy. He said that he always likes to spend social time with people that are being groomed, get to know them outside work."
"Maybe..."
"Then he said that the two of them would be probably spend quite a bit of time together in the near future."
Pretty paused, then, "But Mom, his voice changed."

Tuesday Fishing (Socks CXXIV)

"If you call his boss and he's not lying....."
"I know, I'll look like a nut case. I have a plan."
Mom went back to the kitchen.
Pretty called. She explained to the person on the other end who she was and that she would like to speak to Mr. Petersen.
"...called to thank you for trusting my husband with the Essex campaign."
*
"Yes he is, very excited."
The conversation carried for a few more minutes.
"I won't take up any more of your time, but thanks again."
*
"Oh, and thanks for taking him to play racquetball, he loves playing."

Tuesday Information (Socks CXXIII)

Sounds came from the kitchen. Cupboards and drawers, opened and closed, metal tinkled against metal, water ran, and Mom hummed.
Pretty sat on the couch talking into the phone, "Thank you."
Pretty punched the red button, set the cordless on the coffee table, and stared across the room. A single tear made it's way toward her chin.
Mom came in with coffee, "Are you OK?"
"I still don't know anything. The courts close at nine, but they don't lock the doors until ten."
"Maybe he's telling the truth."
"I doubt it."
Pretty sipped her coffee, "I should call his boss."

Tuesday Call (Socks CXXII)

"What are you going to do?"
"I'm going to call Court Connection to get their hours."
"Should I leave, so you can have your privacy?"
"No. I've been putting it off, waiting for you to get here."
"OK?"
"I don't want to be alone, in case I get bad news."
"When are you going to call?"
"Right now."
"I'll go to the kitchen, make some coffee while you call."
"Thanks, Mom."
"I'll be right in here if you need me."
Pretty got the phone book, flipped pages, and punched buttons.
"Hello. Can you tell me what hours you are open?"

Tuesday Suspicion (Socks CXXI)

Grunter left. Pretty put the boys in the washer with other clothes. After drying they were in the basket, being carried to the living room when the doorbell rang.
"Mom?"
"It's me."
"Come in."
The boys were near the bottom, under most of the clothes, they could hardly hear. The basket was on the couch, between Mom and Pretty. They shared the job of folding, and as the clothes were removed above them, they heard more of the conversation.
"...home late again last night."
"How late?"
"After eleven."
"What was his excuse?"
"Playing racquetball with Frank. I'm sure he's lying."

Monday's Answer (Socks CXX)

Grunter gave no response.
Pretty left the room, but in a short while, "I've made eggs and toast."
"Be right there."
"Where did you play?"
"How long will you yammer?"
"How long will you avoid the question?"
No response.
"Your breakfast is getting cold."
"Not as cold as your.."
"I'd be warmer if you'd be more honest."
"Give me a break."
"I'm fresh out of breaks. Where did you play?"
Grunter said nothing, but left the room.
Pretty got Grunter's suit jacket and left. From the other room came, "Here's your coat. Where did you play?"
"Court Connection. OK?"
"Thank-you."

Monday Or Tuesday? (Socks CXIX)

Pretty took a pillow from the bed, and a blanket from the closet, then carried them out of the bedroom.
The alarm went off, three times. Grunter got up, stumbled over the pile of clothes at the foot of the bed, kicked them toward the basket, and walked into the bathroom. The shower turned on.
Pretty came in, put the clothes in the basket, put her blanket in the closet, and made the bed.
The water shut off and Grunter walked in.
"Where did you play?"
Grunter said nothing.
A moment later, "The coffee is on. Where did you play?"

Monday Ends (Socks CXVIII)

"You're late, and you put the blame back on me?"
"I didn't know I had a curfew."
"Just be honest with me."
"I walk in and you start with the finger pointing."
"What am I supposed to think?"
"What ever you concoct in your little mind," Grunter said tapping Pretty's forehead.
She slapped his hand away, "Answer one more question."
"No more questions."
"Where did you play?"
"I'm going to bed."
"Where did you play?"
Grunter ignored his wife, undressed, got in bed, and was soon snoring.
From the top of the pile Rar yelled, "HE"S LYING!!!"
She didn't hear.

Monday's Q&A (Socks CXVII)

"What clothes did you play in?"
"I have some at the office."
"Where are they now?"
"I forgot and left them in Franks car."
"Why does your breath smell like beer?"
"We stopped for a drink."
"A drink?"
"A few."
"You never told me where you played."
"I don't need this."
"Where did you play?"
"I'm not answering any more questions."
"Who is she?"
"Your so insecure, you always think there's another woman."
"Admit it, it looks fishy."
"To a nut case."
"I'm not a nut..."
"Maybe it's you that's stepping out. You know what they say about the accuser."

Monday Homecoming (Socks CXVI)

Grunter toweled off, sat on the edge of the bed, and dressed.
"Let yourself out. Catch the lights, and lock the knob. Don't worry about the deadbolt."
"What about your car?"
"Just go home."
In the car the radio was silent, accelerating was gentle, and the braking smooth .
When Grunter stepped into the living room, Pretty was still awake, watching the news.
"I didn't expect you this late."
"I didn't either."
Pretty got up and kissed grunter, "Did you just get out of the shower?"
"Frank wanted to play Racquetball."
"This late? Where?"
"What is this, the third degree?"

Monday's Zenith (Socks CXV)

Next thing the boys knew, the pants, the shirt, and the grundys were on the front room floor. Christner reached down and touched Rar.
"Leave those on, I'm in a hurry."
Christner stood up. Gina said, "Mr. Hurst is back," making engine noises and pretending to shift again.
Next they were between the sheets, the twins rubbing against the stubbly ankles, the humans snorting, and grunting.
"Why didn't that lowlife leave us on the floor?"
At least it didn't last very long.
"Don't fall asleep. Shower up and go home to your wife."
"Brother, he has another name, it's Grunter."

Monday's Top Ten (Socks CXIV)

Gina opened the door and walked in ahead of Christner, turning on the kitchen light.
"Lock the door."
She turned the TV on, "Have a seat, I'll be right back."
Christner kicked off his shoes, and put Lar and Rar up on the coffee table. He held the remote and surfed, stopping on Sports Center. By the time Gina came back in he was all caught up on the playoffs, and the top ten plays of the week.
"Sorry, I had to make a call."
She took the remote, turned the TV off, and pushed him down on the couch.

Monday Rules (Socks CXIII)

"If you can't keep this quiet, it's off."
"I can do that."
"If you act any way except normal, what we are about to do, will never happen again."
"Call me Mr. Normal."
"Well, I can't call you Mr. Hurst. The gearshift has shriveled."
"It'll be back. Let's go."
"Not so fast, there's more. Don't call my house."
"Fine."
"Or my cell after work hours."
"Anything else?"
"Yes. Did you bring any condoms?"
"No, I didn't expect..."
"I have some. Bring some from now on."
"OK."
"Kimono. Type E."
"I use Trojans."
"Not on me you don't. Let's go inside."

Monday Drive (Socks CXII)

Christner got back to the table, "We can go, I signed the tab, Essex is buying."
In the car Gina kept leaning over from the passenger seat and talking in Christner's ear while he tried to drive. They both laughed, the music was loud, and she had his pants undone. She gave him directions.
"The next left," moving her hand in his crotch she would say, "This way."
"Down shift," as she mimicked a gear shift, making engine noises.
"Next driveway on the left. Park in front of the garage."
Gina got serious, "Before we go in, some ground rules."

Monday's Lies (Socks CXI)

Lar and Rar talked with the shoes, heard the music, smelled the beer leaking from Christner's pores. Most of this was familiar. Then one foot came out of the slip-on, stretched across, and stared rubbing on Rar.
"Lar, there's a callous on this big toe."
Lar laughed, the slip-ons laughed, Rar didn't laugh. This was becoming intolerable.
Christner went into a small room and stood facing the wall, making humming noises. He stepped from the wall, took out his cell, and punched buttons.
"The meeting's going longer than expected."
*
"Sid wants us to go to his office."
*
"Don't wait up."

Monday's Ankles (Socks CX)

The twins were under the table across from a pair of brown, open-toed slip-ons. The shoes were nice enough, but not too bright. They gabbed on about the places they had been, sidewalks, carpets, wooden floors, stair cases. It was all boring, but that part was tolerable.
Every now and then the pants would ride up and the ankles would show. Unlike the smooth ankles of Pretty, these were a bit chubby and unshaven. This part was also tolerable.
Someone put money in the jukebox, the boys thought of Nick, and they could no longer hear what was being said.

Monday Teachings (Socks CIX)

As the others were leaving, Gina said, "Grab your folder, let's get a booth so they can clean up."
At the booth Gina said, "I need a drink, a whiskey sour, a double."
"Were still working."
"OK, we'll put it on the Essex tab."
"We can't drink on the..."
"On what? The clock?"
"Yea."
"Did you punch a clock today?"
"No."
"Let me tell you how this works. You're on a new level now, not all of the rules are applied equally."
"But Frank..."
"If Timmy and Megan hadn't been there, Frank and Sid would have had two or three."

Monday Meeting (Socks CVIII)

"OK, everybody's here. Let's eat, I'm starved," said Frank.
After the meal Tim put a flip chart on an easel, "We picture a mainly TV campaign, using cable supplier's ability to target specific demographics and..."
Tim droned on, Megan droned on, then Sid took the floor.
"That's as far as we can go today, we'll meet again in two weeks ."
Gina said, "I have some ideas I'd like to run past our new ad man. Can I keep him here, Frank?"
"Sure, I'll ride back with Tim and Megan."
"You rode with me," Sid exclaimed.
"I'll catch a cab."

More Monday (Socks CVII)

The phone rang. "Of course you can ride with me, Frank."
The ride to the restaurant was different than the ride to work. No loud rock music, accelerating and braking was smooth, and no other drivers were castigated.
"It will be pleasure to work with you again, Sid," Christner said.
"You can thank Frank and Gina. They recommended you to get your shot in the pilots seat," Sid confided.
Gina put her hand on Christner's shoulder, "When I heard your name, I knew the campaign was in capable hands."
The only two members of Christner's team, Tim and Megan, arrived.

Monday Continued (Socks CVI)

All started normal on that fateful Monday, jack rabbit driving, cell phone calls, horn honking, and berating fellow drivers, but by the time the twins got back to their drawer, Christner would have a new moniker.
First thing that morning Frank had Christner and his team in for a meeting, neither Randy nor Karen were there.
At the end of the meeting Frank said, "Don't forget, lunch-meeting at noon with Sid and Gina from Essex. It should take most of the afternoon."
Christner went to his desk, shuffled papers, typed, and made calls.
Lar noted that the clip was gone.

Monday Starts (Socks CV)

The boys spent yet another night propped on the brass rail. Christner drank, played pool, and hit on women. The man didn't wobble as much as the last time, but they still had beer spilled on them.
Again they were on the floor at the foot of the bed. Again they were washed, dried, folded, and put in the drawer by the nice lady, Pretty Shanks.
The next time the twins left the drawer must have been Monday, because before Christner went to work Pretty said, "Good luck with the new account. Knock 'em dead."
"You sound like my mother."

Two Dates (Socks CIV)

At the desk the boys and the clip chatted while Christner read the file then made calls.
"I can't out go to dinner tonight. Mr. Petersen gave me a new account. I'll have to work late."
*
"Some more spots for Essex."
*
"I'm heading the project."
*
"He said to call him Frank."
*
"That's all you worry about. No raise, just a bonus."
*
"Got work to go. Don't wait up I might be real late."
He dialed again.
"Good news, I'm getting out early."
*
"I can be at Remington's about 3:30."
*
"Yea, dollar drafts tonight."
*
"I'm buying. I got a raise today."

Slogans (Socks CIII)

Frank led the way down the hall. Chrisner stopped at an open door. Lar and Rar recognized Randy when he looked up. Christner stuck his hand in the room and raised one finger, Randy chuckled.
The woman in front of Frank's office gave Christner a file folder. Frank said, "Go over these slogans, if you have any ideas, e-mail me before you leave."
Christner stepped into another office on the way back, "Karen, can you look at these slogans?"
Karen opened the folder, and handed it back, "These are mine."
Christner turned to leave.
"So long, Christner."
"You too?"
"Yep."

Slogans (Socks CIII)

Frank led the way down the hall. Chrisner stopped at an open door. Lar and Rar recognized Randy when he looked up. Christner stuck his hand in the room and raised one finger, Randy chuckled.
The woman in front of frank's office gave Christner a file folder. Frank said, "Go over these slogans, if you have any ideas, e-mail me before you leave."
Christner stepped into another office on the way back, "Karen, can you look at these slogans?"
Karen opened the folder, and handed it back, "These are mine."
Christner turned to leave.
"So long, Christner."
"You too?"
"Yep."

Pre-lunch (Socks CII)

"I take great pride in my holding abilities."
"Do you ever let go?"
"Yes, I use my strength to grasp until I need to release."
"Then what?"
"I get put on some more papers to do it again."
"How many times have you done this?"
"At least a dozen."
The knock came at the office door and it opened immediately, it was Frank, "Why's the door closed?"
"Randy closed it earlier."
"When are you taking lunch?"
"About ten minutes."
"I've got something for you, it'll take about an hour. Do that, then take the rest of the day off. Celebrate."

Clip (Socks CI)

"I'm changing his name. He is no longer Rough, from now on we will call him Christner."
"You hate this guy, don't you?"
The new Christner sat at his desk the remainder of the morning making calls, typing, and muttering.
"Those troublemakers better stay out of my way."
A small bent wire bounced off the rim of the waste basket and fell next to Rar, "Hello."
"I've never seen anything like you."
"We keep feet warm."
"Is it fun?"
"Except when the feet stink."
"This bunion is no fun either."
"What are you?"
"I'm a clip, I hold papers together."

Christner Remembered (Socks C)

"You call him Frank?"
"That ok with you?"
"Christner used to call him Frank."
"And?"
"Christner doesn't work here anymore," Randy sang.
"I'm not Christner. I might have a chat with Frank about this."
"Before you do, know that the whole group is ready to let Mr. Petersen know what you did."
"Which was?"
"Karen came up with most of the ideas."
"But I..."
"Bob did the post production."
"You can't..."
"You stole the credit."
"You ungrateful..."
"We're together on this."
Randy open the door, "It's time to sink or swim, Christner."
The closed door heard, "Don't call me Christner."

Can I be Frank? (Socks XCIX)

Rough was at his desk when another man came in the small office, "Heard you got the Essex account."
"Sure did, Randy. You want on the team?"
"No, got a full plate already," Randy shut the door.
"I could use your talent on this."
"I bet you could."
"Come on, we'll tear this one up."
"We?"
"Just like the public service job."
"Do you mean that the team stays in the office and does the work, while you golf with Mr. Petersen?"
"What are you saying?"
"That's the way it worked on the TV seven spots."
"Frank needed a partner."

Call Me Frank (Socks XCVIII)

"Come to think of it, the only job you handled were those public service announcements for channel seven."
"It came out good though."
"That's why I think you can handle it."
"When do I start?"
"Next Monday. Tie up all the loose ends on anything else you have."
"I won't let you down, Mr. Petersen."
"Call me Frank."
"I will."
"Well, you better get busy on those loose ends."
The man said, "Thank you, Sir," shook Frank's hand, and left the office, taking Lar and Rar went with him.
Rar didn't like this man and took to calling him Rough.

Assignment (Socks XCVII)

Mr. Petersen's feet were atop a large desk. Leaning back in a leather chair, a phone to his ear, holding up one finger, he pointed to a chair, nodded, and smiled.
"True. He hasn't headed anything this big, but he can handle it."
*
"Because he's tore up every assignment he's had. I have personally given him every crap job that came in, and he did it with a smile."
*
"Thanks, Sid." Mr. Petersen hung up.
"That was Sid at Essex. You head his next ad campaign."
"I haven't had crap jobs."
"I know, but you swing a mean golf club."

Summoned (Socks XCVI)

The radio came alive, the car moved, stop and go, the horn honked a couple times, and before long the man got out of the car. Lar and Rar had no choice but to tag along.
The man went through a set of glass double doors. There was a woman at a desk just inside.
"Any messages?"
She handed him a slip of paper, "Only one. Mr. Petersen wants you to see you right away."
The man walked down the hall to a different desk, a different woman, "Mr. Petersen wanted to see me?"
"Yes. Go on in, he's waiting."

Commute Calls (Socks XCV)

Soon the boys were in the car, the man driving. His cell phone rang.
"I don't know if I can go to dinner tonight."
*
"Go ahead and make reservations. That way you can be in control of the restaurant."
*
"No. I won't have time to make the reservations."
*
"I don't care. Wait, no chick-flick."
*
"I'm in traffic, gotta go."
The man immediately pushed more buttons.
"Hey man, I might not be able to shoot pool after work."
*
"The old lady wants to go out tonight."
*
"I'll call later, let you know."
He hung up, "Let's go moron, the light's green."

Before Work (Socks XCIV)

One morning the twins left the drawer. Rar got the bunion this time. The man walked around the house, shaving, eating, and drinking coffee.
"What are your doing today?"
"Lunch with Mom."
"Again? Why don't you get a regular job?"
"I can make as much doing call-in."
"You don't have a schedule. It disrupts our life."
"If we make plans, I can refuse."
"You never refuse work."
"Let's do something tonight. I'll take my name off the list."
"Maybe."
"Why don't we go to dinner, and catch a movie?"
"We'll see."
"I'll make reservations."
The man silently left the room.

First Wash (Socks XCIII)

After an evening of drinking, loud music, bad smells, and wetness, the boys ended up on the bedroom floor in the same pile as the other smoky, smelly clothes.
In the morning, Pretty picked them up, "Pew," and put them directly in the washing machine.
They swam around with pants, shirts, and underwear, then tumbled in the warm air of the dryer.
Pretty folded them and took them back to the drawer.
"That was quite an experience."
"I'm figuring out that I like some of these humans. Some I don't."
"Me too. I like Mom and Dad."
"And Pretty Shanks."

Bar Scene (Socks XCII)

Lar and Rar made at least a dozen trips across the room. Under each table would be ankles not as big as the ones they covered. The boys talked to anklets, panty hose, even Croks. The man would stay a short time, then go back next to ASICS.
As the evening went on, they made more trips across the room, but the stays got shorter.
One time while talking with ASICS, a bitter liquid came down on them. Later they bumped into a chair. Once they stood looking at a wall, the man stumbled back, and they got wet again.

At The Bar (Socks XCI)

The shoes covering the twins were black leather, while the running shoes were white with some blue. They claimed to be ASICS. It was on their tongues.
ASICS explained all they knew about footwear, but it was confusing to listen to them. When they talked they would finish each others sentences, they would talk at the same time, and you couldn't tell which one was talking.
Every so often the man would leave the bar, walk across the room and stand for a while near a pair of shoes that were smaller, had high heels, or sandals with painted nails.

To The Bar (Socks XC)

Rar went on first. This foot didn't smell like the Dad's bare feet. Then Lar went on.
"Smell that?"
"How could I not?"
"I hope all feet don't smell like this."
"I got a bunion over here on this one."
"Yuck. Are you getting poked in the toe?"
"Yes. This must be what Dick called nails."
Shoes covered the twins, and off they all went.
They stayed for quite a while, in a place where loud music played. The shoes were propped on a brass pipe between two pair of tennis shoes.
"We're running shoes, those are tennis shoes."
"Sorry."

Rough Actions (Socks LXXXIX)

The man walked into the bathroom. Rar could see his reflection in the mirror brushing his teeth. He dug around in his nose for a few seconds, then put his index finger under the running water. Then he lifted each arm and, in turn, sniffed both hairy armpits. After putting on deodorant he got a shirt from the closet, and farted.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, the man put one bare foot on his knee, and grabbed the twins. Rar hadn't noticed that the man was barefoot, but remembered getting stepped on by bare feet. That was ok.

Rough Hands (Socks LXXXVIII)

Lar and Rar could hear noises outside the drawer. The drawer opened. Rough hands picked them up, inspected them, rubbed each ones toes, as if fumbling. That didn't feel so great.
The man mumbled, "Not bad. Finally, she didn't screw something up."
He tossed the boys on the bed, pulled out his cell, and punched numbers.
"Want to go have a beer?"
*
"No, she works till eleven. She left a note."
He talked for a few more minutes, and put the cell away.
Next he took off his shirt, leaving it a crumpled heap at the foot of the bed.

Late Call (Socks LXXXVII)

Pretty came in the room, "Who was that?"
"Your Dad. He's golfing."
The women were in the kitchen talking when the phone rang.
"Hello."
"Sure. I might be a little late."
Pretty hung up the phone.
"They need someone to come in 3 to 11, and cover in ER."
"I'll go. If I get out of your way you won't be late."
Mom put Sony back in the purse.
The two ladies said their good-byes and Mom left.
"There goes Nick and SONY. I like those guys."
Pretty carried the boys to the bedroom, and shut them in the drawer.

Cell Call (Socks LXXXVI)

"Hi," Mom whispered.
*
"I can't, she might hear."
*
"Yes I am, we just finished lunch."
*
"I played it for her."
*
"Not much, she left the room as soon as it was done."
*
"I think Sarah surprised her."
*
"I've got to hurry, she's in the bathroom."
*
"I said that I wanted her to hear Sarah."
*
"I think so, she looked like she was going to cry."
*
"Well, I told her that I didn't want her to feel bad."
*
"Of course I did, but not too bad."
*
"Right, just bad enough to not doubt me. Ever again."
*
"Got to go, she's coming."

Replay (Socks LXXXV)

"You don't have to play that, I feel bad for doubting you already."
"I'm not trying to make you feel bad. I just want you to hear Sarah."
SONY repeated the scene that had taken place between Mom and Sarah while the women ate their soup.
"Wow, she came right out and admitted it. What will you do with it?"
"Nothing now. Sarah promised to tell the girls."
"And if she..."
"I have the recording."
Pretty took the bowls to the sink, "I have to go to the bathroom."
When Mom was alone she grabbed her cell and punched buttons.

Remorse (Socks LXXXIV)

It was Pretty Shanks. Lar and Rar were glad to see her again. Pretty handled the boys and massaged their scars. That still felt good.
"Looks like new, Mom."
"I don't think he'll be able to tell."
Pretty hugged Mom saying, "I'm sorry that I didn't believe you."
"Don't fret, Sarah fooled everyone."
Pretty set the twins on the counter, and stirred the contents of the pan on the stove. The pan giggled with each swirl of the spoon.
"Hope you don't mind leftover corn chowder."
Bowls were filled and set on the table.
Mom pulled SONY from the purse.

Departing (Socks LXXXIII)

Mom held the nickel between her thumb and forefinger. As the change purse clicked open, Nick wiggled out of the grasp. He jumped between the wallet and the twins, "Hi, boys," and down to the bottom. He had spent some time there and was glad to be back.
"Damn it. I'll get it later."
Mom carried the purse containing SONY, the twins, and Nick out to the car.
Before long The twins were removed, "So long friends, good luck."
"Later, Nick."
Nick knew that objects came and went, most of the time forever. He had warned them of this earlier.

Call (Socks LXXXII)

Mom’s voice was muffled coming from the bedroom, but when she walked past the shelf she could be understood. She was crying when first she came through, but at the last she was smiling and said, “I can be there for lunch. Oh, the mending is done, I’ll bring them.”
“I think she’s talking about you boys, this might be good-bye,” said Nick.
Farewells were passed around as a man on TV yelled, “Come on down.”
Mom opened her purse, and put the Gylegrey brothers in. She picked up SONY muttering, “You need to come along too.”
She grabbed Nick.

Pre-Call (Socks LXXXI)

Dad hugged Mom, “I knew you would pretty soon.”
“I’m still mad.”
“I knew that too.”
“How?”
“You haven’t used your daughter’s name for a week.”
“Why did she believe Sarah?”
“We should have explained the first time.”
“Everyone should know that I wouldn’t steal.”
“I agree. I’ll leave so you can call.”
Dad walked into the bedroom and came out with the trophy, ”I’ll carry this in the golf cart.“
“Why?”
“I beat Fred by two pins for this. He buys the beer today.” Dad headed for the door.
Mom punched buttons on the cordless, and left the room.

It’s Ten (Socks LXXX)

By now the laughter had settled.
“I can’t hear it now, myself.”
Mom and Dad looked at each other without speaking.
Seth Thomas sang out ten times.
“Are we going to stare at each other all day?”
Dad weighed his options. “I have a noon tee time; you‘re naked.”
“Go get dressed.”
Dad turned toward the bedroom, Mom pulled his boxers to his knees.
Dad chuckled, Mom whistled, and the boxers said, “Wee.”
Dad held the trophy, and hoisted his grundys one handed.
The humans, clothed, came into the room.
Mom picked the twins from the shelf, “I’ll call today.”

Formal Talks (Socks LXXIX)

“Looks like I ended up on the floor that time.”
“You have relieved us of that tiresome trophy at the very least, lads,” said the book.
“I like when you talk formal,” said the coin.
“Explain yourself, Nick.”
“Sometimes you talk formal.”
“I do not believe my speech is in a formal manor.”
There was a pause while all the objects looked one to another, then all burst into laughter. Dick laughed so hard he snorted.
“Listen Dad, the noise is back.”
Dad looked around, still holding the trophy.
After about a minute he said, “I don’t hear a thing.”

It’s Time (Socks LXXVIII)

Rar had been clipped, sewed, folded, and stuffed in a purse, but being stepped on by bare feet felt pretty good.
Dad picked him up and folded him together with his brother.
He showed the twins to Mom, “You know, it’s been more than a week.”
“Tomorrow, I promise.”
“You said that two days ago.”
“This time I mean it.”
“Your daughter called to talk to you yesterday.”
“My daughter? She’s yours too.”
“Yea, but I’ve talked to her every day this week.”
“I’m still mad at her.”
“She called to apologize.”
Dad put the boys back on the shelf.

Another Try (Socks LXXVII)

“Hang on, Rar.”
“Let go of me, scoundrel.”
Lar hugged Two, but Rar fell to the carpet. Dad’s bare feet stepped on him.
“This trophy was about to fall again.”
“Did you hear me? I said the noise stopped.”
“I heard you, but I didn’t hear any noise.”
“Maybe you should get your hearing checked.”
“I’m not the one hearing noises.”
“Very funny.”
Dick was eavesdropping. “She’s listening, We can get her attention now.” He had learned form the last time, he simply shouted and every object one the shelf joined in. Without Lar and Rar, they weren’t loud enough.

Two On One (Socks LXXVI)

Both boys were deep into the fray.
"Two against one, no damn fair," the trophy declared.
"Looks like two against Two," Nick joked.
Rar became weak with laughter. Two gained the upper hand.
The twins rallied, and before Dr. Phil ended, Two was on the verge.
Every object on the shelf started cheering.
"Push boys."
"Don't let 'em get away."
Even the lamp wanted Two expelled, and voiced her opinion loudly.
Mom turned the TV down. "Dad, come listen."
Dad walked in, stood, listened, spotted the trophy, and grabbed him, pulling the twins from the shelf.
“Crap, the noise stopped.”

Struggle (Socks LXXV)

Again, Rar had slipped behind Two, pushing.
"You won't shove me off this time, you lint specked lout."
"Sure about that? You're almost at the edge."
Rar thrust with his toe. Two twisted left. Rar drove his heel into the trophy's base, pushing him closer to the brink.
The fight lasted through Good Morning America. The humans passed the shelf several times, but didn't notice the struggle.
Two was strong. Rar was loosing his grip. Two spun to the right, away from Rar, only to run into Lar.
The abrupt stop put Two off balance. Now Lar began to push.

Aesthetic Debate (Socks LXXIV)

The underwear discussion continued. Although Dick had never actually seen corsets, girdles, or bustles, he taught the others about these and more.
Nick didn't understand why would humans want to be round up top and in the rear, "Flat, and Round in the middle is the best look."
"Big on one end is better," the bulb claimed.
"That look is ok, but without the rusty base," the lamp added.
"Silver and slim," said SONY.
"Knowledge is more important than looks," Dick declared.
Two had feigned indifference during the conversation, gazing out into the room. He felt something at his back.

Morning View (Socks LXXIII)

Mom was watching the morning news, Dad stood in the bedroom doorway, watching her.
"I like seeing you like this, but we should get dressed."
"I'll be right there."
Dad ducked into the bedroom, and came back out in his boxers. As he walked around the house, getting coffee, stopping to watch TV, and brushing his teeth, the boxers were singing. The humans didn't listen.
Dick explained that most boxers liked to move around uncovered.
Nick had talked to underwear while in pockets, and said that other styles had similar likes.
"As a rule, panties like it too." Nick added.

Contention (Socks LXXII)

"Let's go on two. In honor of old second place," Rar chided.
"No. Thirty seven, that's how many hours I record."
"How about sixty. I'm a sixty watt."
"We should use three," said the three way lamp.
"How about a million? I have about that many words in me," Dick asked sarcastically.
Mom stood in the middle of the room. not moving. Her head turning slowly side to side.
The argument continued until Mom gave up and turned the TV on.
Dick was frustrated.
"If we had yelled on three, she might have listened."
"Sixty."
"Two."
The controversy started again.

Craving Attention (Socks LXXI)

"Listen," Mom said.
"She's listening," Dick said.
"Try again."
"Hello."
Mom just stood still, quietly looking around the room.
"Hey."
Each object, in turn, tried to get Mom's attention.
"Over here."
The lamp spoke up, "Bring Verde back, please."
Mom slowly moved about the room, stepping as lightly as possible, stopping frequently and looking around.
"Listen to me, you fixed my toe."
"Listen to me. I'm a winner."
"Listen to me, I'm worth five."
"Let's work together. She listened when we all laughed or cheered," said Dick.
"Everybody yell, on three. Ready?
"Why can't we go on five?" Nick asked.

In The Buff (Socks LXX)

"Humans would never listen to you losers."
"So, they would listen to you?"
Two pretended to ignore the question.
Light came through the curtains, and the humans carried their plates into the kitchen.
Lar had never seen humans without clothes.
"It's called naked." Dick explained. He had seen this occurrence occasionally throughout his years on the shelf. Usually early in the morning.
"Maybe you can talk to Dad," Rar said to Two.
Two snubbed Rar, but when the humans came through the room, Two yelled "Hey."
Dad breezed past.
The others laughed.
Mom stopped walking, and turned toward the shelf.

Hark (Socks LXIX)

Dick stopped laughing. "Mom is listening to us."
"So?"
"Remember when she found Libbey? She didn't listen then."
"When Mom fixed my toe, she said, "You look good now," then rubbed the sore spot."
"She talked to me when she sewed my heel, too."
"Dad talked to me when he put me up here with you guys," Nick added.
"Humans talk to objects quite often," Dick said, "but seldom listen."
"They listen to me all the time," SONY said.
"Not the same thing."
"What does this mean?"
"It means you're all lowlifes."
"Lowlife is synonymous with troublemaker, that fits you."

Two Returns (Socks LXVIII)

Dad carried one plate of eggs, bacon, and toast through the room. On the way back from the bedroom he set the trophy back on the shelf. He grabbed another plate of food and headed to the bedroom.
"I'm gonna keep an eye on you this time, fuzzy."
"You should. I get the chance, I'll shove you off again."
"Rar, ignore Two. He's got the disposition of a dime," Nick said.
"Disposition? That's a big word, Nick. You've been listening to Dick."
"Sure have. He's smart. Smart enough to like Oprah."
Everybody laughed, except Two.
"Dad, listen."
"Listen to what?"

Cheering Things (Socks LXVII)

Mom was sitting up in the bed when Dad put Two in her hands.
"Second place. Not bad."
"Thanks."
"723. Is that pins or beers?"
"Neither; barmaids."
"You wish."
"Tell you what Mom, you stay here, I'll make us breakfast in bed."
"If your not too tired from all those barmaids."
"I have a little energy left."
As Dad walked into the kitchen, the humans talked louder.
"Scrambled eggs ok?"
"Just right. What do you plan to do with this trophy?"
"I think I'll put it on the bookcase downstairs in the rec room."
"I just heard that applause again."

Hearing Things (Socks LXVI)

Thump.
"What was that?"
"I'll go check it out."
Dad touched the lamp and the bulb sprang into action. "My bowling trophy fell off the shelf."
"I heard applause."
"All I heard was a bump. Maybe your clock-radio is on."
Dad picked Two from the floor and set him on the shelf.
"The radio's off. Bring that trophy in here, I want to see it again."
Dad grabbed Two and started for the bedroom.
"There it goes again"
"What?"
"I heard applause again."
"You must be hearing things," Dad muttered.
"I heard that."
"You always do."
The lights went out.

Eviction (Socks LXV)

Who did these jokers think they were? Two ran with winners. Two was a winner.
"You're all losers. At lest I got second place. You got no place."
"We were getting along quite well, before you got here," Dick said.
"Wasn't my idea to hang out with you lowlifes."
While Two was bickering with Dick, Rar got behind him and pushed. Two was heavier, stronger, but slower. He tried to get out of the way. Rar had the jump on him.
Rar pushed throughout the night. Just before daybreak, Two lost his balance, tumbling from the shelf.
Cheers went up.

Two (Socks LXIV)

"Bingo genius, I'm a trophy. How'd ya guess?"
"I didn't guess."
"OK wise guy, what is it that I do?"
"You are a token or remembrance of success."
"Think you're pretty smart, don't ya?"
"He is smart," Nick claimed.
"Butt out. Who asked for your two cents?"
"Five."
"What're you talking about?"
"I'm worth five. What are you worth?"
"A lot. Man, I only hang with the best."
"Looks like you hang with second best," Rar piped in.
Everyone laughed except the trophy, and SONY repeated the conversation.
Dick said, "We should call him Two."
The whole business irritated Two.

Dad's Prize (Socks LXIII)

Lar, Rar, Sony, Nick, and Dick remained on the shelf together. Day and night went by several times. They would watch TV or talk to the other objects in the room. Most objects in the room couldn't be heard over the noise of the TV.
One evening Dad came in, singing, and set something on the shelf. Dick had a good view and read it.
"ALL-CITY SENIOR LEAGUE. 2ND PLACE SERIES. 723. Dick said with a deep voice.
“Why did you make your voice funny?”
“That’s the way it’s written. All bold letters.”
“What is it?”
“A trophy," Dick said."

A Libbey Sighting (Socks LXII)

With daylight came the humans, and the TV, stopping the conversation. Nick was glad. The lamp had dominated the room, yakking about her favorite bulb. At least she was more courteous.
Dad brought two steaming cups into the room. Mom stirred, Libbey laughed. Mom handed the spoon to Dad. Dad stirred, Libbey laughed. Then Mom and Dad laughed. Libbey sure enjoyed her job, but why were the humans laughing?
Mom picked up Lar and Rar. "I've got to take these home, but.....she believed Sarah."
"She'll come around, we have the recording."
"Maybe tomorrow."
Mom set the twins on the shelf.

Bulb Talk (Socks LXI)

"Well, your base is a little bit tarnished," the lamp confessed.
"Wait, I remember a green bulb. I sat next to him," the bulb said
"Really? Tell me, how was he?"
"Fine. His accent was hard to understand at first."
"I know. Did he tell you about his home?"
"Yes, he said it was hot there. He called it Caliente."
"I love his voice. I miss him so much."
"Did you know that green means innocent?" Dick said.
"I hope he comes back soon."
"Maybe for the next party."
"Party?"
"Right, when humans get together for fun."
"Verde is fun."

Dick Butts In (Socks LX)

Dick had heard enough, "You didn't like the last bulb either."
"What do you know?"
"The only bulb you ever liked was that green one mom gave you."
"Verde was nice."
"It was so romantic. A room full of humans, music, laughing. Then Seth Thomas rang twelve times and the humans were kissing. "
"I remember. We were having fun."
"I heard you two laughing together."
"So?"
"So, you've been a witch to every bulb since."
"He never even burned out, just got taken away."
"Not our fault."
"So that's it. Tell me the truth. Is my base really rusty?

Spectators (Socks LIX)

"My last bulb was brighter than you."
"We've been through this, I'm a 60 watt."
Rar hollered up to Nick, "Are you listening to this?"
"Yea. We've heard a lot of squabbles today."
"Some real doozeys."
"Again with the talking. I'm trying to listen."
"Who was that?"
"That was Dick. He likes Oprah."
"I don't like..."
"Relax, it's just a joke. By the way, Rar, Lar, this is Dick and SONY."
Neither bulb nor lamp paid attention to the others, and the spat continued.
"You have a burr on your base that irritates me."
"The good news-I'm a Long Life."

A Light Disagreement (Socks LVIII)

The TV went dark and as the humans left the room, the lights went out.
With the noise of the TV gone the twins could hear a few objects around the room talking.
"You are the most obnoxious bulb I have ever worked with. Your base is corroding and your too hot.
"Well you're stuck with me."
"I'll be here long after you have burned out."
"Until then, I'll take pleasure in your discomfort."
"If you would be just a little more agreeable..."
"Well, I'm not."
"I like it when a bulb does the job without all the chatter."
"Tough."

Libbey's Bath(Socks LVII)

Lar and Rar were still where mom had placed them, on the arm of the couch, when Dad came back. The boys could hear Nick, Libbey and a couple other voices coming from the shelf.
The twins watched as Dad carried Libbey away. Libbey's giggles lofted into the room. Surely she was getting a bath.
As night fell the boys, Mom, and Dad stayed on the couch and watched a bald guy making people open briefcases. Some of the cases were hollering, "Pick me. Pick me." Mom and Dad didn't seem to notice.
"Lar, I hope we see Libbey again."